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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Are you meeting people in gardens for bbqs?

36 replies

pinkflamingo561 · 29/05/2020 22:02

What are you doing re seeing people?

FIL wants us to go round and have dinner in their garden on Sunday. DH said no, but he's agreed we'll go round for tea and cake (even though we shouldn't til Monday)! I think they think we're being funny about it.

I'm not sure I even want to drink tea or eat cake from their crockery. I don't know if I'm being paranoid re sharing cups etc. I feel like they'll think I'm being funny / rude if I don't want to eat or drink anything.

We have both been wfh and had all shopping picked up or dropped off. DH has been to tiny corner shop twice for essentials. FIL and MIL have been wfh but have started to play singles tennis with others and have started to drink with others in their gardens.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lockdownpregnancy · 29/05/2020 22:16

Hi OP. Me and DH haven't been near anyone for 11 weeks. I'll be arranging to see family and friends from next week but I won't be using their crockery, cups etc. I'll bring my own water bottle with my drink already in it and I'll be eating before I/we go anywhere.
I've been to Sainsbury's twice in 11 weeks and saw my mom about 4 times but all from a distance.
Whilst I'm very much looking forward to seeing other people I'm also like you and a little paranoid about eating and drinking with them. I won't be doing that for a while.
Your in laws should understand why you're being overly cautious. You are pregnant after all!

thosethreewords · 29/05/2020 22:16

I'm 37 weeks and only going over to my parents in a few weeks for a sit in their garden because I need to drop our dog off before my ELCS. Otherwise, no! I think there's too many people bending the rules and I don't want to risk getting unwell (or DH getting unwell) so close to eviction day.

Original poster

pinkflamingo561 · 29/05/2020 22:36

Yea that's what I thought. I think I'll take a drink with me and ensure we keep our distance :)

OP posts:

Spillinteas · 29/05/2020 22:53

I’ve been sat in my best friends garden today. We’ve not seen each other for months and really needed to see each other.

I took a little picnic for myself and sat away from her and we really bloody enjoyed it. I drove home feeling much better.

BlackAndWhiteCat01 · 29/05/2020 22:56

In Scotland we have been told to take our own cutlery etc on visits.

As for having dinner in their garden, is it far from home? You can’t enter their home and use their bathroom so it might be worth considering that while pregnant!

curtainsforme · 29/05/2020 22:59

I'm not no. But it's not the kind of thing I would have done before either.

Just tell them you will bring the cake. Carry a drink and don't have tea/coffe

Original poster

pinkflamingo561 · 29/05/2020 23:06

Yea I definitely wouldn't have problems doing that, it's using their stuff I worry about

OP posts:

userxx · 29/05/2020 23:12

Yes I'm at a bbq on Sunday and yes I'll be using their plates etc.

EllieJai44 · 29/05/2020 23:31

I've been seeing my parents as normal through it all but mainly because I work for them so I have to when the business is still running (small family business) but we are seeing my husbands grandparents tomorrow for a small BBQ and will be using their stuff (they basically raised him so are like his version of parents)

Other than those people we are not planning on seeing other people even at distance

sestras · 29/05/2020 23:44

I would but I pee a lot and couldn't hold it until I got home, that's the only reason I'm avoiding everyone still until I can use toilets in the house I'm visiting.

CountessFrog · 29/05/2020 23:48

We will look back on these posts and think we had gone crazy.

People who have not seen people for months.

I’m happy to have visitors in the garden. I’ll ask them to use my downstairs loo. Ill clean it before\after. I’ll wash wine bottles and glasses with hot water/washing up liquid. I’ll wash my hands and disinfect garden tables.

It’s enough. We honestly need to get a grip.

Pipandmum · 29/05/2020 23:55

Why not use their crockery? Do you think they have spat on it? I really don't get this level of paranoia.

PerspicaciaTick · 30/05/2020 00:03

No. Can't be bothered with haring about socialising madly, I wouldn't normally and see no reason to act any differently just because I'm allowed to.

TimeWastingButFun · 30/05/2020 00:33

Yes, from Monday. We have a separate bathroom not in the main house that we can let them use, which we'll avoid for a few days afterwards. We'll definitely keep to the distancing rules, and any crockery and cutlery will go in a super hot wash in the dishwasher. I think you just have to think about it carefully and see what you can do to make it work - or not do it, if it can't.

ineedaholidaynow · 30/05/2020 00:43

I think the medical chap at the press briefing said be careful of what you touch if having BBQs etc. So people shouldn’t be passing you plates, glasses etc. Also the reason why they are advising you not to go into the house to use the loo unless you really need to.

I suppose the issue is you can wash your hands before you eat but if the other person has contaminated the surface of the plate you then pick up and usually with BBQs you tend to eat some of the food with fingers you could potentially pick up the virus.

LunaLula83 · 30/05/2020 01:33

Yup. A couple of days won't make a difference. My neighbours have broken the rules for weeks. My brothers kids live between two houses and their mother is a hospital cleaner! Ive had enough. Its all a farce. I'm done.

Moonshinemisses · 30/05/2020 01:41

Yes, my sister & her family are coming over on sunday. They have been home for the duration, working from home , on line shopping & just going out to walk the dog for exercise. Me & Dh have been tested for work and both got a negative. We are intelligent, sensible adults we have assessed the risk and believe it to be minimal.

MyBlueMoonbeam · 30/05/2020 02:49

Why not use their crockery? Do you think they have spat on it? I really don't get this level of paranoia.

This 🙄

MrsAvocet · 30/05/2020 03:08

We have been invited to visit friends on Monday. We are taking our own food and we will have a picnic in their beautiful big garden. I'm looking forward to it but admit to feeling a bit weird about seeing people again. Apart from a couple of hospital appointments I haven't had any interaction with anyone besides my husband and children since lockdown began.

SquigglyOne · 30/05/2020 04:54

Not currently pregnant but have a nearly 5 month old DS.
I really think this level of paranoia is unhealthy. Pre covid no one worried about attending bbqs/picnics etc and didn’t have a second thought about using someone else’s crockery but there were still other harmful viruses around! Think of all the ladies who don’t get a flu vaccine during pregnancy (not that I agree with this) I’m sure they didn’t self isolate in fear of catching the flu.
As a long term sufferer of anxiety I 100% get it but I’ve got to the point now where I’ve had to let it go for my own sanity. So yes - I will be attending small outdoor gatherings and bringing baby along.
I guess it just comes down to making your own judgement. Myself and DH have weighed up the risks and decided it’s safe enough to see close family - at a 2m distance of course! We also feel that our baby not being able to see other people for half of his entire life is extremely sad. I always wanted to be the type of parent who would hand my baby round for everyone to have a cuddle in an attempt to prevent clingyness but of course this has been impossible ☹️

Umberta · 30/05/2020 05:51

I agree with ppl who say let's not be paranoid.
If you look up the stats of how many people have it in your area, you'll see how low it is. I'm in south london and the proportion of people with known covid in my borough is 0.4% (and that's one of the highest in the country). I get that there will be a significant number of unknown cases but the percentage of the population is still low. The people who have had it (and are perhaps now immune) is closer to 16-20%. The chance of me catching it from one of the few friends I might meet at a bbq, especially if I keep my distance, is extremely low. You're still much more likely to catch it by breathing in spluttered droplets by standing too close than from a warm, wet surface like a clean bbq plate (most hostile kind of surface to the virus). Add to this, that there's still no evidence of covid being particularly harmful to pregnant women.
Having said all this, I personally haven't been invited to a bbq yet! Haha but I want to.

LusciousV · 30/05/2020 08:02

I'm 37+4 and DH and I went to my parents yesterday. They had a BBQ but I took my own packed lunch and drink as well as a camping toilet (portapotty thing) to put in the garage so I didn't have to go in the house. We sat 2m apart in the garden and had a great day in the sun.

It's the first time we've spent any time with them for almost 3 months. I don't care if I seem paranoid, I didn't stay at home for 11 weeks only to risk catching the virus now, 2 weeks before D-Day. I felt comfortable with the measures I took to protect myself and enjoyed my day as a result.

Each to their own.

Sipperskipper · 30/05/2020 08:13

I’m 27 weeks and will be having a BBQ with friends next week (in our garden). Will keep a distance, wash our hands etc, but we really all want to see each other (and our kids!).

Pleasenodont · 30/05/2020 10:35

No, I’m 32 weeks and I haven’t left the house for ten weeks. I’m not going near another soul if I can avoid it, far too risky at this stage.

Dollywilde · 30/05/2020 10:54

29 weeks and absolutely. Agree with PP’s comments re spitting on cups 😂

Each to their own and tbh I probably wouldn’t if I were 37 weeks+ (DH and I are consider self isolating from then on to be on the safe side with delivery) but I’ll be in my friend’s garden, 2 meters from her on Sunday. We’ll be bbqing and I’ll use her downstairs loo which she’s going to disinfect and keep for mine and DH’s use only (she and her partner will use upstairs). Lots of hand washing as is now usual and no touching my face. I’m happy with that. These are my last few child free weeks damn it, I’m going to make the most of them even if I’m at a 6 foot distance from my friends and drinking squash

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