Pregnancy in lockdown. Feelings

[Benilyn]

I found out I was pregnant at the start of lockdown. I’ve wanted to have a baby for as long as I can remember but now I’m pregnant I really don’t feel happy about it. I know hormones can affect you but never expected it like this. I keep telling myself that it’s because I’ve been stuck in for nearly 7 weeks that I feel like this. I’ve got to the point of convincing myself it’s not happening, I think the only thing that will convince me otherwise will be at the scan. Even the booking in appointment didn’t convince me this is happening. I keep wondering whether a private scan would help. I just wondered if anyone else was in a similar boat?

I completely feel the same! We tried for a long time and it's a very much wanted first baby however finding out at the start of lockdown has made it feel a bit flat. I really want to feel more excited but I'm just full of worry about the current situation and how things are going to progress/how it's going to make preparing for a baby more difficult etc

I found out I was pregnant last weekend and I have to say I am a lot more worried now about this pandemic. I am thankful tho that I am furlough at the moment so I can deal with this awful morning sickness that's hit from the moment I found out. I'm 6weeks btw. Also very apprehensive about the appointments and whether my partner will be able to attend with me as it's our first baby

Same here OP! I still can't quite believe I'm pregnant and I have my 20 week scan tomorrow and it's only now that I'm getting a little excited and I've already had 2 scans!
I haven't been able to enjoy my pregnancy, as the first 12 weeks I kept it to myself and DH and the last 8 weeks I've been stuck indoors!
I've not been able to share my pregnancy journey with my friends and family! It's basically been crap!
Personally I think you're normal and I think there are a lot of us that feel the way you do.
I'm just seriously hoping that things will be somewhat back to normal by the time baby comes in September!
Pregnancy Hormones and lockdown are not a good combo! 😫

Same here. We had been trying for a year but now I feel quite ambivalent and flat about it.

I’m 24 weeks so I got pregnant before all the madness but still being pregnant in the midst of it all is so hard and I feel for you. I’ve had a rough time and had a terrible infection at 10 weeks pregnant and ever since then I’ve been an nervous wreck . I’ve had 5 scans, all perfectly fine and it’s only the past week or so when baby girl has been a right little wiggle bum that it feels real. I think you’ll feel better if you have a private scan , but if you’re anything like me they made me feel ok for a few days then I felt bad again.
It’s perfectly normal to feel the way you do , speak out to anyone you trust as that really helps . Hopefully when you’re due the madness will have settled xx

I'm 15 weeks.. really negative experience at 12 week scan as partner was unable to come in.. I'm constantly worried about contacting midwife as don't want to hassle her. But I'm grateful I haven't been at work for past 8 weeks as I have been so tired and morning sickness too, don't know how I would've coped at work as they are not understanding at all!

I would book private scan for peace of mind. I am still worried about appointments etc. I've found out more info from pregnant women further along than me than from my actual interactions with nhs staff.. not good!

I'm a FTM and 26+3 and can definitely say that pregnancy isn't what I imagined it would be!

I fell pregnant before coronavirus but still remember having feelings of doubt and wondering, did I really want this baby, could I cope, had I made a mistake etc.... and judging by a lot of threads I've seen on MN, I think that's pretty normal...even when the baby is very much longer for and you've been TTC for a long time. I don't think it's particularly CV related, I think it's more to do with weird pregnancy hormones.
Scan anxiety and worry also seems to be the norm.

Of course CV has then added another layer of anxiety/uncertainty to the equation. The drop in face to face appointments, attending scans alone, worrying about ante natal care, worrying about the birth, not being able to see family and friends and share the excitement of being pregnant. That sucks.

I just try and stay positive as much as I can. I'm happy I'm off work as I'm tired a lot and can actually relax and put my feet up without feeling too guilty. I'm also enjoying having time to myself before the madness descends.
I truly believe that things will be different in a few months time when I give birth so I don't mind sacrificing a few things now to enable that to hopefully happen.

34weeks today.
I'm just so thankful my 20week scan was in January.
I really feel for you all having to go on your own now to scans, i had reduced movements last sunday and i had to go be monitored on my own.
It's really not how i ever pictured my first pregnancy and i feel abit robbed, i hope by 21st June things are slightly relaxed and we can have 2 people at birth as I'd love my mam to be there but what will be will be.

Thank you so much for everyone getting back to me! Oddly enough I feel a bit better that it’s not just me who feels like it! @FirstTimeMumAt31 the booking in appointment was a strange experience for me, most of it was over the phone! I am also a FTM so no idea what it’s usually like

I'm a FTM and I've never felt so alone! What I imagined pregnancy to be a happy experience is the complete opposite. I had a bad early scan experience, all was well but the sonographer had no sympathy and I did not like the way she spoke to me. My booking in appointment was over the phone and I felt like it was rushed and there are so many questions I have piling up I don't know who contact about as she said I won't be assigned a midwife or see a midwife in person until 25 weeks. I have my 12 week scan Thursday and the thought of it makes me cry. Although my partner can't come in he's excited and will be waiting in the car but I feel so nervous for if anything is wrong I'm on my own with no support!

I'm pregnant with my 2nd and having my 20 week scan today. I've really struggled with this pregnancy in terms of getting excited and being so anxious.
From conversations with other mum's it seems a lot of people are feeling the same, lockdown is hard enough as it is without having to deal with morning sickness boredom, anxiety, crazy hormones etc.

I think if in any situation you always expected to have a certain level of support and then not to have it makes it harder and disappointing. I got a bit hormonal when they d forgotten to tell me my booking appointment had to been changed to over the phone and did breathing exercises before my 12 week scan as I was nervous alone.
My family and friends are 100 miles away so I d hoped to travel to tell my mum in person and wasn't able to but I knew we d be doing most of this just us so I think that's made it easier for me.

However, they were so wonderful at my 12 week scan and the appointment bi had afterwards, that it made me feel more confident about doing the rest of my appointments alone. I ve come up with an idea to tell DH the gender in a fun way as it's likely that I will have my 20 week scan next month alone.

I feel so reassured hearing you're all feeling similar things. I've got a couple of friends who keep telling me how I need to be enjoying this time! They just don't understand the sense of feeling robbed of the pregnancy experience you imagined!

@raindrop84 honestly I'm getting similar! It's nice to know we're not in it alone. Some days I think it's easier because at least being stuck at home I'm not having to experience it at work without being able to tell anyone but equally it would get me out of my head!

@Benilyn I completely understand, I had a private scan last week hoping that it would help me feel more reassured and excited but I just felt really sad that my husband couldn't be with me. I've got my 12 week scan in a couple of weeks and hoping that it will make it feel more real when we can tell more people. I really want to enjoy it but I can't help feeling robbed of the experience I imagined.

I'm 21+6 and haven't seen my family since I was 7 weeks pregnant as I live a 2 hour drive from them. It's disappointing not to be able to share this special time with them but I'm just trying to get on with it really as I don't realistically see when I'll be able to see them yet. DH couldn't come to my 20 weeks scan which has actually been the thing that I've felt was most a shame because he wanted to see our baby! We wouldn't go for a private scan at this stage as it doesn't really seem an "essential journey".

@raindrop84 think you're about a week ahead of me. I keep weighing up whether to have a private scan but just can't settle whether to go for it or not. In all honesty I am not enjoying this experience. I always thought I would but right now I'm really not

@Benilyn For me the private scan was bitter sweet, it was nice to get the reassurance that the baby was developing as expected and there was a heartbeat etc but it also felt sadly flat as my husband couldn't attend and the atmosphere at the clinic just felt very serious with everyone in PPE. It felt very functional and that they wanted to get me in and out ASAP. It wasn't the joyous first look at my baby I imagined.

Im 39 weeks pregnant and really feeling sad about the way it's all happened! I know that's silly and we're just blessed to be safe and well but I wanted to do lots of things, especially things with just me and my partner, before baby comes. Anxiety is also at a silly high. I haven't been looking forward to meeting baby at all which makes me feel so guilty. And the fact my partner can't be with me the whole time I'm in hospital makes it worse. It's hard OP. Hugs x

@raindrop84 I may just hold out then for the 12wk scan. Convinced myself it's not happening so I can at least settle my mind. When I first found out it was all consuming. The only thing I could think about and was desperate to get a scan then to make sure everything was alright but now I'm not consumed about it I think I can get to 12 wk. To be honest I'm feeling a bit negative about it all, wishing I wasn't when I was so desperate to be ☹️

@BeyOnceBeyTwice good luck! You'll be so happy once you meet your little one. I think no matter what stage we're at we're all being robbed one way or another but as long as both you and baby are safe and well this time will fade

Just dropping in to say I think this is really normal, to feel this way, pandemic or not. I remember with my first it didn't hit home for me until the bump appeared and I could feel them move. I also don't enjoy pregnancy much and we had been trying for a long time. I expected to float through on an overjoyed bubble but I find it a very anxious time. The pandemic and the throught of things 'not being normal' can only amplify that.

I'm really sad for you that you are not getting the 'regular' first pregnancy experience at the moment, but hopefully by the time you give birth some things might be a bit more 'normal' than now.

I've not seen OH for 10 weeks when I was just over 17 weeks as he's on lockdown in another country.
Him not being at the scans is the least of my worries, I don't even know if travel restrictions will be lifted in time for the birth in August 😔
It's a sad time for both of us, especially as this is our first baby but nothing we can do.

@RenegadeMrs I don't think any pregnant ladies are getting the 'normal' pregnancy experience 😢
At my 12 week scan it was all very tense and the staff at the hospital just looked terrified! There was no welcoming smile when I came in just a boat load of questions before they let me through the door. The sonography was telling me how terrified she was about going home to her kids, but she was super lovely at the same time! Just not the warm fuzzy feeling I expected and not to have DH holding my hand and us watching the screen together was heartbreaking.
I have my 20 week scan this afternoon and DH isn't allowed in the hospital, let alone the waiting area with me. He's being left in the car.
Whilst I totally understand the precautions being taken, again, I'm supposed to be practically skipping into my 20'week appointment with a beaming smile and excited for me and DH to see baby again, but it's quite the opposite.
The atmosphere is going to be so strange and no sense of excitement, just people looking at you in pure fear that you don't get too close!
I've had serious anxiety since I woke up this morning and it's such a shame! I really feel for all ya mummies to be right now!
As well as the new mummies that can't have their friends and family round to visit their new bundle of joy!

Sorry, I'll stop now! Just feeling like shit today! 😭😭

@lockdownpregnancy oh I know, I'm 32 weeks pregnant myself, and have up days and down days. I didn't mean anything other than exactly what I said, I'm sorry that everyone is not having a normal pregnancy experience from the NHS and pregnancy is often an anxious time even without all the covid stuff, which is only making things worse.

I'm really sorry you are feeling anxious and your partner is missing out on the scans. I think its a terrible shame, especially for those with their first babies. I hope you feel a bit better tomorrow. Xx

Thank you for tour lovely words @RenegadeMrs. I had my scan and it was exactly as I thought, weird, cold and not welcoming at all!!
However, once I got called in the sonographer happened to be the same lady I had at my 12 week scan, as well as her colleague and they were soooooooo lovely! They both made such an effort to make the experience as brilliant as it could have been! It was definitely the best it could have been without DH there. We had a right giggle and a laugh, shared stupid pregnancy cravings and silly things we've done whilst pregnant. They made me feel so relaxed and I had a wonderful experience with both of them. Baby is healthy and as wriggly as ever and baby is also a boy so I just sobbed with joy when they told me!
Whilst the waiting area feels like you're about to be put down, the actual scan was brilliant!
Got back to my car and me and DH had an amazing moment together when I told him we were having a boy!
I came home so happy and elated! Fingers crossed the rest of my pregnancy carries on going so well!

I just hope everyone else has a similar experience to me! 🥰🥰