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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

12 week scan tomorrow and petrified

42 replies

RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 08:53

Hello.

I've got my dating scan tomorrow when I'll be 12+3 based on an early scan I had that dated me at 6+1.

This pregnancy is a total miracle. I conceived while on HRT for early menopause following four years of infertility, failed IVF and donor IVF egg and starting to come to terms with the fact that at 31, my husband and I would never have a child.

I've had loads of symptoms, still do have some, and haven't had any bleeding or worrying signs, but I'm terrified of getting bad news tomorrow morning, not just because of what it will mean but also because if COVID, having to relay the news to my husband myself because he can't be at the scan.

I know noone can guarantee things will be ok tomorrow, but just looking for a bit of support to get me through what I think is going to be a very long day!

OP posts:
Spied · 28/05/2020 09:07

Well, all the signs look positive. Even women who have had bleeding etc often still go on to have a healthy baby and as you have had nothing like that then that's even more pointing towards positivity.
Your fear is based on the past and the disappointment you have felt which is understandable but you now need to look to the future.
Worrying about what tomorrow brings will not change what happens. Ruminating about situations and scenarios in your head doesn't change anything.
You've a good chance that everything is fine.
If anything is wrong then you will cope. You have done in the past.

Congratulations. I look forward to the update!

lockdownpregnancy · 28/05/2020 09:08

Awwwww OP well firstly massive congratulations!
I know it's super hard but do try and relax if you can. If you've been getting symptoms and you're not bleeding then the chances are that everything is fine and your little one is snug as bug in your belly 🥰
I had some major anxiety a few days before my 12 week scan. Panic attacks, insomnia, sobbing uncontrollably through pure fear something was wrong and terrified I'd catch Covid-19 and wouldn't be able to get to my scan.
Thankfully everything went well for me and I'm now 22 weeks 😁
Meditation and some pregnancy yoga is always a good one to calm your mind. Go for a nice walk with your DP or your dog if you have one. Just do something to try and take your mind off the worry and pass the time.
I really do know how you feel with the waiting part, but I didn't struggle like yourself to get pregnant, so I can imagine the added worry you feel.
Nature has some funny ways and I'm sure all will be well! Let us know how you get on 👍🏻

Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 09:28

@Spied thanks for the brisk pep talk! It helps to be reminded life goes on one way or another, and fear of the unknown won't change the outcome. We've been coping well and enjoying chatting about it as if it's going to be fine, I think the nerves set it when they moved my scan from last Thursday to this Friday, and I'd psyched myself up for knowing and then suddenly had another week to wait it out! Probably also the knowledge that if all is well, we're going into a huge adventure/change that we had really put to bed, so unpacking all those thoughts and hopes feels like a dream!

OP posts:
Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 09:37

@lockdownpregnancy thank you. I've been keeping up with my yoga classes (my teacher knows I'm pregnant) except this week when I fell asleep for half of it on my yoga matt, thank good for virtual classes!

I feel like I've let myself get attached and then it's hard to ground yourself, but it's a long time to be pregnant in secret and not let yourself get excited, anxiousness aside. I think lack of contact with any midwives etc (apart from booking in phone call) also makes it feel quite isolating. Not that I expected coddling, obviously for them it's their job and they see it everyday.

OP posts:
Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 09:38

Oh and congratulations on your pregnancy!

OP posts:
RunnerGirl123 · 28/05/2020 09:38

Hi OP, sorry you're feeling so anxious. I agree with the previous posts that the likelihood is that everything will be OK, and you've had all the right signs.
I had my scan yesterday and the sonographer was absolutely lovely and had taken the time to read my history before seeing me, meaning she could let me know what to expect and that she knew I'd want to get started quickly to know everything is OK. I'm not sure if this is because we're going on our own at the moment or if it's what she usually does but it instantly put me at ease.

Try to distract yourself as much as you can today and relax where you can. What time is your scan tomorrow?

Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 10:02

@RunnerGirl123 I'm glad it went well such good news!

I'm definitely going to ask for the sonographer to tell me as quickly as possible if there's still a heartbeat. I feel like I'll be able to breathe out a bit then if there is and let them get on with everything else. Scan is at 10.45 so at least I don't have to wait all day. DH is doing his usual obsessing over work yesterday and today because he's nervous and it just feels even more lonely.

At least tomorrow marks a new phase one way or the other. The limbo is the worst bit in a way!

OP posts:
Colouringinbook · 28/05/2020 11:08

I've had mine this morning and it was fine - I'd say it was better than when I went with my DH last time! Sonographer was really quick, showed me the heart beat and all of baby straight away.

Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 11:11

That's reassuring @Colouringinbook and congratulations!

They were so nice when I had my early scan at 6+1 and all was well, even though I was expecting another ectopic or just nothing at all. I guess some of it is just belief that after everything there's a good chance I could have a baby at the end of this!

OP posts:
zscaler · 28/05/2020 12:48

I completely understand OP - my scan is in a week and I have very similar fears.

I keep reassuring myself that to have a miscarriage with no signs whatsoever is incredibly rare, so the odds are massively on your side!

Hopefully tomorrow you’ll have a scan of your beautiful bab and be feeling a lot happier Flowers

MsFrog · 28/05/2020 12:58

It's so hard being pregnant after fertility issues, as PPs have said, it's understandable you're so anxious given your history and can't wrap your head around the idea that you'll actually have a baby. Not long to wait now until you know, I'll cross my fingers for you xx

India999 · 28/05/2020 13:03

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Enjoy seeing your baby tomorrow!

It's really scary and I can't imagine what you must be going through having already been through so much to get where you are. One thing that really helped me "let go" of anxieties was realising, and coming to terms with the fact, that so much is out of your control, and I'll be worrying about my child for years and years! It doesn't stop when they're born! So enjoy it as much as you can. Thoughts are with you!

Sleepyquest · 28/05/2020 13:06

I have everything crossed for you and think you are going to be fine Smile good luck and let us know!

Hannahbobs · 28/05/2020 14:45

Congratulations and good luck tomorrow! I also have my 12 week scan tomorrow at 12+2. Feeling nervous for all the reasons you outlined, and not having my husband by my side. But also how I'm going to get my bladder full for an 8am scan Grin

Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 15:17

Thanks everyone for all your understanding. So nice to have some support ahead of tomorrow (even though I know most likely it will be fine).

@zscaler you're absolutely right, and I really hope the next week flies by for you for your scan.

@hannahbobs good luck to you tomorrow. Please update! Mine's at 10.45 so bigger problem will be trying not to be absolutely desperate to go to the loo/not be dehydrated!

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justkeeprunning5 · 28/05/2020 16:46

Hi OP. You have had some excellent advice here. Just to reassure you that I think everyone feels nervous before their 12 week (and any subsequent!) scans. I was the same as you, petrified that something had gone wrong despite nothing to indicate that, aside from a tiny bit of early spotting. Mine is an IVF pregnancy so the stakes were high here too but all was fine.

My place had a screen for me to look at and they also played the heartbeat to me as soon as they stated scanning me so I knew that was ok. Hopefully the same for you and you can take a deep breath and let them get on with the remainder of the scan.

Sending you all best wishes for tomorrow morning.

lc86 · 28/05/2020 19:42

Aww good luck for tomorrow, your story is amazing! ❤️ it's normal to feel how you're feeling, so don't be too hard on yourself xx

Original poster
RestorationInsanity · 28/05/2020 21:39

Thanks ladies. Not too long to go now. Hoping I can have a good night's sleep, I'll keep you posted tomorrow. Just want to get it over with now.

@justkeeprunning5 congratulations on your pregnancy. You must be so delighted.

@lc86 thank you. I'm still in disbelief to be honest! X

OP posts:
Waitingforbilly · 29/05/2020 04:47

Wow, what a journey you have been on, best of luck for your scan tomorrow, try your best not to worry and enjoy seeing your little miracle, sending positive thoughts your way x

DerbyshireGirly · 29/05/2020 05:27

Good luck for today, I'm sure you'll be fine and able to look back on this as a lovely day.

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 29/05/2020 06:37

Good luck for today OP. What a journey you have been on!!

MsFrog · 29/05/2020 07:26

Good luck OP, thinking of you this morning Flowers

stairgates · 29/05/2020 08:36

Good luck today! Post a pic so we can have a guess for you :)

lockdownpregnancy · 29/05/2020 08:59

Good luck today OP! 💐

EarlGreyT · 29/05/2020 09:23

Good luck. Fingers are crossed for you here.

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