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Pregnant at 44 years old.

13 replies

Lloyd2003 · 17/05/2020 13:33

Hi, I am new to this and this is my first post. I need some help and positive stories! I am 44 (45 in July) and have just discovered that I am pregnant. Naturally, without trying (apart from the unprotected sex bit obvs 🙄) the last 5 or 6 years have been a bit hectic, divorce, redundancy, (twice) bereavement (lost my mum). Moved house twice (long story but now back in the rural village I grew up in having lived in the suburban commuter belt for 20 years) I have 2 sons 17 and 7 and had a termination between ( controlling ex husband bullied me into) which I found very traumatic. I met up with my childhood crush soon after mum passed away and we have been together over 3 years, we live together and love each other very much, we are in a strong stable relationship, we are engaged. I foolishly didn’t think that I would fall pregnant ( we have not been using contraception for the last couple of years.) I thought I was starting to experience the menopause. However this time my period was late, I had sore boobs and again though ‘just age and hormones changing’ but something niggled me into taking a test. And... it’s positive. I am 44 and pregnant. Scared confused and shocked. Any guidance? Advice? Anyone out there been through similar? What should I expect.

OP posts:
Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 17/05/2020 13:37

Congratulations, clearly meant to be! Am your age so I can imagine what you are feeling but you’ve made a life which is an amazing thing Smile

Sheera1 · 17/05/2020 13:54

I am 41 and have a twn year old from my first marriage. I had a new partner (well 7 years together now) and he has no children and we had an mmc about 3 yrs ago. I didn't go back on the pill and tbh I thought that ship had sailed and then boom. Pregnant I am 13 weeks now. Been pretty sick and tired when first pregnancy was a breeze, but I am older and new partner and could be a girl when I had a boy.

It is hard thinking of doing it all again now and thinking about school and giving up work again which puts a halt on career again for the next 5 years anyway.

I was really shocked and cried when I found out. I was also days away from a mammogram because the Dr had agreed there was something to investigate. That and the coronavirus all was a bit too much. My partner was over the moon though and after the initial shock I felt a bit better about it. I couldn't get the mammogram but they did an ultrasound and all was fine. Coronavirus has been good in that I have been working from home. Otherwise I would have had lots of poor attendance feeling sick.

After mmc I didn't want to think of the future but as the weeks go on you get so attached and can't help thinking about the baby stuff again.

We are not ancient. Lots of people have babies late on now. I have three family member who were all over 42 and children and mums are all great.

It is a personal decision for you both, but you are by no means ancient. Xxxx

MrsAmelia · 17/05/2020 14:03

Congratulations 💐💐
I wholeheartedly agree with @Sheera1. You are not ancient and it’s becoming more and more the norm to see older mums (whether by choice or by beautiful accident). I’m 41, almost 42 and my third pregnancy. I waited later to try for my children and experienced five different types of mmcs throughout my journey to create and build a family. None of this has been easy or smooth sailing, but often the most important things and events in life aren’t easy.
I hope this is a pregnancy that continues strong and gives you a new beginning which you can embrace with happiness with your new partner (& new chapter).
Enjoy the journey and embrace the change, of this is something you want. Life doesn’t throw many beautiful curveballs, but a new baby with someone you love is by definition just that.
Sending you lots of joy and sticky baby dust 🎉🎉
Now, put your feet up and enjoy the forced time at home 💐💗

Flipflops23 · 17/05/2020 15:31

Congratulations 🍼
I’m 43 years old and currently 36 + 5 with baby number 3. My children are 16 and 12 and like you finding out I was pregnant was a massive surprise. It took a lot of getting our heads around and varying emotions from my daughter and son but we are now very much looking forward to meeting our ‘surprise’. Like others have said, it was obviously meant to be.

That said, this pregnancy has been hard going and a long slog for me. I have spoken to other ladies in their 40s who have sailed through it though.

Good luck and congratulations once again.

Goldenmother · 17/05/2020 15:40

Congratulations how wonderful after a stressful few years, I'm 39 next week and this is my 3rd pregnancy I had a mc 7 years ago already have 2 children and after mc I was told I had pcos and after 1 year of trying nothing happen I had expected I couldn't have any more I hadn't used contraception in all those 7 years and then October last year I got the biggest shock finding out I was expecting I cried and took a few days to sink in but we are all so excited and only 5 weeks to go now. I look at it as a blessing and totally meant to be I had a few scares along the way but he seems to be a tough cookie

AuntLucy · 18/05/2020 08:13

I am in almost exactly the same situation (same age, two older children, we were actively trying for a third baby a few years ago but after several years of 'trying' with no BFP we both came to the conclusion it wasn't happening and were genuinely OK with that so it stopped being a focus) . I tested a week ago, and I'm still really struggling to process the news. I still don't know how far along I am,7-9 weeks ish I think. I mean.. I'm healthy, our life is relatively stable and we'll manage fine financially.. but.. a baby 🥺 That's me now booked in on the school run until I'm almost a pensioner 😬 I was planning on a second career now that the children are more independent and going into secondary school. And what about the impact on the older children? I like doing stuff with them, and an 10 and 12 they can do a lot of stuff. It takes active work to keep a good relationship with them, and that's going to get harder as they go full into teens. I don't want to miss out on these years, because a baby soaks up all my time and attention instead. I think I'm also emotionally distancing myself from this baby until after the 10 week harmony scan because the risks of probs at my age are so high. Am hoping to feel a bit more positive after I get a scan 😐

fool11 · 18/05/2020 08:35

Congratulations. I'm currently 29w, 45, ivf baby..had my first at 40, at 40 i felt really young and full of energy, didn't even cross my mind that i will be an older mother, we were trying for another one but had a mmc 3y ago. At 45 i must admit it's much harder, i'm more tired, still working full time plus a 5y old now at home as schools are closed's not easy, but very happy that it worked for us. I've been called a 'geriatric' mum, and some people asked if it was an accident which was a bit upsetting. I had the harmony test and all came fine, my 5y dd is very excited about her baby brother, can't wait for all of us be together. Good luck.

winterfox78 · 28/05/2022 00:36

@Lloyd2003 I know this is an old post ...but I just wanted to see how it all went @Lloyd2003

I'm turning 44 in a couple of months and I'm trying for number 2 but feel I've left it too late. I don't know any mums who are in their 40's...

I had my first at 40.


goldenT · 18/10/2022 15:14

Congratulations, my 2 children were 16 & 13 when I got a shock at 39 that I was expecting, knowing that this baby well he 2 now is my last baby I've really treasured as much as I possible could, he keeps me young and active and tired but I wouldn't have it any other way, my older children absolutely adore there little brother he brought so much joy into our home. I'm not going to lie it a shock going back to sleepless nights but your get use to it and find your way.

momtoboys · 18/10/2022 15:21

Congratulations! I love stories like this! I was what was considered "advanced maternal age" (late 30s) my last two pregnancies and ended up with two sets of twins! More likely with older moms. 😁

HammerToFall · 19/10/2022 09:38

I'm 43 and having a section at 47 weeks on Friday due to GDM complications. We were told we couldn't have any naturally 22 years ago. Had three failed rounds of ivf and went into adopt our two children who are now 16 and 14. Finding out I was pregnant was the biggest shock of my life, but I feel like he's meant to be. Ive had an awful pregnancy due to my own stomach issues and in turn the gestational diabetes, he's been growing too much, not growing enough, stomach too big, then normal, then too much fluid etc etc. all the way along he's moved constantly and is going well. I genuinely think of him as my little Miracle baby.

On the age side i actually woek as an administrator on labour and delivery and over a third of our ladies are over 40. It really is the norm these days

HammerToFall · 19/10/2022 09:39

That's 37 weeks not 47! I couldn't do another ten weeks haha

hamjul · 19/10/2022 15:34

Hi OP I had my only son when i was 47, pregnant at 46 - not naturally, through IVF so not the same circumstance but he was a very much wanted baby who took years to arrive! Apart from the anxiety my pregnancy was pretty much text book. He is over 2 now and im knackered haha but all worth it :) good luck xx

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