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Pregnancy

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Original poster

How much power do social services have over an unborn baby?

23 replies

katycake11 · 26/05/2020 20:36

when I was 5 months pregnant, my partner took some medication for his anxiety (xanax) that caused an episode of psychosis. He didnt know who I was or who he was, my friend rang the police as she freaked out and so naturally this series of events spun into a referral to social services for our baby as the xanax were unprescribed, which meant that it was a class C controlled substance in the eyes of the law. Now as messy as this situation was, since then we have gotten ourselves established in a lovely area with a two bedroom house, he is no longer touching any medication that can have this effect and things are going very well with support from both our families, our baby's nursery all kitted out etc. However, social services seem to want to be heavily involved, they do not even want to allow my partner at my birth. How much legal power do they actually have regarding my birth and child? No harm has ever or will ever come to him.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 26/05/2020 20:43

They have a great deal of power if they feel they need it.
How long has your “partner” been clean for?

Idododoidadada · 26/05/2020 20:51

Your partner was using Xanax as a recreational drug, buying from people (dealers) as he wasn’t prescribed it yet your worry is about SS wanting to be involved?!
No one with actual anxiety, who could get suitable medication from a GP cheaper per tablet on prescription, would buy Xanax for it on the street. You should let SS do everything they need to do so that they can assess you and the children are safe. If they see everything is fine they will begin to step back.

SistemaAddict · 26/05/2020 22:43

Sounds like they are t convinced this was a one off event or one that wouldn't potentially cause long term issues. My exH has been abusive to our dc but SS have said every time that the abuse doesn't meet the threshold for their involvement. Is your partner telling you everything here? Is there more to his past than you know about? How long have you known him? Lots of people suffer anxiety, myself included, but most people contact their GP rather than go out and score drugs off the street.

Mischance · 26/05/2020 22:49

They would be failing in their duty if they did not seek to protect your child. You cannot expect them to ignore this.

Cinderella66 · 26/05/2020 22:51

How much power do they have? If they believe the child is at risk they can make an ex parte (without your knowledge) application to court for an interim order to remove the child from you the day it is born. You need to follow what the ss are telling you, and that may mean removing your partner from your life or losing the child. You cannot say that no harm will come to your child, that is not within your power.

LovingLola · 26/05/2020 23:08

Do what they ask.

empireants · 26/05/2020 23:14

Children's Services role is to protect children from harm so, if they think your child is at risk, they can issue care proceedings. However, they'd only do this if the situation was very serious or if you'd repeatedly failed to engage with support. The best thing you can do is work with them, be open and honest and take on board what they recommend. They just want the best for your child, as I'm sure you do.

FthisS · 26/05/2020 23:39

You need to really engage and listen to what they are saying. It could come down to him or the baby, regardless to you telling them he poses no harm. They will want to see how willing you are to show them that you will always put the child first.,

TitianaTitsling · 26/05/2020 23:41

A lovely house and nice things do not mean a child is protected and safe.

LilyMarshall · 26/05/2020 23:41

It sounds like you dont recognise your Do has a problem. Or you dont want to see it.

They are right to be involved.

CoachBombay · 26/05/2020 23:52

They have the power to remove a child at birth, that's how much, immediately in to a foster care placement.

Listen to what they are saying, take their advice, and work on any issues they bring to light.

TitianaTitsling · 27/05/2020 00:02

What's your 'd' p saying about the friend who was concerned? Do you still see her?

YummiestBut · 27/05/2020 00:34

I'm a Social worker and have worked in a hospital team where we dealt accidental injuries and w
unborn babies. We have a lot of power, although ultimately decisions are down to the court.

I'd suggest that you comply with an intervention.

OurChristmasMiracle · 27/05/2020 08:17

First of all has your unborn been placed on an child in need or a child protection plan? Child in need is less serious but can be stepped up to child protection. Failing to engage with child protection plans is likely to lead to court proceedings being issued to take the child into care.

If they believe the child is in immediate danger they can get a 72hour police protection order.

I also think social services would be concerned there your partner chose to go to a dealer rather than his doctor to get help with his anxiety which resulted in a psychotic episode- there is no guarantee this will not happen again. Has your partner received medical care for his anxiety? Is he engaging with professionals?

walkingchuckydoll · 27/05/2020 08:28

How much legal power do they actually have regarding my birth and child?

If they feel that you wre underestimating or minimising his problem (which you are by the way) they can question your ability to keep the baby safe. If they feel that your baby is in danger they can take it away right from birth (or after). You need to open your eyes, engage with them and do everything they ask. You need to take this very seriously. Your partner took drugs all of two seconds ago and you just sound annoyed that they want to be involved. You should be asking yourself if you want your baby to grow up in a house with drugs present. Not taking drugs for a short while does nit mean that he is over it. This is not over yet.

TinySleepThief · 27/05/2020 08:34

Just echoing what others have said. The reason they will appear so keen to be involved is because you are minimising what happened. A nice house and decorated nursery means nothing to them. In their eyes your partner was buying drugs which led to erratic behaviour and which could have put the baby in danger and you appear to not have a problem with him doing so.

Teaandbiscuitsallday · 27/05/2020 08:44

Wise up! Sorry but if he's using Xanax ! Anxiety! Pff! Chances are there's a whole load of stuff he hasn't told you! Do you even know him properly?! My ex had a psychotic episode while I was pregnant. He said it was anxiety too. It was diazepam and God knows what else from the internet. I want to leave him then. Things did not end well. He hid a lot of things from me. I hope you get out of the relationship or take a break to force him to come clean. Good luck!

Sirzy · 27/05/2020 08:48

The problem is this has all only taken place in the last 4 months so obviously SS will want to keep an eye on things. It’s a big step from taking drugs illegally to being in a stable drug free position, obviously having a baby is going to throw even more confusion into the mix for everyone so it’s right they monitor.

You need to work with them not against them. You need to show that the safety of the baby is top priority even if that means your partner having to take a step back in the short term while he gets himself properly sorted

itsanotherdayinparadise · 27/05/2020 09:12

Op you said in your other post that both you and your husband worked in the same office and have both lost your jobs. There must have been a good reason for this. Is there more to the story?
I know you are extremely worried, and I feel for you, but you must do everything that your social work team ask, and cooperate fully

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 27/05/2020 09:19

A lot. You are enabling / minimising what he has done. Assuming you are 9 months pregnant -less than 4 months ago your partner was taking drugs. If your partner had attacked you 4 months ago -you might not be here. I'd be going it alone for the moment -move in my parents etc and comply. The risk is real to you and your baby. Never mind there is more to this than meets the eye? What is your MH like? his? what is the medical history of both of you? -you need to comply and ask them what you need to do to ensure you and your baby are safe. I knew a case of DV where the mother insisted on minimising her partner's abuse she lost the baby to SS -as she couldn't see the issue. He would never hurt baby -only her. etc

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/05/2020 09:22

he is no longer touching any medication that can have this effect

But he is touching other medication? Unprescribed medication?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 27/05/2020 09:23

It has been no time at all between him taking illegal drugs and now.

You cannot possibly say that your child will come to no harm. Your partner didn't know who he was, or who you were, absolutely anything could happen if he does it again.

You are minimising what happened, and this will be a huge concern. Social services will note that your judgement is skewed and therefore your child will be at risk, one parent who takes drugs illegally, and another who cannot risk assess a situation properly.

They are able to take a baby at birth.

In all honesty, in your position, I would get rid of your partner, make sure he attends counselling, and complies with everything social services says, and take him back again when he is totally drug free, and social services are happy with the situation.

Social work are there to help, they want your baby to stay with you, you just need to work with them.

EarlGreyT · 27/05/2020 09:39

This must be all recent if it happened when you were 5 months pregnant and your baby is still unborn. SS can have a lot of power over the unborn baby where they deem this necessary eg if they think there is significant risk of harm to the unborn child.

I agree with the PP who said you are minimising this. the xanax were unprescribed, which meant that it was a class C controlled substance in the eyes of the law. that’s because it is a controlled substance not just “in the eyes of the law” which is a completely minimising statement. Your partner is (was) abusing benzodiazepines which are addictive, tolerance forming drugs.

You seem annoyed that SS want to be involved-if there wasn’t good reason for it, they wouldn’t want to be involved. The fact that they don’t want your partner to be present at the birth to me suggests they have very serious concerns about the wellbeing of your baby and that there is far more to this story than you are telling us.

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