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One born every minute ... yikes!

29 replies

Rosebudx · 12/05/2020 11:11

Sooooo whichever of my friends told me to watch it to get ‘excited’ about birth was lying and I think I’m traumatised! 😂

As a first time mum with anxiety I was enjoying it at first but then started to see all the things that can go wrong and the last straw was watching a poor woman haemorrhage and I had to turn it off 🥴

Please tell me it is extremely dramatised like most things on telly because I am regretting my decision to watch a few episodes greatly haha! Maybe I’m just a wuss and in denial about the whole thing??

OP posts:
Bigearringsbigsmile · 12/05/2020 11:14

Stay away from it! Its "reality" tv !
The women always scream and spend their labours lying down and usually have nobhead dh's.

I have two sons and their births were such wonderful, exciting, positive experiences.

FOF44 · 12/05/2020 11:16

They're only going to show the more dramatic ones....the ones where its quick and easy (it does happen!) are not exciting enough!

Persipan · 12/05/2020 11:22

In order to make interesting television, they inevitably pick the more dramatic situations, or else edit and present then in such a way that the more dramatic elements are emphasised. So don't panic! (And maybe don't watch any more right now.)

NicNac100 · 12/05/2020 11:24

Do not watch it!!!
Instead read either The Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill or Hypnobirthing: Practical Ways to make your birth better by Siobhan Miller - both books are very empowering and make you feel so much more positive about the birthing experience (I was TERRIFIED beforehand)
Both authors also say programmes like OBEM use the most dramatic scenarios to make good TV! And that about 80% of births would be far too boring to televise :)

Gerdticker · 12/05/2020 11:29

Watch this instead and go and read hypnobirthing books! :) :) :)

Best birth video

MissHoney85 · 12/05/2020 12:23

Ah I love OBEM! I had to stop watching it when I was finding it hard to conceive but I'm looking forward to making my OH watch some with me further down the line - I think it will be a good education for him! I find it really interesting how different people respond to the situation. And there's always a happy ending!

Bells3032 · 12/05/2020 12:44

I thought the same thing. I started watching it last week and it was kind of boring tbh. Do people really scream that much? I didn't even scream when I felt my rib break in my back (not a peep from me). Does everyone scream? Will I just be quiet like usual? lol (my husband always jokes the only time I'm quiet is when I am in pain).

FYI my mum heamorraged when she gave birth to me and that was over 30 years ago. I am sure with medicine today it's a big deal but not quite as life threatening. both my mum and I came out healthy and happy.

MissHoney85 · 12/05/2020 12:53

There's a big variety in how people handle the situation on OBEM, they're not all screamers. Sometimes it's not what you would expect - the professional woman in her 30s might scream the place down and the 17 year old might do it all without a sound. I find it really emotional!

heroineinahalfshell · 12/05/2020 12:57

I've been watching Life and Birth on BBC - it doesn't seem overly dramatised, but they have picked the "interesting" pregnancies to follow.

My mum hemorrhaged with me too - I was 5 weeks early and they were so focussed on transferring me to NICU (which meant a change of hospitals) that they didn't notive she'd not passed the placenta. No lasting ill effects for either of us tho!

MichelleOR84 · 12/05/2020 13:44

I found my birth to be incredibly boring and quiet compared to that show . I had a few things go wrong but it wasn’t traumatic at all . If I was on that show they wouldn’t even air my episode because I just lay there, closed my eyes and laboured .

CoolNoMore · 12/05/2020 13:53

That's funny - I found it very reassuring! I must have watched at least five whole series. Apart from very few cases where they always know about an issue in advance, everything turns out fine. When my son was born floppy and not breathing, a crash team of roughly a million people came running in and I just calmly watched, assuming that this was normal and that he was going to be ok (he was!). I found out later that my husband was absolutely terrified and was dealing with that trauma for a long time afterwards. I should have made him watch it with me!

ShirleyPhallus · 12/05/2020 13:57

Step away from OBEM!! It is entirely dramatised and shows pretty much the worst way to give birth.

I’ve never heard such screaming as they show on there either!

Lorna198 · 12/05/2020 14:09

I’ve never watched any baby shows at all.
Decided I maybe should (22 weeks pg) and I watched life and birth on bbc. Well that opened my eyes! I really really need to find out more about births and options and all the rest of it!

Sleepyquest · 12/05/2020 14:10

I watched it just before I was pregnant and everyone told me not to watch it as it was unrealistic. I realise now, after giving birth myself, it is pretty unrealistic! But I love watching the babies arrive in the world. I'm enjoying the new series on bbc but it makes me sob x

onlyreadingneverposting8 · 12/05/2020 14:17

I've had 8 children. One emcs after indication for pre eclampsia, one nearly emcs, one forceps, one fast with an unprepared midwife who had no gloves on, one where baby needed oxygen at birth. Prepare for the unexpected is my advice but done be scared.

RedWine123 · 12/05/2020 14:19

I think I watched every single episode of OBEM during my third trimester. It made me really optimistic about labour and I booked the birthing pool at hospital thinking I was going to sigh my baby out.

So the time came, birthing pool was unavailable and 2 long days later I had an emergency c-section. That programme is witchcraft! However if it’s on I’ll still watch it and I still can’t help but have a little cry when the babies are born 🥺

Juno231 · 12/05/2020 14:32

@CoolNoMore I find it quite reassuring too! Most of the episodes I've watched have really de-dramatised birth for me and at times even made it looks easy I think. Two that come to mind were - a woman who regularly ran marathons so thought the pain of childbirth in comparison was nothing and she never said a peep when pushing!

The other one was a Polish lady who waltzed in 10cm dilated and they didn't even have time to fill up the pool before the baby pretty much fell out (it was her first baby, promise!) and again she made it look so simple.

LittleLeaps · 12/05/2020 14:38

I love OBEN but I do not recommend watching it whilst pregnant Grin or listening to any horror stories. Every birth is different, my first was an induction, over in 4 hours and I did it without pain relief, that's not to say I wouldn't have liked some but it all happened very quickly and I did manage without. My 2nd was an emergency C-section (not due to labour complications, I was just very unwell) and that was very scary but I had amazing midwives and doctors and actually it was fine. My expectations and fear of it all was definitely worse than the actual labour itself because I had allowed other people to fill my head with scary stories.

EventRider1 · 12/05/2020 14:50

The only similarity between my labour and OBEM was the screaming/mooing when it came to pushing 😂
I am normally a quiet person with a high pain threshold and didn't make a peep when I had a 600kg horse flip over on me, breaking my shoulder, collarbone and shoulder blade but the pain during labour, for me at least, was something else. I didn't have any pain killers though as my labour happened very quickly so there wasn't any time by the time the contractions went from uncomfortable to painful during the transition stage.
I know I wasn't the only one to scream that day and I heard at least two other ladies screaming once I was moved to the postnatal ward until the morning.
The best thing you can do is read up on labour or if you do want to watch videos, I found watching people's labour blogs very reassuring as most of them seemed lovely and calm experiences.

userabcname · 12/05/2020 14:54

I was fine watching it when pregnant but I can't stand watching anything to with childbirth since having babies! But then my first birth was an absolute shit show so that's probably why- I don't want to be reminded.

Rosebudx · 12/05/2020 15:01

I love seeing all the babies being born too! It’s so lovely, but after the few episodes I watched I sent myself into a sort of dispair thinking the worst 😂

One episode ended well but spoke about a previous baby the couple had lost at 25 weeks years before (I’m 26 weeks, cue hysterical crying and total panic about that happening to me!)

Maybe I’m just too anxious of a person to be watching these things while pregnant, pregnancy hormones deffo have not helped with my stress levels 🤦🏼‍♀️ I will give the bbc series a go though I have heard good things!

OP posts:
Babdoc · 12/05/2020 15:04

OP, no mother knows in advance how her labour will go, how painful it will be, or whether there will be potentially life threatening complications. That’s why we have hospitals, obstetricians, anaesthetists, crash teams, ITUs and NICUs.
You can take comfort from the fact that, if you have need of them, these professionals are all on site and ready to treat you.
Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst, is good advice.
My own second baby unexpectedly very nearly died at birth, despite being an 8lb full term baby and a normal delivery with no pain relief.
She arrived apnoeic and convulsing with barely a heartbeat, hemiplegic from a brain haemorrhage and required intracardiac adrenaline, intubation, 3 different anticonvulsants and was ventilated in NICU.
We got her home a week later and she never looked back. She’s 29 now, a fiercely intelligent graduate who runs half marathons!

Nowisthemonthofmaying · 12/05/2020 15:13

Op if you're anxious I would really recommend the Positive Birth Company's online hypnobirthing course - not 'woo' at all, it gives you loads of information about labour and birth and lots of breathing tools to help you feel calm and confident. She specifically recommends staying away from OBEM as it's so dramatic! A lot of births would just be too quiet and calm to put on TV.

Macbless · 12/05/2020 15:20

The positive birth company also have loads of videos on YouTube that show different births and tools you can use to stay calm.
I'm a FTM and I found them really helpful. Yes some people do have traumatic births but if you can stay positive and calm I'm sure that will help! Xx

Aly88 · 12/05/2020 15:54

All births are completely different. Personally, I watched and read everything that I could about good and bad experiences and asked everyone I knew what their experiences were like. It gave a good spectrum of what it might be like!
My own birth experience ended up being a whirlwind - less than 4 hours from waters breaking with no contractions to my little lady being born. There was no time for pain relief as midwives did not believe I was in active labour.
As others have suggested I STRONGLY advise looking into hypnobirthing - this and a TENS machine got me through it with no intervention and no tearing!
My best friend however had her baby 12 days before me and had a long, painful experience with a post partum haemorrhage so it is luck of the draw! However, she approached the whole experience with terror, fear and anxiety and I really believe this had some effect on the births we had.
Be prepared for anything but know that your body was designed for this and you will know what to do when the time comes and you can do this! Also, don't worry about whether you scream, moo, shout or poo - the midwives have seen it all and you do you! X

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