First time Pregnancy in lockdown feel so alone

[Duffy23]

Hi all

Sorry in advance for the long post. In due my first baby in August. Me and my OH are over the moon .

We had just saved enough money for a beautiful house before lockdown & were in the process of buying it. However 2 weeks into lockdown I was made redundant and no we wont get our mortgage.

A few days after that a friend of mine commited suicide. We couldn't even say goodbye to her properly & it broke my heart.

A few weeks after that I had a bleed and it was because my placenta is low. It was absolutely terrifying to go to the hospital on my own as my OH wasn't allowed in because of the virus.

Here in Ireland we are in lockdown for almost 11 weeks now and I feel so lonely. I really miss my family and friends and feel so guilty that I am not enjoying the pregnancy. My OH works long hours so I often spend days on my own and because of my placenta being low I'm afraid to do much.
I have always been close to my parents but had a much closer relationship with my grandmother and I hate not seeing her. My mum and I are very different people and she has always had a closer relationship with my sister . It's only the last few weeks that I envy the relationship they have.

Sorry for the whiny post I just needed to vent xx

Just wanted to send my love and say I'm sorry you've been through so much. Its okay to not have good days. I think there's a lot of expectation in life to be okay all the time but that's not real life because we're human. Do you feel able to share how you are feeling with a close friend? Sounds like you could do with someone to talk to. Thank you for reaching out and I hope you give yourself permission to feel whatever you're feeling.

I really feel for you. A first pregnancy should be an exciting time, where people get to see your ever expanding bump. Hopefully lockdown will be easing up, and it might be a different picture come August.
I’m so sorry to hear about your friend, mental illness is just so hard to comprehend, and grief in lockdown is just much worse. Sending you love xx

Aww, didn't want to read and run! I feel for you as I'm feeling the same way. 37 weeks now and fed up of this lockdown, not the first pregnancy I had imagined I would have. I can only hope for you that things have eased by the time you're due. Do you have any hobbies you can do to help pass the time? Something you can make for baby perhaps? If might help to have a project or distraction to help you get through. Also, can you not travel to see your grandmother from a social distance? It might help to perk you up a bit x

Thinking of you. What a horribly tough time for you but I hope you're baby will the beacon of hope in this all xx

I totally understand, I’m due August and it’s our first too. OH is really struggling with not been allowed in with me and I’ve been in three times with bleeding and reduced movement. Just want him here safely

Hi OP, I'm so sorry you are struggling. I'm a FTM due in Aug too and I think we can all say this wasn't the pregnancy we were expecting!

Someone recommended that I took some nice bump pics last week which I did and that cheered me up a bit as I was feeling sad that no-one has actually seen my bump - It sounds like such a small thing but it really got me down for some reason and putting some slap on/doing my hair/wearing a dress lifted my spirits a bit.

I'm apart from my OH as we're stuck on lockdown in different countries so haven't seen each other in 11 weeks. It's his first aswell and he's missing out on everything: scans, feeling kicks, seeing the bump grow, buying baby stuff together etc. It's breaking my heart. We are still praying he can be at the birth in August but it's looking less and less likely as time goes on. We're both devastated. I cry about it every single day.

It's such a hard time to be pregnant. All we can do is try and find some positives every day and focus on our health and that of our little ones. This won't last forever.

Thanks so much for all the replies x I really appreciate it 💓

@sel2223 that must be so tough. I think you are amazingly strong. I really hope that measures change and that he can be there in August for you. I took a bump picture and shared it on FB as noone has really seen it. I also put on a dress and makeup & felt really good. If you ever need to talk DM me xx

I'm also going to see my gran from a social distance this week I'll sit out the front 😃@Hodge85. I'm also going to sign up to do courses online and maybe keep a diary of these weird and strange times.

@KittyKat2020 It is so scary isn't it. x Thr staff in hospital are amazing but its so lonely in the hospital room when you are waiting to hear the heartbeat & for the bleeding to stop. I'll be thinking of you xx

@Duffy23 yes it is! I’ll be thinking about you too, always hear for a chat x

@Duffy23

Very sorry to hear about your situation, sending you positivity and best wishes! We have an August 2020 group floating about on here which may make you feel better if you ever wanted to chat on there!