Private Scan in our situation - honest advice wanted!

[WK29]

FTM to be and looking for your honest opinions. DH works abroad for weeks at a time and is classed as a key worker so is still working during this pandemic. Obviously we’re having to be extremely careful and follow quarantine rules very closely which we are doing for all of our safety and everyone elses!

Obviously with his job and quarantining he is missing a lot of the pregnancy, and although his work have been amazing on making sure he can be home for appointments etc, he can’t attend those either due to the current pandemic (hasn’t been allowed to attend a single appointment). I’ve had to attend the EPU a few times while he’s been away which I feel has made him quite nervous about the whole pregnancy.

I’ve been wondering if having a private scan at some point where partners are still being allowed to attend might ease his worries slightly and make him feel a bit more relaxed. We would only being doing this in a situation where he could isolate for a few weeks before the appointment - we won’t be taking any risks.

I guess I’m just unsure on a moral level about using the private scans with everything going on just now when it’s not a medical need. At the end of the day a healthy pregnancy is the most important thing and I know people are dealing with far worse.

Would you go for one in our situation? And if so, at what stage of your pregnancy. I’m about half way.

[Natalie654321]

I personally would go for a private scan at around 30 weeks. In these awful times it would be really nice if you and your partner could see your baby together on the scan. If you were wanting to find out the sex you could do that at the 30 week scan too.

[BeMorePacific]

Not sure what stage of pregnancy you’re at. But over the next 4-6 months we should see an improvement and a lower R number. So if you have time on your side I’d book a late 2nd/3rd trimester scan.
Congratulations on your pregnancy xxx

[ZaraLouise93]

I would go for a private scan. I have booked one too with a similar situation. I think it’s super important that dad gets to see the baby in its first, natural home, growing & developing. My partner was desperate to be a daddy & he wants to feel every movement, know every detail - he just wants to feel included and it’s pretty heartbreaking he isn’t able to see the joyful moment of sonograms. I understand, don’t get me wrong but he is a first time daddy as much as I’m a first time mummy. It’s our journey as parents & he’s being pushed out of due to the pandemic. Everyone is on the same boat & I’m sure there will be so many different opinions but personally I have no regrets. Medically, the reassurance of a private scan is also a welcomed feeling as I am an anxiety sufferer.
Good luck in your decision, don’t have any regrets.

[raindrop84]

I would say definitely go for the scan however it's worth knowing that it's highly unlikely your partner will be able to attend, at least with the current restrictions. Hopefully that will change over the coming months as I'm in a similar situation and all the places near me aren't allowing partners at the moment.

[Carabu1]

@raindrop84 I went for a private scan yesterday, partially so my husband could come, and he was allowed in. It was at window to the womb so I suspect it’s the same at all their branches. Whether you should or not is really up to you - I have no regrets personally, and having been at home for 10 weeks it was almost exciting to drive across town for it....!

[raindrop84]

@Carabu1 That's interesting, I contacted Window to the Womb a couple of weeks ago and was told only under exceptional circumstances were they letting partners in? Did you have to give a reason?

[3isthemagicnumber3]

I went for a private scan beginning of May and had to go alone. I know some places are letting partners in but you might want to check the rules of the places near you.

[3isthemagicnumber3]

BTW I would go

[WK29]

@Natalie654321 @BeMorePacific
@ZaraLouise93
@raindrop84 @3isthemagicnumber3 @Carabu1

Thank you all for your answers. Im about half way through my pregnancy so was thinking round about 28/30 weeks if I was to book one. Still a long time to go however with DHs work we’re having to arrange his schedule just now for the year and make sure he’s home for enough time before hand to properly quarantine the be able to go to the appointment. Hopefully guidelines will change before then but if not, I know we have places not to far from us that are allowing a partner to attend 😊 hope you’re all doing well with your pregnancies 😊

[Charlie12345625]

I would go if I was in your position.
Window to womb are allowing partners in at my branch, and said they are also starting to do 3d scans from the 1st June (stopped due to restrictions).
I am pregnant with my second so can't go to a private scan with my husband as we need someone to look after my daughter. So gutted that he won't be able to see our baby on the scan. I find it very annoying that some people think that it is more important to have their partner at the scan because it is their first... I think every woman wants their partner to be there regardless of how many kids they already have (not on about you op).
Like I said, if I was in your position I would definitely go for it!

[Katnissx]

@Charlie12345625 I would call your local window to the womb and discuss options. I had a scan yesterday at 11 weeks pregnant and my husband was able to hold our toddler and they stood outside the clinic and were able to watch the scan through an open window- was honestly like they were in the room too. The staff also gave us the options of leaving our son in his car seat (obviously with doors open) and a member of staff standing by the car or a member of staff looking after our son in the waiting room while my husband came into the scan room. We decided on the window option as my son is very clingy. But they were very accommodating and lovely.

@WK29 I would definitely book in for a private scan with your husband, they are being classed as essential and provide so much reassurance (for partners too!) x

[Charlie12345625]

@Katnissx oh that's really good to know!! Thank you so much for letting me know :) I will give them a ring! Would be such good news to tell my husband he can come to see the baby moving on the scan!! Xx

[WK29]

Ohhh I completely agree that it’s important for partners to be there regardless of whether it’s your 1st or your 10th baby @Charlie12345625. I’m sorry your partner is unable to attend but hopefully you’re managing to have a special time showing your DH and DD the scan pictures when you get home 😊 what age is your daughter? Is she old enough to be excited about a new sibling? 😍

[WK29]

Thanks @Katnissx 😊 I’m glad you managed to have that lovely experience with your husband and son! Hope everything is going well for you!

[Sheera1]

I would book a private scan. They are actually not too expensive for just a basic scan. Issue is even private are not currently doing all scans and no partners allowed at most of them but that might change.

[Luckyme30]

Book a private scan! We went to Window to the womb last week for the very reason that I didn’t get the nuchal measurements at my 12 week scan due to covid and also because my partner didn’t get to come to my dating scan.
They allowed him in, I would contact your local branch to check though.

[110APiccadilly]

If it's something you and your partner want and it would help him not to worry, then go for it.

I'm not having one done privately but if DH was really keen on it I would have.