Terrified of loss

[MrsMyreton]

Wasn't sure whether to post this here or in mental health.

Long story short, I'm expecting baby number 2. Had a bleed at 6 weeks then at 10 weeks. Everything fine after that, and told at 20 weeks scan that blood had completely reabsorbed. Now approaching 23 weeks.

I constantly obsess and worry about losing this baby. I read endless stories of late miscarriages and pregnancy losses. Every time I go for a wee I have to prepare myself mentally in case there is blood. Although I try to function normally for my DD who is three, it’s constantly in my thoughts.

I don’t really know what I’m asking other than - has anyone else felt like this? And do you have any tips for managing it?

Now have Group B Strep and on antibiotics for a UTI. Feeling worse than ever. Anyone managed to control the fear?

Hi OP. I only have one little one he's nearly 18 months but I had trouble conceiving. I had a bleed at 6 weeks as well but then fortunately nothing after. It didn't stop me worrying all the time. I was so upset at one point that my husband got quite angry with me but he said if you don't believe in anything can you at least try and believe in our son (I guess I just have been more than 16 weeks at that point!). It helped me so much. From then on I concentrated on him when the panic got too much. On how strong he was and how he was growing in there. You must be in your 3rd trimester now? Do you know what you are having? Does your daughter understand what's going on?

Thank you so much for replying @GreenLeafTurnip that's really good advice.

I'm 29 weeks now and looking back I'd have been convinced that I'd have shaken this feeling off by now, but here I am. Yes, DD knows now (we held off telling her until after I was past 20 weeks. She asked me this morning if her sister was going to 'pop out' today which always makes me smile. But part of my worry is what if the worst happens and I have to explain to her?

Every day I'm just full of anxiety. Examining everything.

I’m sorry I don’t have much advice but didn’t want to read and run.
I had terrible anxiety the whole of my pregnancy and was worried about everything that could possibly go wrong and this unfortunately carried on until he was delivered safely. Have you spoken with your midwife at all about how you are feeling? Mine were extremely unhelpful but I knew my anxiety came from the job that I do so I kind of had to just go with it.
If at any point you feel that something is not quite right then always go and get checked and if they seem resistant just always push for things. You know your own body and your baby better than anyone and you just get a feeling.
And now as you approach 23 weeks if anything were to happen in terms of ore-term labour then there is something that can be done for your baby. I always took mine week by week once I hit 24 weeks as I knew every week meant an increase in chances of survival etc.
I’m hoping you and baby will be fine

Hi OP. I spent my entire pregnancy convinced I was going to loser my baby. I miscarries last year and it destroyed me. Every time I went the loo and wiped I expected blood, went in for reduced movements about 8 times so I know the feeling. Reach out to your mental health midwife or at least tell your midwife if your feelings and ask for support they will likely refer you for CBT or keep an eye on you.

Try not to let it spoil this amazing time for you x

Thank you so much for the responses, I really appreciate it.

Had to go to docs today as I have now developed a large lump down below. Gyni appointment on Tuesday morning so a full week of dread as they don't know what it is.

Struggling to keep it together.