More and more low days :(

[Birdy1991]

I'm 29+4 and having a really tough time mentally, have been feeling more and more low the last couple of weeks. I am suffering with back pain night and day, headaches all day and trying not to rely on paracetamol, can't get comfortable at night and need a wee every hour, plus trying to finish a dissertation and deal with lockdown and I don't know if it is all of this that's taking a toll on me. My body is forever aching and growing and I miss being able to be active.

I'm having more and more low days where I can't bear to leave the house and then feel guilty and beat myself up for it. I wear a fitbit and it's always pushing me to walk further and achieve 10,000 steps a day (I've just taken this off and have resolved not to wear it again until I've had the baby). I wonder if I deserve this baby and can't help but feel like she deserves a mum who is over the moon right now and can cope better with everything. I've started getting anxieties about my ability to cope with being a mum and going through labour. I want to curl up in bed and cry a lot and don't want to speak to any of my family. Is this likely to be pregnancy hormones or is this something worse? I don't know if I should speak to my midwife.

Sorry for the super sad post... has anyone felt the same around this time and is there anything you recommend or advise...? x

Hi lovely I didn't want to scroll past and just ignore this. I personally have these days/weeks & it it's awful - you feel so low and so sad you do start to feel guilty about your pregnancy because it 'should' be the happiest time of our lives.

Your body is taking a hammering from pregnancy & all the little annoyances like needing to wee during the night stops you from sleeping properly let alone trying to get comfortable. Your not alone in how your feeling I promise you that.

Stop beating yourself up about not being active enough, great idea taking the watch off. Your pregnant & growing a life. Your little bubba is taking all your extra energy! It's so okay to do nothing!

It wouldn't hurt talking to your midwife about how your feeling, I reached out to mine & I had additional phone calls for support and to check in on how I am.

There's a percentage of women that fall into a category of depression during pregnancy 🤰
it's all the hormones - on top of fear of am I doing everything right, will a be a good mum, labour etc etc! There is help out there & the midwifes won't think your mad and class you as a bad Mumma. They can help & support you. Sending you a virtual hug! Speak to your midwife I hope you start to feel more like yourself soon xxx

Thanks @BDB18 - I have always suffered with anxiety and low self-esteem so always beating myself up over something. I know if I knew someone else going through this with pregnancy that I would tell them to stop giving themselves a hard time, but why can't I take that advice myself? I guess I see on here people that have really struggled to get pregnant and that have miscarriages and complications, and then I worry that I am not grateful enough or don't deserve this.

I have looked up antenatal depression and I think if the bad days continue to outnumber the good days then I will mention it at my 32 week midwife appointment. I just don't want to call and bother the NHS with the covid situation at the moment.

With regards to being active; I think I also feel guilty for putting on a lot of weight. I think I've put on more than I needed to; I'm now 10 stone 12 and started out at 9 stone 2... but I just need to stop being horrible to myself.

Thank you for all your advice and kind words. xxxx

It would be the best thing ever if we listened to our own advice but don't beat yourself up about that. You & I both know when your not in the right frame of mind - no advice thrown out way matters! It's not a case of pulling yourself out of this hole. It's an imbalance mentally & it's a lot harder then just listening to advice and doing better.

It's amazing you've reached out & I really hope you get the help you need my lovely.

When your having more bad days then good I think it's definitely important to mention it to your midwife. Don't suffer in silence, they will be able to help.

I have a DD she's 2 & in 13 weeks pregnant with this one. I'm on anti depressants & I feel so guilty about it that I took myself off them. My midwife advised me after a long heart to heart - that actually staying on them and getting support through pregnancy is so important because of the hormones and changes it could have an adverse effect. So please your not alone if you ever want to vent or talk to someone other then family your more then welcome to message me 💕

Also I hear what your saying about these poor ladies that miscarry or can't conceive, it is awful & heartbreaking, by do not beat yourself up for feeling how your feeling. You can't help it. That doesn't make you selfish or ungrateful at all, okay xxx