Am I ok to tell people after the 10 week scan?

[MrsVParker]

Hi Everyone,

I have a scan on Saturday and I hope it all goes ok. I’ll be 10 weeks.

Do you think it will be ok to tell family then? I have seen a heart beat at 7+5, do the odds of anything going wrong drop a lot at 10 weeks?

Thanks for your kind advice.

@FourPlasticRings it depends where you get your data from. Most of the peer reviewed papers I read and statistics for the United kingdom say between 98-99 Percent after seeing a heartbeat at ten weeks

Well, if you round up 97.5 you get 98. But miscarriage isn't your only risk to consider if you're talking about actually getting a live baby home. You've also got to consider fetal anomaly, stillbirth, birth complications... There were over 3,000 abortions due to risk of severe mental/physical disability in 2018. Compared to the number of life births (statistically unsound, I know, but I haven't found the number of pregnancies) that's about 0.45%- I'd be surprised if, with all factors considered, the odds of a live baby are 99% by 10 weeks.

Anyway, bit of a de-rail. The advice remains the same, OP, something can go wrong at any point. Many people wait until 12 weeks to announce publicly but I think most tell immediate family before that for reasons of support/excitement. It's a personal decision.

When you tell people is deeply personal.

It depends on how you think you will feel if you have to tell them bad news a few weeks later.

I'd 2 mc before dd and was dx with endo too so dds pregnancy was high risk throughout.

For me I didn't feel comfortable telling anyone (except work in case I took unwell there as 2nd mc was also partly ectopic and even then I only told my boss who'd also had mcs) until I was at least 14 weeks as that's when the first trimester really ends which is the highest risk time.

But even then we only told immediate family then told close friends around 5.5 months as I was starting to show, then gradually everyone else.

First pregnancies I think are higher risk too?

To be honest I didn't even start to relax until I/she was at a viable stage and even then only a little. Even when she was born didn't relax straight away (difficult birth for both and she was in scbu for a while)

But she is a big lump of 19 now!

It's just hard not to worry especially if you've been through loss before, and actually there's very little you can do to prevent.

Try to enjoy as best you can, take it easy and in all likelihood all will be well

We'd been trying for 2 years so when we got a positive test I immediately told my sisters. After an early scan which showed me at 6+2 and a heartbeat we told our parents and a couple of close friends. Unfortunately it ended in a missed miscarriage but we are extremely grateful that those people knew as they've been such a great support during an awful time. I know the medical reasons for waiting until at least 12 weeks but for me I feel if you want to tell someone before, tell them. As long as you know they're going to be just as supportive if you go to them with the worst case scenario. Fingers crossed everything goes well for you, congratulations!