How old is too old for a baby?

[Whoknows38]

I’ve had a long term relationship with no child Although we did try ivf with a donor (ex partner had no sperm) I have a 16 year old (With ex hubby). I am broody (we had been trying for 8 years) and in a relationship but it’s new and I’m not over my heartbreak as yet. I really want another baby though. Is this selfish / too risky. I’m 42 and in good health

No such thing as simply "too old" to be a mum. It depends on so many individual factors. In your shoes I would go for it, if you want to

My mum had me when she was 36, my mil had dh when she was 26- looking at them now I'd say my mum, despite ten years older, was and still is a lot healthier, has more energy and gumption and is younger at heart than my mother in law (who is lovely btw) so it can depend on the person- exciting times for you if you decided to go for it!!

I think it depends on the individual. I know 45 year olds who are fitter, and healthier than a lot of 20/30 year olds. xxx

My dad was 45 when I was born. My mum was younger but she died when I was a child. It’s been hell having a older parent, I’m 40 now and he’s 85. I’m an only child and I’ve not really had a life as an adult having to care for him.

Saying that I’m 40 and pregnant with my 3rd. I was 22 and 33 with the others.

My husband is 5 years younger than me (which is a bit of a red herring seeing as my mum was 10 years younger than my dad and died 30 years ago), and this one won’t be an only child. And I would never burden my child and emotionally blackmail them the way my dad has done with me.

But it was something I struggled with and still do.

Gosh this is a tricky one, every case is different. Im 38 and expecting my first child. I may or may not have one further child at around 40. My partner is several years younger than me.

My mum had me at 43, which was very rare back then. She was noticeable older than the other mums and was outside of social circles when i was little and at school. Id go out places and people would think she was my grandma. Its much more common nowadays so i dont think this will happen to me with my child.

My mum is 81 now and i pretty much gave up my life (social, career etc) some years ago to look after her. She has Alzheimers so i do a lot for her.

I probably should of had kids earlier in life but i didnt meet my OH until 4 years ago and i was quite immature and enjoying single city life to be honest. Time flies and age creeps up on you!

The main regret i have for not having kids younger is now i have no family support, I know my mum would of helped me if it was 10 or 15 years ago. Also I have the added stress of how to look after both my mum and a newborn without any help (OH is a contractor so wont be taking much time off).

I had my first at 43 and I am considering another one next year at 46.
My parents had me young, but my mum has now been fighting cancer for more than 10 years and my dad was diagnosed with diabetes 20 years ago.
My inlaws are much older but in great shape.
I am lucky I look much much younger and same my OH, and we feel we have the same energy level as when we were much younger. No health issues.
But my reason for wanting another one is also (not only) to give a sibling to my first one, so that he will not have to worry about his elderly parents alone (not that I want him to - we have every intention of looking after ourselves and I absolutely don't want him to care for us etc. But he will worry anyway and there is an increased risk he will lose us sooner than others, so it would be nice to have more family around).

My partners mum had 2 more children at 39 and 40, she had absolutely no trouble conceiving, and that was after she had a sterilisation reversal, and my dad had another at 42, but him and his partner had to go down the ivf route due to my dads partner having cancer in the past. I'd say go for it, I was 21 when my sister was born and I love her to pieces!

I think the far side of 40 in my opinion, let’s say 47. I think 45 or 46 would be pushing it. I personally can’t imagine I would get pregnant at 40+, but if I didn’t have children already at that age I would probably think differently.

I've always said that you should finish having your DC by 40.

Until you hit the menopause.

I had my LO at 43. I come from a large family though, so I have nephews and nieces aged from 32 to 3. I also have 2 sisters who had their children older than me. (Which includes a set of twins.) My LO won't be the youngest cousin as some of my younger siblings haven't had children yet.

My parents are dead but even if I had a child/children younger they would have refused to help. As far as they are concerned your siblings and their children are the ones to help you and vice versa. (I'm also a great aunt.)

I had my 1st at 31 although they sadly passed away I then had #2 at 32 #3 at 33 although not far off 34. I am now pregnant with an completely accidental (double contraception failure!) #4 at 37 I feel old. I am very aware that when this baby is 23 and finishing uni I'll be 60, to me that seems old as my mum is only 64 and I'm 37. I'm also aware that risks for things like T21 are higher now. On the flip side my Grandad is still alive and in really good health at 96 and both my maternal and paternal Grandmas only passed away in the last 4 years so they all lived to meet at least one of their great grandchildren.

I had my last at 42, not long after I turned 42.
Total cut-off though? I would have my last delivery by 43. No later.

By the way, I don't quite understand your OP. Is your relationship new? And what heartache are you not over? Is it the loss of not having had another child or is it the previous relationship you're mourning?

I'm 42 and currently 9+4 weeks preggers baby due 1st Jan. fell pregnant first try!
Go for it. Unfortunately at our age we haven't got time to think about it too long!
Good luck

41 was my cut off and I stopped trying for dc3 then after a few miscarriages. And then, unexpectedly at 44 along came dc3! It took a while to get my head around it as i just felt too old to be having a baby. But actually it all went so well. I am struggling with a toddler at 47, but that's partly because my older 2 are older with different needs and I'm simply a bit done with role play and mess. But that's also lock down....

I’m 34 and my partner is 44, I’m currently 4 weeks. We’ll be 35 and 45 when our first arrives (all being well) I do often think about the age he’ll be when our child(ren) will be 10/20/30 etc, but he’s fitter than me, he doesn’t look his age and he certainly doesn’t act it 😂 I know he’ll be a wonderful, fun, loving father and I hope we all have many years together