Pregnant second time around, how to survive the newborn stage again!

[Raaaa]

I'm half way through my second pregnancy and have a 3 year old. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten most of the newborn stages and frankly how hard it was. I also didn't have a child already with my first so looking for advice on how to cope this time around! I'm open to anything apart from cosleeping. Thanks

I was dreading the newborn stage with my second baby. My first had colic, I had 3 year old DSD to look after 90% of the time, not a huge amount of support and mild PND. It was really, really tough so as you can imagine i was dreading the second time round with an extra child to look after but it was fine!
DD2 was a very placid, quiet baby, it all just felt so much more natural than it had done with DD1. I really enjoyed the newborn stage this time around and I think that was mostly thanks to the change in myself more than anything else having done it all before.

I'm on my fourth he's nearly 4 weeks old and only advice is routine and work things rou d the 3 hour blocks baby feeds. It is hard but do manage make sure u carve time out for ur other one in one of those 3 hour blocks so she can have time with u. As for sleeping I have the next to me crib and it's great as u don't have to get out of bed to get them. Co sleeping is a personal decision I don't like doing it but this wee man thinks it's playtime at 4am so to get some more sleep past couple days iv taken him into the bed just to get a bit of sleep. U just do what u need happy mummy happy baby.

I had ds2 when ds1 was 2y4m. It was absolutely fine! Ds2 was a totally different newborn - easygoing, slept well, content. The toddler was a bit of a handful with tantrums but he was OK really. I wouldn't say I struggled. Also you kind of know the drill second time around so it does seem less stressful. My advice would be, try to have a bit of one to one with the 3yo when you can - lots of cuddles and reassurance. We bought ours a toy "from the baby" that we gave him when we came home from the hospital. Don't worry about bunging on an episode of Hey Duggee or Paw Patrol or whatever while you're feeding/sorting the baby. A sling is useful to carry the baby while doing stuff round the house with the toddler. Also if you know you're about to embark on something that may take a while (e.g. a long feed), make sure toddler has access to a drink and snack and the potty is out ready so you don't need to worry about sorting those things. I found a double buggy an absolute essential in the early weeks as ds1 was in no way cooperative and prone to tantrums but your first is older so you may not need one. I don't use it so much now. Oh the biggest issue is bedtime - my two synchronised bedtimes really quickly which, in a way, is useful as they tend to be asleep at the same time in the evening but I struggle to put them both down at the same time. Ds1 wants lots of cuddles and does not want the baby involved with his stories while ds2 wants to breastfeed but gets distracted by ds1! So I tend to sort ds2 while dh does ds1 as it's just easier that way.

I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old. My advice would be to stock your freezer with easy to cook, filling, healthy meals, get the toddler involved in 'helping' as much as possible, and lower your standards on how much tv they watch. With regards to sleep, I dont do cosleeping either, so we had dd in a bassinet and then a small crib next to the bed, until she moved into her own room and her cot a couple of weeks ago. Tbh she has only just started sleeping through, since she moved into the bigger cot, I think she likes to be able to stretch out. We also had a changing station set up in our room for any night time changes.

The other thing I will say is this, the first few months were hard, in many ways. But I've been much more confident as a mum this time, and things felt more natural. And as dd has got older, and can sit up and play with toys, it's got a lot easier. So if it feels really tough at times, remember it will get better.

Following as I'll be in the same position. All my friends with a second say it's easier because you know what to expect more!

@Raaaa you'll be absolutely fine, especially with that age gap. It's people with 2 under two that often will find it a bit of a slog. Your little one will nearly be in school by the time this new baby arrives, you'll be laughing! You will have done it all before and honestly the second is so much easier because of that ☺️

Thanks everyone!

Ooh a comment has been deleted I don't know what was said..

I definitely think going through it already is a massive help and you know things get better and less worried about messing up. A good point about the age she will be at preschool in September

Good luck to those following as they're in the same boat!

Oh and @Raaaai had my 2nd and 3rd with only an 11 month age gap so u will be OK I survived barely lol but I did