When to tell?

[Reynholm]

I'm 5 weeks pregnant and haven't told anyone but my DH. I'm struggling with when to tell. It's my second one. Obviously I am feeling much more anxious as this is in the middle of a global pandemic. One of my siblings has also been struggling with conceiving and I'm actually worried that hiding this from her will piss her off.

Things could go wrong and I'd appreciate their support if it did. At the same time it's easy to keep to myself right now.

Sorry, I hit submit too early.

But I also want to tell my family and close friends to share the news a bit. We'd been trying for a year and ironically had decided to pause last month. I am pleased but so so anxious and I feel like telling people might actually help my anxiety.

I am very close to my siblings. I do know my sister would be upset privately but she would also be very pleased and would possibly be quite upset that I felt I needed to "protect" her.

What would you do? When did you tell close people?

@reynholm I would say do whatever makes you more comfortable. This is your journey. I fell pregnant at the beginning of the year and told my close family and friends the day I found out. I was around 2 weeks pregnant... I'm so glad I did. I then had a missed miscarriage and without their support and love, I don't think I would have been able to cope as well as I did and I'm glad I can share my emotions with them and not hide my story. When I have the blessing of falling pregnant again, I would 100% tell the same people again. I know they were there through the rough times and I am excited to hopefully share the good times with a healthy pregnancy next x

Thank you. So sorry about your MMC.

I guess I'm not sure what I'm comfortable with yet. This time around feels so different, not in a good way. I think I feel so isolated anyway because of lockdown part of me wants to at least share this experience with people in some way.

I didn’t tell anyone other than my line manager until I was 17 weeks. Do what suits you.

I told my mum and my two closest friends - although in hindsight telling one of them was a complete waste of time..

It's up to you though really

I'm in the same boat! I'm 5+5 and have only told my parents and obviously my partner. I had two recurrent miscarriages last year so I can't help but have anxiety during this pregnancy. I don't regret telling my friends and colleagues on my last pregnancy as they were a fantastic support when I miscarries but I now don't want to tell anyone as I'm scared their excitement will jinx it again for me... silly I know! In isolation it feels more lonely but also easier to hide the pregnancy e.g not drinking! X

In regards to your sister, that is a tough situation. Like you said, it could upset her but I think put the shoe on the other foot... you probably wouldn't want her feeling this turmoil about not telling you. I think there will be emotion from her no matter when you tell her.

Hi,
I just wanted to offer my personal experience. Both me and my sister were trying to conceive at the same time, I've managed to fall pregnant and my sister hasn't. Like you I am very close to my siblings and understand the struggle of whether to tell or not as I know she would be emotional for all sorts of reasons. I decided to tell her when I was six weeks so she had time to get her head around it before I tell other people so she has her own time to deal with her feelings without having to hide them. I know it was early to tell but she is also the person I would want to talk to if something does go wrong.

Hope this helps.

Thank you