Seeing new born baby after post mortem **Content warning**

[BabyAmmu]

I have lost my first baby at 4 days old 2 months back. The post mortem is done and hospital funeral will be with in 2-3 weeks time. I have mixed feelings on seeing her again (body being decomposed etc). If you had similar experience please help. Thanks

I am so sorry for your loss. I believe that if you have been offered to see her then steps will have been taken to prevent decomposition.

My baby was stillborn and I never looked at her, I just wanted to run away. It is something I always regretted.

I am so sorry for your loss..I haven't lost a child but a husband who had a postmortem done. They embalm the body to prevent decomposition for family to have time with their loved one...My heart goes out to you..Sending lots of hugs xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I haven't experienced this, but I know a bit about the process. She will not be decomposed, her body will have been kept at static temperature to prevent this. She might be dressed with a hat on to hide the post mortem scars. You can speak to someone in the mortuary or funeral home (depending on where she will be before the funeral) about your fears and you can ask them to send you a digital photo before you see her in person, if you think that might help. I imagine how you are feeling is very typical, have you had any bereavement counselling?

Just to add that it is not usually possible to embalm a baby, but this would never be done (in the UK) without your consent anyway. You may have the chance to keep her with you at home or in a mortuary chapel of rest for a while in a Cuddle Cot, again if this is something you might like ask the mortuary if it is possible.

I’m very sorry for your loss. Have you spoken to the bereavement midwife at the hospital or the funeral director at the crematorium? When my son died in a stillbirth we had the funeral about 8 weeks after his passing (after the post mortem) and the casket was sealed.
We debated whether we should go to the funeral or not - and I am personally very glad we did. Years later we have so few memories of him to hold on to that every second feels precious.

Op - what are you scared of?
I had a full-term stillborn baby and saw her 24 hours after birth (I’d been a coma).
I was terrified but she was beautiful.
But when it came to the funeral I requested a closed coffin.
Can I help you at all??