How did you know you were ready for #2

[iloveyoubutilovememore]

How did you know you was ready for your second child?

I have a little boy who will be three next month. Pregnancy was a breeze, followed by a traumatic birth and a bad bout of postnatal depression. Motherhood didn’t come easily to me, the first year in particular was brutal. My husband was amazing and is a fantastic dad. I also have a lovely mum and some great friends who helped me overcome the pnd/adjust to my new life.

I find myself feeling broody at times, thinking of how nice it would be for my DS to have a little sibling. But then I get overwhelmed with anxiety at the thought of having a newborn again, or struggling to cope with another child. I also find myself questioning whether I only want another just for my son to have a little friend.

Would love to hear how you found having the second one, regardless of the age gap.

Thanks!

Hi,

I had an easy pregnancy and a traumatic birth and baby was not a good sleeper for at least 7 months. It was gruelling. I always thought I would have 3 or 4 children and have them 1 to 2 years apart.

Now my son is 3.5 and I'm about to give birth to my second son. I know this will be the last. Firstly I had to somewhat get over the birth experience just by taking about about it. Secondly I wanted to wait until I could afford first son to go to nursery at least for some of the time while ill be on mat leave with second. The thought of looking after two fulltime with the sleepless nights is out of the question for me. So now my son has the 30 "free" hours so I can afford him to go to users 2.5 days a week while I'm on mat leave.

Thirdly I went back to work when son was 1 year old and started a new career this somehow made me feel ready for a second baby as I sort of found myself again and I know I can return to it. I found parenting soooo much easier when I was working part time because the novelty of seeing him never wore off and I cherished my time with him so it no longer felt like work.

I'm still coming to terms with the fact that there's not a smaller age gap just because its what I've imagined for so long but I absolutely know this is the only way it could have worked for me.

I also had nhs counselling in the run up to the second birth which helped me get over the traumatic first birth.

I'm sure you will work out whats best for you and your family. Best wishes.

I have been ready for a second DC for years. I had DD1 at 19 (unplanned pregnancy). After she was born, I finished my degree and wanted to have bought a house and be married and have a stable job before having DC2. DD was 4 (nearly 5) when DH and I got married and we started TTC the following month. It took a year and I’m now 23 weeks pregnant with DD2. DD1 will be 6 (nearly 7) when this baby is born.

I have wanted DC2 since DD was about 3 but there were things we wanted to do first to make sure we were in a good position ourselves.

I think I just always knew I’d like a 2/3 year gap. That’s the gap between me and my sibling and I just followed suit. My second was born 2 and half years after their brother. I had a big gap between my then youngest and their sibling (7years) and have to say it’s a lovely age gap. Really special in someways. Then I fell pregnant when they were 5 months old so had a 13 month gap. That was hard work but equally it’s lovely now. They are both really close and play well together. I guess there’s no right answer, just when you are ready.
My first pregnancy was horrific with morning sickness throughout, I was induced 4 times over a week and then finally gave birth on day 5, I then haemorrhaged. It was terrifying and although I Enjoyed my second pregnancy it was always at the back of my mind especially the closer I got to the birth. Number 2 was my favourite of the 4 births, I felt ‘off’ and lay down after dinner, landline rang at 8.45pm so I got up to answer it and my waters broke, drove to hospital and I was 7cm dilated. Was pushing 2hrs later. It did end in a csection but was very relaxed and I wasn’t scared at all. Although I haven’t experienced postnatal depression I just wanted to reassure you that every birth and baby is different and if you do go through what you went through with your first you know you can get through it and that you have a good network around you :) it’s lovely watching your children together and I’d say go for it x