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Unable to feel connected

13 replies

LJJ90 · 06/06/2020 13:36

Has anyone ever felt like they don't feel connected to their baby during pregnancy?
I'm worried about when baby is here that this feeling will continue?

OP posts:
SpillTheTeaa · 06/06/2020 13:51

How far along are you OP?
I didn't feel disconnected in my pregnancy but it doesn't mean you won't bond once baby is here. Speak to your midwife though to get reassurance and speak about how you feel x

Natalie654321 · 06/06/2020 14:00

How far along are you? Have you felt your baby move?

Becstar90 · 06/06/2020 14:09

I felt like this in the early stages because it didn't feel real. No bump, no movement etc. When she started kicking and moving around is when I felt that connection and 2 years on she is the light of my life. Can't imagine living without her.

LJJ90 · 06/06/2020 14:12

I'm 27 weeks. Feel him move all the time but just don't particularly feel anything about it. No excitement, no will to talk about him. Tried so long to get pregnant so never in a million years I'd feel like this at all.

OP posts:
Natalie654321 · 06/06/2020 14:15

Do you and your partner talk about the baby at all? Do you know the sex?
Do you think it could be that you don't feel like it's real as you had been trying to conceive for a while?

ofwarren · 06/06/2020 14:17

Totally normal.
I never felt attached to my bumps but loved my babies instantly.
I have 3.

LJJ90 · 06/06/2020 14:19

No me and him split at the very beginning of the pregnancy so no longer communicate. Unsure what for what reason it is. I just don't feel great, I've not seen a midwife since the very first appointment at 7 weeks as they've cancelled the 16 and 25 week appointments so don't feel like I want to speak to them really.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 06/06/2020 14:24

Normal. I felt like the scabs could be anything I was watching on tv. Hard to picture that was happening inside me. When she came out I was a bit shocked as it was really happening.
I did take a few weeks to bond but that was due to my MH and breastfeeding problems. I know others that felt the same when pregnant but bonded immediately.

Don’t worry if it goes either way. The worst thing is feeling you are a shit parent or alone in how you feel but I assure you you are not x

LusciousV · 06/06/2020 14:33

I'm due to give birth next week OP and I don't feel particularly connected to my baby to be honest.

The pregnancy was planned and DH and I are excited (and nervous) about becoming parents but I don't have that overly attached feeling I thought I would do.

Saying that, I have no doubt that the minute he is placed in my arms i will fall in love instantly! I think that because, although I can feel him, I can't see him, it makes it seem surreal. It's hard for me to believe that there's a fully formed human being in that big bump 🤯

I wouldn't worry that you're not feeling much emotionally at this point but do speak to your GP if it is concerning you as they can refer you for perinatal counselling to talk through your feelings if you think tha5 would help.

33goingon64 · 06/06/2020 14:37

I didn't feel connected to either of mine til they were born. Don't worry.

anon1389 · 06/06/2020 14:55

I've had the same thing through my pregnancy. Constantly being asked "Do you talk/sing/read/play music to her? Don't you love it when she moves? Aren't you so excited to see her face? Don't you feel you would die for her?" and all I could think was "No... I don't do or feel any of that" and have felt awful because of it. I'm 33 weeks now and still don't feel any particular way about her except the fact that I can't wait to have my body back to myself. I feel a little better when organising her things and I'm doing her nursery but mostly that just fills me with fear! I've asked a lot of mums who have said it's normal so am hoping it ends when she's here.

LivingThatLockdownLife · 06/06/2020 14:59

Normal. Stop overthinking. You will be fine once baby is here.

eandz13 · 06/06/2020 15:10

I've not felt 'connected' to any of my 3 babies whilst they were in the womb. Even at the hospital scans I was 'meh'. Although later 3d scans did excite me somewhat as I'd seen features rather than a black and white silhouette. I dislike pregnancy in general, kicks irritated me towards the end as they got quite uncomfortable. There is a lot of pressure on women to have undying love for someone they've never met who is drawing every ounce of energy and comfort from you. Don't worry, I loved them the moment they were born. It's not unusual.

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