First time fears

[Elenor1010]

Got my BFP during the week and estimate I will be about 5 weeks on Monday.

I just can't get excited about it though, I just have a constant feeling of worry that something will go wrong. I find myself always checking stats online and reading way to into people that have had things go wrong.
To add to it all my husband has got very excited and told my MIL who I suspect will be getting very excited, I understand as if my mum was still with us I would of told her straight away. But with MIL now knowing I now feel more pressure of upsetting her if something goes wrong.
I'm stopped smoking, having as much fruit as physically possible through smoothies and taking my folic acid, is there more I can be doing??

And can I please get some reassurance as every other comment on here is taking about miscarriages and things going wrong.

I think your best bet is to carry on doing what you're doing. I never get excited until after the first trimester at the very earliest because things can and do go wrong. That's not to say that they will, of course- every human being alive today is the result of a pregnancy that went well, and statistically your odds of a live baby are greater than the odds of not getting one.

Miscarriage in the early stages is generally due to catastrophic gene mutations or abnormalities that are incompatible with life- nature's way of sorting out those who'd never survive at the earliest possible stage. If it does happen, it'll be because it was meant to and it wouldn't be in in any way your fault. I hope that brings you some relief from the feeling of responsibility.

I can completely sympathise, I'm coming up to 14 weeks with my first and have only just starting to relax!

My biggest advice would actually be to avoid this forum for a while! It's very skewed towards people who are having issues with their pregnancy as naturally they're the ones needing advice. People having normal uneventful pregnancies have less reason to post. I was so paranoid about miscarriage and every other problem going from reading here. I actually found that when I avoided reading here my anxiety reduced. I promise you you'll feel better for it!

In terms of active anxiety management, I'd suggest exercise, fresh air, limiting yourself to only one hour a day in which to obsess over the pregnancy and apart from that one hour keeping your mind occupied elsewhere.

In terms of what not to do- lay off the alcohol and limit the caffeine. Look at the list of foods and drinks to avoid here: www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/foods-to-avoid-pregnant/

I agree with a PP, tbh having my time again I would avoid forums like this until about 20 weeks! Try to continue to conduct your life as normally as possible, just with a lot more sleep, focus on a healthy diet and continue exercise if you already do it. Nothing really up til 12 weeks is in your control, and nothing really happens between 12 and 20. Once you have your 20 week scan and baby starts wriggling, that's the good stuff. Congrats!

I totally get where you are coming from. I’m very early on (due Feb 2021) and feel so scared. The current coronavirus crisis certainly doesn’t help but I can only echo what everyone else has said. Avoid the negative threads, do all the things you know you should be doing and try and be as kind to yourself as possible. You’ve got this.