New job & pregnant

[lozpants]

Hi all,

I have my 12 week scan today and I only started my new job on Monday. I chose redundancy from my last job and this pregnancy was unplanned. My boss seems so so lovely however I cannot shake the anxiety of needing to tell her.

Legally I don't have to tell them until September, and my partner says I should leave it until I've been there for at least 6 weeks, but part of me wants to tell them sooner rather than later and do it next week (a week after I started )

I know they can't discriminate or fire me, I'm not on a probation either, but I just can't help but overthink the judgements people may have (I have social anxiety)

I'm working from home currently too so I haven't actually met any of my team or my boss as the interview was done over Skype because of covid, I think it would be easier if I could call her into a meeting room.

Does anyone have any tips on how I should tell or suggestions as to when you think I should tell them?

Thanks in advance xx

I would tell her so that they can plan your replacement. They wont have to pay you maternity pay so cost to them is minimal- except recruitment of your replacement and potential training. Knowing this info will help them plan for your time off much easier.

How long ago did you apply? Did you know you were pregnant when you made the application? Not that it matters but it might help if you could say that you didn't know when you applied or had just found out at interview.

Personally waiting till 12 weeks to tell people is normal and expected. Waiting till 25 weeks isn't and is more likely to make people think you have deliberately hidden it.

Its not the same thing but years ago we found a childminder for our oldest ready for him starting school. I spent all summer settling him in with this lady then he started in the September. 8 weeks later she gave ys a letter saying she was pregnant and starting maternity leave early January (just a week or so after Christmas break).

Now I completely understand she needed the money and wouldn't have wanted to turn down work but she allowed me to spend time settling (my days off work) my child in over a two month period to make sure he would settle in the new environment to then find we had to quickly find a new childminder (not easy as we needed an earlier than normal start so not many childminders liked to start at 7am). Plus we had no opportunity to settle him in as he was now at school.

I felt let down and disappointed that she waited until 25 weeks to tell us.

I started my job at the end of January and I'm 14 weeks now (not quite the same situationbut similar). I told my boss after the scan, because there were plans for going back into the office and I didn't know if it would affect anything for me (so far no expected difference). She was surprised but lovely about it, and was surprised I'd told her so early at 13 and a half weeks. She said most people told work around 16 weeks? I did it over video call so felt more personal and more like a meeting in the office.

I'm sure your boss will understand you'll want a job at this time and as pp says, they won't lose out financially for mat pay. If you're not on probation then I wouldn't worry too much. I felt the sooner I told, the more time they had to plan for replacement/moving things around and I didn't have this huge (lovely) secret looming over me.

Thanks both that's really helpful, she knows I've got a hospital appointment today and has been very reassuring and wished me luck etc, not many people have hospital appointments at the moment within covid so I don't doubt she's put 2+2 together!

I didn't know I was pregnant at the time of interviewing or accepting, I found out a week after I accepted. I think I'll just have to make it very clear it was unplanned and be honest x

Good luck op, hopefully you have a lovely boss who says all the right things.

I wouldn't worry too much about whether she's guessed!

Good luck with your scan. And then tell her when you're ready - that's all you can do really 😊

@dicksplash @RunnerGirl123 thanks both, I think I'll take the plunge and get it over with on Monday. I want to work there long term and have wanted a job there for years so I'd rather tell them sooner than later. Thanks for all of your help xx