NO ANTENATAL CLASSES-worried

[Shankairen]

Hey everyone! I’m just a bit worried as there’s no antenatal classes on at the moment. I feel very unprepared. I’m 25+1 and due 31st August. Not too long left. First baby-so literally never done it before. Did not plan so have literally no clue. I wanted classes to make me feel prepared but I’ve got nothing. Need to buy so much and I’m just panicking I’m going to get home,look at the baby and be like ‘what do I do’ and google everything😂 I’m quite good with knowing how to look after a baby,feed,Bath,change nappies like pretty much all that. But I’m just feeling a little alone because there’s no classes on. Any tips? Even if it’s literally a tip for feeding,bathing etc. Anything.

Just wanted everyone to say what was the most helpful thing you learnt at an antenatal class! 💗

The free NHS ones don't tell you much more than you can learn from spending a few hours surfing parenting websites, to be honest.

I found the positive birth company online videos very helpful for preparing for the birth. They aren't free, but worth every penny!! I didn't really ever get thinking much farther than that!

We all google everything as first time mums.

The classes weren't that helpful, really. More for people who didn't know what a baby was, how they get out etc... you aren't missing much!!

Just to let you know that you're not alone in feeling like this. I am nearly 28 weeks and also a totally clueless FTM.
I'm currently debating whether or not to get a refund for NCT classes or join the virtual classes they are doing instead. I've also started following a few Instagram accounts and ordered a few books from Amazon. It's not the same but it's something.

Speaking to older relatives has reassured me a lot. They had no classes, no Google, no picking up a phone to ask someone and they still managed so I'm sure we will be ok.

Honestly, I learnt absolutely fuck all of use at antenatal classes. It was nice to meet other parents though.

Bathing, nappy changing, dressing etc are not at all complicated. Breastfeeding can be tricky, it's worth learning what "normal" breastfeeding looks like and some tips and tricks, but you can get that from, say, kellymom.com or La Leche League. The rest came from getting to know my specific baby, which couldn't be done until he arrived and also until I stopped trying to fit him into the things I read in baby books and got to know him, the actual human in front of me.

I will tell you one thing that is mysteriously never discussed in antenatal classes: you need to actively manage a baby's sleep. Babies don't just fall asleep, they need help to get there, and the more tired they get the harder it is for them to drop off. Newborns can only manage about 90 mins of awake time max, after which you need to help them fall asleep with feeding/rocking/swaddling/taking them for a walk.

Good luck! You'll be grand.

I didn’t go to them. Happy to report that both children survived. You’ll be perfectly fine, don’t worry.

I didn't do any, and my kid is one and scrabbling along ok! Honestly you would be better off going to some baby groups as soon as you can once baby is here, to speak with other adults and maintain some sanity. You will be fine! It's 90% instinct and 10% late night Amazon purchases.

Anyone debating doing the virtual NCT we completed ours recently and thoroughly enjoyed them. Didn't learn much I didn't already know through Mumsnet/talking to people/reading online. But a designated forum to ask questions, or hear other questions people had that I hadn't thought of, and a group of people all local and due around the same time as me was worth the money.

I've also done positive birth company and that was good but not for post partum lessons.

25 weeks is still ages to go, honestly just google or go on pinterest or talk to other mothers! X

I’m just panicking I’m going to get home,look at the baby and be like ‘what do I do’

You totally are going to do that, antenatal classes or no antenatal classes, because we all do. The moment where the midwives just walk away and leave you ALONE WITH THE BABY and you're like "what the fuck do I do, holy shit I'm responsible for this living being, WHERE ARE YOU GOING DO YOU NOT REALISE I MIGHT KILL IT" is quite surreal

Doing my classes online, there’s good videos. I take in more reading, and writing notes, though. So I’m “studying” my books. Not too much, as it will mostly be learn as you go!
I’m 34 weeks and haven’t got all of the baby things yet... There’s still time!

I follow @thehonestmidwife on Instagram and she is running free online antenatal classes. I haven’t taken them so can’t speak for the content.

I missed them last time as baby came early but there honestly wasn't anything I think I felt unprepared for on a practical level. You seem like you have that covered.

I ended up joining online groups for help when things came up. I would recommend The Baby Detective for troubleshooting general issues and Feed for feeding specific support. Neither tell you what you 'should' do, just help find what works for you.

The best advice I got was 'just when you think you've nailed it, something will change!' I would add to that not to get fixated on doing something in a specific way, be flexible.

Good luck, you'll be great x

Hi Op

Firstly, it's OK to be worried about being prepared, but remember there's a reason there's eleventy billion books, videos, products, opinions telling what and how to do it. Cash. Cold hard cash!!! You'll get free advice here, and top rated products. If you search old threads 'what do I really need' has been done loads of times. Eg, as a mum of three and veteran if many useless products, I can vouch the IKEA highchair is by far the best. Likewise get big muslins, lots of them.

Secondly, your baby doesn't know you haven't read the books. Your baby knows your voice. You are the expert of your baby. Take your time. Don't panic. Listen and watch your baby. Like pp said, you have to help your baby to sleep. Likewise, you have to help them by watching the clues they give. Don't rush to them immediately, whatever your instinct. You will learn to look, listen and read them. Is the cry a mwah, mwahmwah siren? Is your baby turning its head to the side? That's a hunger call. Is baby pulling her feet up? That's wind. You have to stand back and watch before you can work out what to do. Sometimes it's a process of going through checklist of what it could be - it might even be 'stop fussing and leave me alone, it's too bright'

On a more serious note, re birth plan, one really useful thing from NCT classes for me was talking through how many people would be in the room for a C-section. I went in overdue with a 3 page, no pain relief, hugely optimistic birth plan. Epidural & emergency section later, I was really grateful for having played with 7 or 8 Playmobile figurines weeks earlier, knowing who was consultant, midwife, theatre techs, doing something with anaesthetic, student etc. Otherwise, sheer number of people would have made me freak out (already freaking out from speed of it, until theatre team started talking about Coronation Street over my belly. What's their normal every day work situation. Okay..)

You know what, it was fine. Each of my births was very different, and each time I was very happy. If you expect them to be very specific, you will be disappointed. Birth doesn't happen like that. Go with it, try to be as flexible as possible as you just don't know how it will be for you, what your body will feel like. Staff will help and guide you. Trust and believe in yourself - ask for the help you need.

Good luck!

I went to one antenatal class at 38 weeks pregnant and had to leave halfway through as there was no air con 😆.

My child is fine! Your instinct to protect them will kick in and as long as you've got common sense, you'll be ok. Health visitors and midwife's are on hand all the time on the phone. You'll be great!

Thank you so much to everyone!! These tips are literally so helpful! I’ve definitely got this-I’m literally going to be fine I think I just needed to speak to other mums/pregnant women if I’m honest & make myself feel better. It’s so strange not meeting other pregnant women etc and being able to share stories/experiences but you’ve all made me feel so comfortable. And the little tips given are soooo handy!!