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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Mansplaining: Pregnancy and Birth Edition

35 replies

Bluebird3456 · 19/05/2020 19:13

Having had labour/birth mansplained to me by a colleague today ("the midwives will tell you to pant, what you really want to do is breathe only through your nose" yada yada), I wondered if anyone has any mansplaining stories to share! Please help make a fellow preggo laugh Grin

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wineymummy · 19/05/2020 19:43

Not a Mansplain (just a non-mother) but a friend recently helpfully suggested that I try spicy food to kick start my overdue labour 😬

Original poster
Bluebird3456 · 19/05/2020 19:52

@wineymummy Grin

Oh yes it's definitely not just men, just couldn't think of another word for it!

I did also once have a female child free friend helpfully explain why I needed to push for early induction Hmm

OP posts:
Perch · 19/05/2020 19:54

I had an ‘embrace the pain’
Wanker

YorkshirePud1 · 19/05/2020 19:58

Yes! I'm pregnant and I met a friend of a friend on a night out in January. He gave me some much unwanted advice about childbirth, telling me that if it comes to it I should refuse a c-section no matter what, as I won't feel like I've had a real birth. I politely told him that my priority will be getting my baby here safely "no matter what". He shook his head and smiled patronisingly at me, and then told me his ex-wife gave birth to twins 19 years ago by c-section and didn't feel like a "real woman" and if I don't give birth naturally I'll regret it for the rest of my life. How I didn't throw his drink in his face I don't know.

RandomMess · 19/05/2020 20:00

I have a female friend that is a midwife and lectures/teaches midwifery. She hasn't had a child of her own, she tells her students "don't teach these women how to suck eggs"

Thankful that someone so grounded is teaching the next generation...

The midwife that told me I didn't need to urinate post delivery and made me wait 4 hours...

sarahc336 · 19/05/2020 20:03

Not really the same but a pregnant know it all colleague pregnant with her first baby, told me that during labour you simply breath the baby out, I just smiled and in my head though yeah good luck love Grin

RandomMess · 19/05/2020 20:11

@sarahc336 😂😂😂😂😂😂

HopeYouStepOnALego · 19/05/2020 20:15

When I was in labour the first time my (un)helpful Husband kept giving me instructions on how he thought I should breathe\pant etc. The midwife came close to my face to get eye contact and said "try to focus on me". I turned to my husband and said "what she means is shut the fuck up!" I'm sure I saw the MW try to stifle a smirk as she turned away Grin.

Lockdownlover · 19/05/2020 20:18

@sarahc336 when pregnant with dc2, I was also told by a colleague pregnant with her first that she was loving her hypnobirthing class and couldn’t wait to breathe her baby out. She looked at my patronisingly when I said that it can go out of the window when the pain really kicks in. When I messaged after the baby was born to say congratulations, I also asked how the birth went. She didn’t answer that question Grin. Maybe there’s more to breathing the baby out than she thought...

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/05/2020 20:21

I had a male midwife tell me my waters hadn’t gone. I was adamant they bloody well had, we’d heard a loud popping sound and fluid had gushed - gushed I tell you - like a waterfall down my legs soaking my dress while I waddled at speed to the loo. He asked DH if HE thought they had, cheeky bugger, and DH said yes of course they had if that’s what I’d said had happened and no there was no chance I’d “had a little accident”. Still pisses me off. What a tool.

sarahc336 · 19/05/2020 23:03

@Lockdownlover I did hypno birthing but it's still no walk in the park and trust me I did not simply breath the baby out Grin

KatnissMellark · 19/05/2020 23:08

My 20 year old brother in law telling me he'd watched a TED talk about pain- apparently it's all mental and if only I was mentally strong enough giving birth wouldn't have hurt HmmBiscuit

amazedmummy · 19/05/2020 23:15

I was at work while I was pregnant and discussing with a friend that me and the midwife thought a c-section would probably be the best method of delivery for my very healthily sized DS. A colleague that I don't really know that well had been listening in, he chipped in with "I can't believe you won't even try to deliver properly". I was so upset about the fact he said "properly" and so pregnant I went off for a cry. My friend went through him though.

Sparklfairy · 19/05/2020 23:18

@KatnissMellark did you kick him in the balls to test the theory? Grin

KatnissMellark · 19/05/2020 23:21

@Sparklfairy it may have been suggested

Soontobe60 · 19/05/2020 23:22

@Lockdownlover
I was also told by a colleague pregnant with her first that she was loving her hypnobirthing class and couldn’t wait to breathe her baby out. She looked at my patronisingly when I said that it can go out of the window when the pain really kicks in. When I messaged after the baby was born to say congratulations, I also asked how the birth went. She didn’t answer that question

That's not exactly kind of you is it? In fact, its quite nasty. Probably why she didn't reply.

CoolNoMore · 20/05/2020 05:51

Waiting outside the studio for pregnancy yoga, a middle-aged lady took the time to stop, stare at me pityingly for a moment, before saying, 'it's a worrying time, pregnancy'. I returned the stare, and said 'well, some people want you to think that, but I don't take that shit from people'.

I saw her many more times after that, but she never seemed to want to make eye contact...

Lockdownlover · 20/05/2020 06:35

@Soontobe60 There was absolutely nothing unkind or nasty about our interactions either before or after she gave birth. Please don’t judge others by your own standards. As she was telling me about how she was going to breathe the baby out, I smiled along as labour is all about headspace so I was not going to piss on her chips. Considering she spoke so much about hypnobirthing, please explain how it’s unkind to say something along the lines of “Congratulations on the birth of... he/she is gorgeous. How did the birth go?”

mrnimmanimma · 20/05/2020 06:39

@CoolNoMore

Sounds like you needed that yoga session.

CandyLeBonBon · 20/05/2020 06:48

I got told jokingly by a very young male anaesthetist that I was too posh to push, whilst having my spinal block put in with dc 2 who was transverse. Idiot.

MsChatterbox · 20/05/2020 06:48

After throwing up 10 times a day for 10 weeks straight, and after a particularly bad night of sickness with one hour sleep I came into work looking a bit worse for wear. Cue male colleague... "smile! You're pregnant not ill!"

CoolNoMore · 20/05/2020 07:12

@mrnimmanimma I always need a yoga session. I never find myself needing unsolicited commentary from strangers passing by, weirdly!

flissity · 20/05/2020 07:20

@MsChatterbox so if someone had a sickness bug for 10 weeks they’d be fine ? Really annoys me. Sickness like that takes everything out of you.

Soubriquet · 20/05/2020 07:24

I got the same comment from my mother about being pregnant not ill.

I was hospitalised 4 times with dehydration and couldn’t keep anything down. Then I had threatened pre-term labour at 28 weeks which required 4 day’s in hospital and then bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. Dh got me a wheelchair so I could be out and about.

SHE was embarrassed by it.

MsChatterbox · 20/05/2020 07:53

@flissity I'm not even sure how I remained calm. Think I felt too crap to reply. I have never felt sicker than I do in pregnancy!!