Empty sac/MMC support

[Northernsoul90]

Hi, I have been today for an early private scan and was told the sac was measuring at about 8 weeks (which is how far along I thought I was) but nothing could be seen inside. I have been referred to my local hospital and am there in the morning but have to go for the scan alone due to COVID. This was my first pregnancy - I had no major symptoms until 6 weeks and from then have had quite bad sickness (I have even thrown up today). Obviously a miscarriage hasn’t yet been confirmed but I am not holding out much hope as the sac was measuring how far along the pregnancy should have been. It just seems so cruel, my body is still acting as though it is pregnant. I’m not really sure why I am posting - just for any support or similar experiences? I had already told work because of COVID which I am mad at myself for now and feel foolish. Just feeling very hopeless and upset I had just had my 8 week midwife app and booked in for 12 week scan

Oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s especially tough when you will be alone at the scan. I had a miscarriage confirmed on Tuesday (happened the night before). The midwife tbf was lovely. Even though the ultrasound clearly showed I had lost the baby she still tried an internal scan too. All was good at previous scan at 7.5 weeks which made it all the more difficult. It’s not nice at all. I’m annoyed at myself for being ‘too sure’ of the pregnancy and making plans in my head about it; the announcement, when I’d go on maternity leave etc almost like I jinxed it

So sorry to hear that Northernsoul & 1ce1ce, it's really horrid. Especially having to go through it yourself at the hospital :-(

I had a similar experience last year (at 7 weeks), I had also told some people and then felt a bit daft but honestly, no one else sees it like that. I think I told my manager after I found out, after trying to lie about why I was gone for a few hours to keep going to the hospital, which was so silly! I think it's better to tell your work regardless so you get the support you need. Plus, as you say you are still getting pregnancy type symptoms, which in the beginning can be quite tough to deal with quietly!

I had to keep going back to have my hcg levels checked, every 48 hrs so maybe be prepared for that. My levels were reducing but not at the level they would expect (should half every 48 hrs).

I focussed too much then after that on ovulation dates and actually ended up falling pregnant again this January, (4/5 months later) when I had forgotten to check, and worked out I was all wrong with the ovulation dates!! So I guess my only advice would be to try just let nature takes its course and fingers crossed it's not too long until you get the happy news again.

So sorry you’re going through this. I had a similar experience last year, I’d had my booking in appointment and had my 12 week scan booked when I started bleeding at 10 weeks. Had a scan at the EPU which showed an empty sac. I miscarried about a week later. I remember it feeling so so unfair (I’d had a previous MC three months earlier) and I was so cross that my body had taken so long to catch on that it wasn’t a viable pregnancy. Take your time recovering and make sure you are being looked after and are looking after yourself. 3 months later I fell pregnant again and am now 29 weeks, so happy endings are possible.

I’m so sorry you are going through this I experienced a MMC at the end of last year which was detected at my 12 weeks scan although I hadn’t really experienced any pregnancy symptoms (second pregnancy!). It’s such a cruel experience but I promise with time it will get easier and the odds are totally in your favour for going on to have a happy, healthy pregnancy. Be kind to yourself xxx

Thank you everyone for your sharing your experiences, @1ce1cebaby I hope that you are okay I had been the same thinking about maternity dates etc and getting ahead of myself. It seems so unfair having to be alone during the scan, hopefully the staff will be supportive. My sister is also pregnant so we were excited to have babies at a similar time. I keep thinking about having to let my doctor know and cancelling the scan etc, letting work know, the people we had told and all I want to do is hide from it. There is comfort in hearing from others who have had similar experiences and who have gone on to have successful pregnancies. I’m a bit worried about what happens next I’ve been looking online and most people seem to say you can be offered a d and c, medication or let nature take its course. Any advice on this? I’m not sure what would be best.

Hi there, it’s awful that this is happening to you, I’ve had a few of these unfortunately.

Each time the same thing, very strong symptoms, pregnancy carrying on up to 13 weeks sometimes if I waited for nature to take its course.
Medical management helped things along but proved very painful requiring gas and air and morphine in hospital.
I believe that surgical management is quicker and less traumatic.

You do have choices.

I never bothered with HCG levels because I found that they did not give me any helpful information at all, I was miscarrying and I knew I was miscarrying I didn’t need any numbers to tell me what I already knew.

Scans confirmed everything had gone so I could then move on.

I did have babies, eventually, so all good, but a bumpy road to get there.

Oh @Northernsoul90 that makes it so much harder on you that your sister is pregnant too. You should maybe write down any questions you have Incase you just can’t think when you get in - the second person was always good for that. They did tell me I could contact them if I had any questions after as I didn’t hang about. Everyone you tell will be nothing but supportive and will hurt for you but I get it’s not nice having to tell. Or say it out loud. Or in reality life’ good luck today x

I’m so sorry you are going through this.

To answer your question about the d&c, this has happened twice to me and both times I opted for surgical management. For me I found it less traumatic. The procedure doesn’t take long and you are saved from the trauma of seeing everything and the pain. After my op I was taken to my own private room to avoid having to be around any pregnant women and I was really well looked after by the nurses. I was in and out in a day. I also didn’t have much bleeding afterwards. I probably only bleed for 2-3 days, where if you opt to let nature do it’s thing you can bleed for weeks.

The second time it happened things did actually start naturally the night before the d&c. I went to a&e because the pain was unbearable. I was transferred to EPU inpatients and given a lot of morphine for the pain. They kept me in overnight and were still able to do the d&c the following morning, it was such a relief not to be in pain anymore. I would always opt for the d&c but I know others have different experiences to mine and may advise differently.

When I had the first mmc I was pregnant the same time as my sil. I had the second about a week before she gave birth. It felt like such a kick in the teeth. It just felt so unfair that this had happened to me and was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever been through. I felt stupid for thinking I could possibly have a baby, stupid for buying a little toy for my baby when I had an empty sac. I felt like I couldn’t mourn like other women who had miscarriages. The Miscarriage Association helped me process and deal with a lot of these emotions. I highly recommend them.
I’m sharing this with you because I just want to give you some hope. I’m pregnant again and hopefully things are all okay. When I shared my story so many people came to me and said that the exact same thing happened to them and they went on to have healthy children. It’s just no one really ever talks about it, so when it happens to you it feels really lonely.

@northernsoul90 hi, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's a really tough time. I had similar experience last year.
Went for my 13 week scan and had an empty sack, decided to go for the medical management (it didn't work) tried it again and it was so painful, I was in A&E on morphine. Third attempt I went for the D&C and I would definitely recommend this, although I was so scared about GA I would choose this option again if I had to.
Any questions just ask on here, it's good to talk about it xx

I would seriously consider a d&c if you are offered one - I wasn’t, as I had my initial scan and then had to be rescanned a fortnight later just to be sure nothing was developing (which was frustrating as I was so sure on my dates that I knew nothing would have changed). I miscarried naturally within that fortnight and it was horrendous - extremely messy and extremely painful, quite a traumatic experience to go through. I think if I had been offered a d&c then my mental and physical recovery would have been quicker. Obviously comes down to your own personal choice though.

Also, check with your EPU - they contacted the maternity services and my GP for me so I didn’t have to ring them up to cancel appointments.

@mable88 I complete agree. The experience I went through at home hoping it would pass on its own was horrific and traumatic for myself and my husband to witness. I turned down D&C numerous times before choosing the medical management. They take such good care of you in hospital.

Thanks all, I have been offered an MVA under local anaesthetic which I think I am going to go for - I can’t cope with feeling pregnant for another few weeks as I am still suffering with nausea and vomiting and don’t want to prolong the inevitable. The midwives at the hospital confirmed I’d had a blighted ovum so a baby had never really developed although I still feel a major loss. I just want the sack and everything gone now so my body can feel a bit more normal.

@northernsoul90 I had exactly the same, blighted ovum. Horrible term isn't it. Procedure under local wasn't an option with me, maybe they don't do that in Wales I don't know. Hopefully they will get it sorted for you soon and you can start your recovery xx

I'm in a very similar situation. I started spotting brown blood 2 weeks ago so went for an early pregnancy scan today. There they told me they could see the baby but sadly there was no heartbeat. The baby measured at 7+4 weeks which is only a couple of days behind what dates I had (7+6). I too was on my own for this scan (due to COVID) and had to tell my partner over the phone 😔 the nurse was lovely and supportive though and gave me a picture to keep.
I've decided to go for the natural miscarriage due to the fact that the internal scan seems to have brought it on quicker (sorry if TMI). It's definitely not the easiest thing to go through especially hearing the news on your own.

Keep strong!

@Tee0209 So sorry to hear that , it is awful especially at the moment having to be alone in hospital. I am nervous about the procedure really I think it’s the thought of it more than anything else. They have said my husband can come in with me when I have it done so I’m so grateful for that!! I haven’t had any bleeding or cramping at all... people often associate bleeding with miscarriage but for me nothing seems to be happening. Hope you get on okay, best of luck with everything xxx