My feed

to access all these features

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.


When you feel totally thrown off by the pandemic!

19 replies

Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 10:01

This can't just be me, but maybe it is?
I'm 22 weeks, but I feel like I'm not acknowledging this pregnancy as much as I should...and I kind of feel like its because theres so much uncertainty.

This baby was planned, I'm thrilled to be pregnant and I was distraught when I lost the last one....But I've barely bought anything (a cot!), I've not looked at any books really, I've seen a midwife once, I've not really been looking at baby things online, I literally have no idea what's going on!

Anyone else like this? I'm starting to scare myself now because I feel in denial that I'm pregnant!

OP posts:
lovegalore · 19/05/2020 11:31

Me too! Also 22 weeks pregnant and not at all prepared. I know we have time to still sort things but I just feel totally unmotivated.

Feeling pretty lost too as I really don't feel like I know what to expect etc.

toomanytrollshere · 19/05/2020 11:37

Is this your first pregnancy? I feel similar but think it's because it's just not as interesting second time round. I was crazy buying stuff last time and obsessed with looking at how big the baby was (aka which fruit it was the same size as) and stuff like that. Second time you know it all already so just plod along. The pandemic certainly makes it feel less special tho, I hear you on that!

Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 11:56

@toomanytrollshere...This is my first. Haven't really looked at the size of the baby....Havent bought anything. Starting to worry theres something really wrong with me!!! 😭 I cried through the whole 12 week scan in sheer relief because the baby was ok, so I know I'm happy. But I'm just not looking at baby stuff, not buying anything, and putting everything off until I have to do it.

OP posts:
Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 11:58

@lovegalore I feel exactly the same. I dont know how to prepare. I've had one midwife appointment at 8 weeks and that's it. I think I'm now starting to panic because I dont know what's going on or what I need to be doing. It doesnt seem real. It's like life is on pause....but you cant put a pregnancy on pause!

OP posts:
lovegalore · 19/05/2020 13:06

@Duesept20 I think we're in the exact same position, I was meant to see the midwife at 16 weeks but that was cancelled, so haven't seen her like you since my 8 weeks booking appointment.

Feeling totally deflated and lost, I bought myself a pregnancy bible book to try and help but I just sat and cried because I just feel so alone and not got a clue what I can expect. It's different from face to face conversations but I just feel silly asking questions and making a fuss when I know there's bigger problems going on in the world.

My partner has been really supportive through it all and he knows exactly why I'm so down in the dumps. I feel bad for feeling down about it when I feel so lucky I've got a healthy little baby growing inside me. But still can't help but feel like I'm missing out on so much. I've been WFH since the start of the lock down, I feel like I'm missing out on my family and friends see my bump grow etc. It's a really hard time to be pregnant but I feel like a drama queen too.

When are you due?

Cherryrainbow · 19/05/2020 13:51

I'm pregnant with my 2nd and have struggled as not feeling excited. Only just started buying stuff since we found out he gender and thinking of names too so I can bouts of excitement. I think what's hard is having the other pregnancy to compare it to, and being able to see my mum, go our shopping, day trips etc. Whereas stuck in the house is draining x

mrs87 · 19/05/2020 14:34

I feel you! 24+3 with my first and despite buying lots to make me feel like I'm doing something I feel like I'm playing pretend and don't feel overly connected with my baby at all. Not seeing anyone is not helping and I don't feel like the majority of friends/family even remember I'm pregnant and don't really check in to see how I'm doing! I feel like texting every now and then to say 'Hey! Remember I'm pregnant?' but that's probably selfish as everyone has their own things going on. Had my 25 week midwife "appointment" over the phone today which felt rushed, again... Haven't seen a midwife since 8 weeks! I don't know what I expected the pregnancy journey to feel like but I don't think this was it. I blame Covid-19!

mrs87 · 19/05/2020 14:35

Planned baby and happy to be pregnant here, too!

WK29 · 19/05/2020 14:48

Planned baby and delighted to be pregnant here too Smile 16 weeks with our first baby and so far only very immediate family and my boss at work know! I’ve been furloughed so have been isolating with my partner at home.
Haven’t told any friends as I’d like to be able to tell them face to face (hopefully! Lol). Have seen one midwife at my 12 week scan but all other midwife contact has been over the phone!

Kind of feel like I’ve just made the whole thing up to be honest! Haha. If lockdown continues much longer I’ll be turning up to meet friends with a bump that they know. I thing about lol.

Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 15:10

@lovegalore aww yeah I am exactly the same!! We bought a cot, and I sat and cried and had a nervous breakdown because I dont feel like theres space in the world for me to be pregnant. I totally get how you feel. I haven't seen my family since September last year, and dont think I'll see them now until I have a baby...They only live 200 miles away, not like they have to fly here..but with covid I havent seen them, they wont see me pregnant at all.
The issue I have with this is that the pregnancy is still going to progress and when the baby is here I'm going to regret not being excited...What do we think we can all do to turn this around? Or do we just accept it? 🤔

OP posts:
Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 15:10

@lovegalore I'm due 20th September

OP posts:
whhho · 19/05/2020 15:20

Same here. I'm 35+2 and still struggling to get excited. First baby, planned. But have not been able to get excited - as soon as I started to feel a bit better it was just after Christmas. Then not much happened, then this started. Not been able to shop (except online) for things I'd like. Not been able to see friends and family with my growing bump. Can't imagine how it's going to be when baby arrives, not a normal time to bring a baby into the world :(

Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 17:08

@mrs87 I'm sorry you're feeling the same way too. Its rubbish isn't it? I think the lack of contact with anyone is hard. My parents havent seen me since 3 months before I fell pregnant and I dont think theyll see with a bump, baby will be here by then probably. I really want to find a way to enjoy it and be excited, because I'm just so worried that I'll have the baby, and then my other friends will get pregnant and it'll make me wish I'd enjoyed the time I had more and looked forward to it. But I'm finding it really hard. I just want to find a way to be excited and not lose this time 😪

OP posts:
Duesept20 · 19/05/2020 17:11

@WK29, I hope you get to tell friends soon! It's not ideal is it? I told a friend who was maid of honour at my wedding last year, when I was 12 weeks....Shes one of my oldest friends and I've lirerally had no response to my last message to her, and she hasnt asked how I am or anything, 13 weeks later 😂 the world is very odd at the moment!

OP posts:
WK29 · 19/05/2020 17:22

@Duesept20 The world is definitely very odd at the moment 😂 Would certainly have been nice for your friend to respond to your message 🙈

I could message and tell friends or tell them on the phone but I’d just really love to be able to tell them in person so I’m going to hold off a little while longer and see what happens with lockdown 😂 It also feels a bit funny looking at baby stuff online and not being able to go and have a look round any shops etc 🙈 We’ve made a rough list of everything we think we need and have agreed to start looking at options after our 20 week scan and start buying bits and pieces online from 24 weeks if there’s no change with lockdown!

Applesandlemons · 20/05/2020 00:58

I completely understand how everyone’s feeling I’m the same, 17 weeks and absolutely chuffed to bits about the baby but can’t help feeling like this isn’t real. I imagined pregnancy as a time with lots of support, questions and shopping trips and maybe even a little bit of “fuss.” It’s not like that at all for me I feel like my friends and family have forgotten I’m pregnant it’s only my mum who really refers to it.
People say “enjoy your pregnancy” and that’s even harder to hear as I was so sick the first trimester and since then lockdown has prevented much of the enjoyment. Sometimes I feel like I’m making my whole pregnancy up! It’s reassuring to hear that others are in the same boat, it’s not easy.

Playdonut · 20/05/2020 01:07

I wasnt pregnant during a pandemic but I think denial is quite common in pregnancy. Especially with your first. I had to pack my bag in labour as I went into labour unexpectedly. The midwife said that at 41 weeks pregnant I should have been expecting it!! Its better not to have too much baby stuff, you really dont need half the things the pregnancy magazines tell you you need. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy xx

Playdonut · 20/05/2020 01:09

Also people say enjoy your pregnancy because it's a social convention. Pregnancy is mainly annoying and unenjoyable at the best of times, but if we admitted that, the human race could die out!!

Maxwillpop · 20/05/2020 02:55

@Duesept20 this is my 3rd baby and i feel exactly the same, it feels extreamly different to my last two pregnancies, i saw a midwife at 20 weeks due to in my area they are catching up on 16week appointments and i said to her that i feel very disconnected to this pregnancy, it somwhow feels like its happening to someone else not me. I truely beleive because with my others i was always out shopping looking at what i wanted, always talking to people about it at work, it was a big part of my everyday, whereas this time it really doesnt feel like that, i really feel for people haing their first babies during this pandemic as its a completely different experience, but please try and sit back relax enjoy baby kicking and take in what an incredible journey your body is going through, i know its hard maybe start a little scrap book with bump pictures and memories of feeling kicks etc, write a little diary and focus of all the positives, really hope you start to feel better soon x x

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.