Feel like there's nothing to look forward to

[Cherryrainbow]

Struggling to get out of this flat feeling. I'm one of those people who needs something to look forward to ie. Xmas, going somewhere, meeting up with mum or friends and I just feel stuck and hopeless atm. I feel like the future looks rubbish. A few people have said "having the baby is exciting!" And I'm like really? Atm I can't see how it's going to be anything but bad atm. I've started having thoughts like my partner doesn't love me I'm just a housemate and if it wasnt for the pregnancy and I had more money I wouldn't be living with him, we're just stuck with each other until something happens. When I think about doing stuff with the baby I can't see him doing any of the things together with us i.e. going to the beach, baby swimming classes, first trip out and stuff like that. I know he's not going to be able to deal with me having post natal depression but what can I do, just make the best of a bad situation I guess

Ah OP I understand. I have a five.month old and am feeling a bit robbed BUT there are so many amazing things still.
The first smile, the first time you let them kick their feet in the bath or tickle their toes.
The first time they giggle, watching them concentrate in delight at baby sensory on you tube
Seeing them recognise faces on video calls and 'chat' to friends and family
Taking them on a walk, sitting in the garden with them
I've ordered a sandpit and paddling pool so I can still put his toes in the sand even though it's not quite the same

I promise that when baby is here, even though it's not what you planned, you'll have things to look forward to x

Also sorry posted too soon but I think you need to speak to someone about your low thoughts, don't let them spiral. Can you speak to a midwife? X