Pregnancy Shock!

[Poodlemum1]

Hi I’ve just stopped shaking enough to write this.
I am 37 and my Husband 52 we have two children 13 and 8 years of age.
I have fertility issues and found it hard to conceive my two children.
I have been feeling unwell for the last few weeks but I have polycystic ovaries and thought it was that I have not had a period for two month (not unusual for me ).
I thought I’d get a test just to rule it out AND ITS POSITIVE😳😳😳😳
I’m so shocked so is my husband , I don’t believe in abortions at all.
It’s just going to be hard it’s 8 yr since my last baby we’re not in a good position financially and I had two emergency ceserian sections with my children.
The last one an emergency as I was not I Labour as the midwife thought but my uterus ruptured.
That’s what my husband is scared of as he nearly lost me the last time.

Hi @poodlemum. You are allowed to feel shock. I cried and phoned my friend as was such a shock. I am 41 and 10 years since ds was born. Messy emergency section here too. Give yourself some time and a breather. It is amazi g how fast you go from worries about money and career etc to planning and wanting the child so badly.

Take a breath and a beat and see you you both feel in a week or so. Xx

Yes your right, we both feel the same.
It’s Sod’s law though I think we’ve only managed to have sex a handful of times since Christmas!
I think my husband is worrying about his age but we both said things happen for a reason.
Although right now I do not know what that reason is !

Hey OP I just found out today that I'm pregnant too - I'm 40 and 8 years ago was told I had no eggs left so had IVF to have my DS. This is basically a total miracle. I'm alone and to make matters worse there are 2 possible fathers. My mental health has been atrocious and I felt weird for a week or so, had some horrific cramps but then no period, which has happened before but it just missed a month. My boobs are already huge but I can only be about 3-4 weeks. I'm in total shock.

It’s such a shock isn’t it !
I suppose your never gonna be in a good position to have a baby but it’s harder the older you are, especially when you think there’s no chance!
We will have to keep in touch and let me know how you get on.
I said before everything happens for a reason, and you must be ment to preganant if you were told you had no eggs ! A miracle xx

Poodle I also meant to add, you will probably be "red path" due to previous emergencies sections. Demand a planned section. I had no problem with them on this and they actually said they would have recommended it. Meant to be so much calmer than emergency and takes away that stress of what might happen. X

I asked for a section on my second as with my 1st daughter my waters broke I got to 8cm then they found out she was breech so 1st emergency ceserian.
I was persuaded to Have a natural birth with my second , I was enduced and had waters broke , I was In labour for 4 hours then they looked and said I wasn’t even 2cm but I was in agony asking for an epidural. ( I only had gas and air with my first)
That’s when they realised my uterus was ruptured so emergency section again.
To be honest this is worrying me about this birth.

Thank you @Sheera1 your making me feel so much better x

As I am older 🙄🙈 they will take me early for a planned section. With your history I am sure they will take lots of care and plan a section as early as they can to avoid you going in to labour. All these things will work out as you get further along but I overthink things and they are genuine worries you have. It sounds like you would have not gotten over the trauma for a good while and you would naturally be very anxious. Xx

Kinkyfink that all sounds so stressful for you too. Have you a close friend or family you can talk to. X

@Poodlemum1 yes definitely we should, it really helps being able to talk to someone in a similar situation

@Sheera1 thankfully yes and I've talked to some of them already which has helped too. Is it likely that my age will mean I have to have an early section? I had a natural birth without pain relief last time with no complications (very lucky)

I spoke to one of the possible fathers last night (I'll call him S), I hadn't planned to say anything but we talked for hours about other stuff and somehow the conversation just naturally led there, he was talking about wanting kids and then he made a joke asking if I was pregnant and I just decided to tell him. I told him everything, and about the other guy.

He was so calm and he told me he'd support me whatever I decided to do, even if it's not his - I was a bit blown away because it's the reaction I'd imagined but thought was unlikely!

We've been seeing each other for literally only a couple of months and he has said he's not ready for a relationship yet but we've talked about maybe going away somewhere after lockdown and me meeting his family etc, so I'm just trying to be relaxed about that side of things because it's really early days and the chemistry is amazing.

Plan is to wait until 10 weeks and have a paternity test (done with my blood and a swab from him) and if it's not his, I don't think I will want to keep it, but if it is, then depending on how things go until then maybe it can actually work...

I am wondering wth else can happen in 2020 because I never could've predicted this!

Glad you have managed to talk to some people and S sounds like he is a decent man. Hope things work out for you xx

I just got this text from him, I'm absolutely gutted, confused, anxious, every emotion...

"I have had a little time to think about this. Even tho I would do what I said I just don’t think continuing on is a good idea. I’m not in any position to look after someone else as I can’t even look after myself. I’m not financially stable or in the right mind set. You need to have a big think about this. As I don’t think it’s a good idea at all"

@Poodlemum1 I was you 13 weeks ago however age isn't a factor for us.
I too have PCOS and we had years of fertility treatment to have our second and we decided we were done. I was on the waiting list to be sterlised.
Mid March I suddenly had the realisation I couldn't remember when my last period was so I tested. Postive!
I called the GP and she referred me to EPU, I was over 10 weeks.
I'm now 23 weeks, we are over the shock and looking forward to becoming a family of 5. Financially we're not in the best position but we'll make it work, we always do. They'll be 5 of us in a 2 bedrooms home but again it'll be ok.
I did find that it didn't feel real but now he's flipping all over it's becoming more real every day and I'm bonding with my bump. I worry how DS will cope as he's only 3 but we'll take each day as it comes.
We're living in such an odd time so what's a bit more change

Hi. I found out a couple of weeks ago I am expecting dc4! My youngest is 6 (will be 7 when due date arrives)
It was a huge shock.
I feel like I have forgotten everything!

Hi hope your all doing well!
I’m going to have a planned section at 38 weeks but maybe earlier as baby measuring big but I’m diabetic.
Shock has passed and I’m so exited , we’ve managed to get everything and had a lot of things given to us .
To make it even more exciting it’s a BOY our two girls are so happy as are we.
I’m getting nervous about the planned section but he has to come out somehow .
Oh and I’ve just had a call from work while I’m on maternity leave to say they are making redundancy’s work it’s a waiting game . No plain sailing here 😂