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Birth plan?

17 replies

Peachy200 · 01/06/2020 10:08

When did you start making a birth plan?

I’m 27 weeks along, a couple weeks ago my SiL asked if I had a birth plan and was shocked to find I hadn’t even started one yet.
Do you normally go through this with your midwife, or are you expected to research and plan it on your own?

As a ftm I don’t understand how I’m meant to plan for something when I have no idea how my body will handle childbirth.
Please tell me I’m not the only one struggling here?

OP posts:
rocknrosie · 01/06/2020 10:10

i'm 24w3d now and i dont have one! all i know is i like the IDEA of a water birth? but as i'm a FTM and havent been able to discuss anything with my MW i'm not sure on the options available to me unfortunately.

so yeah, let me know if you figure anything out and pass it my way.

KittyKat2020 · 01/06/2020 10:11

I did an online antenatal class so I know what my options now are as a FTM. The nhs have a birth plan template online you can use which is really good, I suggest you start there

crazychemist · 01/06/2020 10:15

Pretty sure my midwife brought it up at 28 week appointment when I was expecting DD1. She didn’t expect me to have a plan at that stage, but asked if I had any preferences and if I wanted any information. I was doing an NCT course, so had some ideas already.

If you will have a birthing partner, you don’t need to have anything written down or set in stone as long as you have discussed it with them in detail. My DH was great at representing me when DD1 was born as I couldn’t speak during contractions, but he knew what I wanted so could speak to the midwife on my behalf.

Unless you have a reason to believe you’re going to deliver very early, you really don’t need a plan just yet. And I guess if you do deliver extremely early, it might be very quick so you might not be able to stick to your plan anyway!

F1rstt1imer · 01/06/2020 10:31

I had a rough idea of what I wanted which I’d discussed with DH but didn’t actually right anything in my green notes until after my third sweep. DD turned up 24 hours later 😬

lovelyjubbly12 · 01/06/2020 10:44

Birth plans are usually discussed with you at your 36 week appointment.

They ask you to start thinking about it from 32 weeks ready for that appointment.


Natalie654321 · 01/06/2020 10:46

I didn't have one, that way I couldn't be disappointed. Glad I didn't as I ended up being induced at 38 weeks and had to have an emergency c section... If I had made plans I would have been So disappointed.

Maincat · 01/06/2020 11:12

It doesn't always go to plan, so don't worry. Talk through with your partner what you'd like to a out pain relief ( even if it's just - I'm open to it all!), Where you'd like to try and give birth, and if things afterwards are important to you like delayed cord clamping and skin to skin. My 'plan' was about 5 bullet points. Luke you I didn't know how I'd respond and I was quite happy to take any pain relief offered if I needed it, so that was my plan!

physicskate · 01/06/2020 11:33

My birth plan was more like a list of preferences: if this happens, I might like this. Things like I don't mind getting the injection to deliver placenta.

I had a variety of scenarios on it and my preferences in each scenario, or if I didn't have a preference about something, stated that as well.

afternoontwee · 01/06/2020 11:41

Think about the big things (pain relief, what happens directly after, what you’d like if for example you have to have surgery) and keep it super brief.

I had a 4 page detailed plan for every eventuality. It didn’t make it out of my case because I had a very very fast active stage and had to go into surgery afterwards. In the heat of it all i just wanted baby out soon and safe, and to have skin to skin afterwards! As PP have said, make sure your birth partner knows what you want so they can advocate for you. But maybe also tell them that you reserve the right to change your mind, I was adamant I did not want an epidural and I can distinctly remember shrieking obscenities at my husband when he was asking me ‘now you said you didn’t want one, are you sure you can’t do this on gas and air?’ (no time for one in the end. Wish there had been).

loubert89 · 01/06/2020 11:52

I asked about it at my 28 week appointment and my midwife told me it was entirely up to me if I wanted to make one or not. She said to give it a go using the NHS template and that I can go through it with whoever my midwife is closer to the time.

I have an obstetrician appointment next week and expect some kind of plan from them so will wait until after that before I start planning my preferences.

Spam88 · 01/06/2020 12:19

They go through it at the 36 week appointment here, but really the focus is on making sure you know what birthplaces are available to you (including home birth), informing you about options for third stage and vitamin k, some discussion of pain relief to make sure you know what's available. Delayed cord clamping and skin to skin is standard. You don't need a birth plan but of course if you want one then do it, but equally don't worry if you don't have one. As long as you know where and when you're going when you're in labour, everything else can be decided as you go.

CouscousEvaporator · 01/06/2020 12:24

I’ve written a really really basic idea at 22 weeks. And I’ve prefaced it with “I have no idea really but please remind me of my preferences in the heat of the moment”.

I know I want to try water. I know I want to do as much as I can at home.
The positive birth book had a bunch of stuff in there about vitamin k and cord clamping which was useful so I’ve put that in as well.

I’m super early to do this though and really only did it to empty my head.

Cardboard33 · 01/06/2020 13:23

As has been said it's usually done at your 36 or 38 week appointment, if you get that far. Think of it less like a plan and more like wishes - like who you want to cut the cord, what happens if there's an emergency & you or baby are unwell - where do you want the birth partner to go? How you want the placenta to be delivered etc... Which I didn't even know was a thing. Discuss your wishes with your birth partner so then they can advocate for you if you can't but also tell them even if you've said you don't want pain relief (for example) that you might change your mind and that's ok.

Spam88 · 01/06/2020 18:49

I would add that there's time during/after labour for a lot of these decisions, and even if they're written down they'll still ask you for consent at the time for injections etc.

HT96 · 01/06/2020 18:54

Don't have one, just decide what kind of pain relief / epidural your happy to go with and if you would like a water birth also whether you want skin to skin and to breastfeed or bottle!

Much better to have no expectations so you don't end up disappointed x

Selfsettling3 · 01/06/2020 18:57

I would suggest you buy the positive birth book, it’s amazing and go through the birth plan in that, it helps you think about the choices that you may need to make.

Pinkblueberry · 01/06/2020 19:02

About 34 weeks or so, after the antenatal class on birth. It’s wasn’t much of a plan tbh, I printed out the NHS template which is kind of a box ticking exercise e.g. what position would you like to give birth in, what pain relief etc. and I just ticked ‘not sure’ for most of them. You can be as precise or vague (like me) as you want. With my second I would probably have a more detailed plan based on my previous experience and having a better idea of what I want the same/different - but with the first I didn’t know and just had an open mind.

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