Bad midwife. Can I change ?

[AnxiousKerry]

I'm 31 weeks and since the start of this pregnancy I've seen my midwife 3 times, mainly in the last 4 weeks. She says to come to her with concerns... Her phone is either off or she doesn't answer. She said if her phones off to send her a text and she'll reply when it's back on because she turns it off when she's not at work.
I text her... No replies. She says she'll text back with blood results...no text. I ask her about a concern, she says she's talk to her other midwives and get back to me..no texts.

The amount of times I've called triage for silly questions this pregnancy that she couldve answered in a little txt. I don't feel supported at all. I know things are crazy with the virus. But this was the same before that started.

The other day she had me in to take bloods, couldn't find a vein and was like... Hmm pretty sure this is an artery so I don't want to take from there. And then sent me to the maternity unit to have my bloods taken because she couldn't do it.

My question is can I change midwife? Is it too late in the pregnancy. How do I go about it. Lol she's a nice lady. And friendly the few times we've met. But I want one more supportive.

Change midwives. You absolutely can change. You're entitled to. Sorry she's been a bit shit OP

Yes you can. I just phoned my Dr's and said I wanted too.
Hope things improve for you x

'Pretty sure this is an artery..?!'

Yes you can.

What are the silly questions you have asked?

Is this your first pregnancy? If it is you should have been seen more than 3 times (or in my trust you would have I don't know if it varies). I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant with my third and only seen my midwife 2 times but had two consultant appointments which if I didn't need them would have been midwife appointments (and I would have had more appointments if I was a ftm).

Is there a switch board at your maternity unit you could ring? I would query about how many appoints you have had as that does sound worrying.

To be honest, as a midwife, this system of having a mobile number for your midwife and having them personally responsible for answering questions seems mental. Of course they switch their phones off out of hours, and I’d imagine many are only part time. Her caseload is probably 150 women. It’s not sustainable. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get what you need but it is a fairly ridiculous system. Is there not a community midwives office with a phone number you can call?

That's sounds frustrating!

I've had the same and I'm 21 weeks, other local gp surgeries having been open but typically mine hasn't (it shuts constantly for various reasons) my midwife has been crap I haven't actually met her yet. I've moved house fortunately and registered with a new practice and they sent a message to the midwife and she rung me on the same day and got me booked in for a telephone appointment.

So it might be worth changing

If it is you should have been seen more than 3 times (or in my trust you would have I don't know if it varies).

Assuming booing appointment straight away and no early pregnancy contact, 16 weeks, cancelled 25 week appointment due to Covid, 28 weeks, and 31 weeks follows national guidance. We are actually doing 16 week appointments as a phone consultation presently.

I don't have my midwife's number. We have a phone number that's central for the midwife group and that's contactable for two hours every morning. There's also an office number that's available during office hours, but usually you just leave a message on that. Also I can ring the surgery on the days that she's in and ask for a message to go through. After 24 weeks I think I'm allowed to just ring straight through to the hospital. Yours sounds like a poor system to be honest, and I don't think I'd blame the midwife for that. WRT silly questions, have you thought about getting a pregnancy book? Or looking on the NHS website? Or even asking on here?

The silly questions I asked (tried to ask) I had an awful cold and cough and few months ago. I wanted to know what was safe to take... Anything about stronger than paracetamol. Discharge I was worried about. Always seeing black spots.

This is my second pregnancy. So I knew my appointments would be allot less and I don't expect her to be at my beck and call every day. It's just the niggling questions you have every month or so. When I ask her something at an appointment shell say I'll talk to the other midwives and get back to you... Which means you won't hear from me again until next time. I had routine bloods taken and she said to text her when I've had them done and shell text me with the results whether it's good or bad...nothing lol I assume it's all good.

I can't imagine how busy they must be. I feel like I'm relatively calm this pregnancy. I'm not reaching out every week. It's like once in a blue moon I'll have a concern about something. I wouldn't be as annoyed if she gave me advice at appointments. But don't constantly tell me you'll get back to me if you have zero intention of doing so.

I know exactly how you feel and can completely understand why you would be frustrated! I had the same problems too, but in the end I moved house (just before the lockdown) so I also moved surgeries and got a new midwife. My new midwife is much more attentive than my previous one and more available. Depends how big your practice is but I'd ask to swap midwives if you can! X

Yes, change your midwife ... you dont have to stick with the one you have out of loyalty and it will be much better for you.

I had a male midwife and there was something more than him being "male" , I just didnt like him ... but I felt I should stick with him and try in case it was me, being prejudiced and maybe it was me ... , but the relief I felt when assigned a different midwife was v great and wish I'd done it much sooner: this is one of those times in your life where your wishes come first. Be brave and swop. Good luck.

Yep, you can swap. I had an old dragon lady with DC1 and she made me feel like crap on a regular basis. I put up with it because I was a young FTM and didn’t want to make a fuss. They gave me her again with DC2 so I phoned them up straight away to change, I couldn’t bear her again.

You don’t have to give any reasons. Just say you’d like to change midwives xx

I have gestational diabetes so as soon as that was diagnosed I was moved from my midwife to the diabetic midwife led care - don't get me wrong they're all very nice but focus solely on the diabetes - I haven't had anyone to ask any normal questions to - then when I was given my induction date at my 36 week scan I just had a junior consultant who again was nice enough but just pretty factual and blasé about the induction process - again I didn't really feel like I could ask any proper questions - so mumsnet and advice from friends has been invaluable! i'm sure once I'm at the labour ward having my induction I'll have the normal midwives again so can bombard them with questions :) good luck but defo ask to change if you feel really neglected