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Wanting a baby

8 replies

Fraanne · 09/05/2020 20:04

Hi all, this is the first time I have ever done anything like this!

I’m 23 and have several fertility issues (endometriosis and adenomyosis) I am under a consultant for 4 years for this! Me and my partner have been together for 3/4 years now and because of the issues I have I know I don’t have as much chance conceiving as I get older but recently I have been slightly obsessed of having a baby and I get upset-/ jealous (nice jealous) of my friends having children, which is silly as I know my time will come

My question is if you have children when did you know you were ready for them? Also if any one has the same conditions as me was it hard to conceive? 😊

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London91 · 09/05/2020 20:18

Hey,

I think as long as you're in a stable relationship, have a stable income and home then you should go for it!

I knew I would have trouble conceiving as I had a large part of one of my ovaries removed years ago, and the other ovary was found to be polycystic. So I decided at 25 to start trying. I'm glad I decided to try sooner rather than later as I have had 3 miscarriages and was later found to have endometriosis. I had surgery last year to have that and a large amount of scar tissue removed and luckily conceived just a few months later. I'm now 24 weeks pregnant. I'm now 28, it's taken nearly 4 years to get to this point.

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Fraanne · 09/05/2020 20:24

Thank you for replying so quickly London91 Yes both stable jobs and have brought a house last year so financially stable! Plus my partner is ready when I am as he is 29 so that bit older than me! I’ve had 2 surgeries so far and one fairly recently so I don’t want to wait too long before trying just incase!

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London91 · 09/05/2020 20:37

No worries. I think there's nothing to stop you.

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lockdownpregnancy · 10/05/2020 08:40

Hi OP! Personally I don't think anyone is 'ready' for a baby. I'm 35 and 20 weeks pregnant and still think to myself on a daily basis 'are we ready for this?!?!'
I think if you have a chat with your partner about it and then go speak with your doctor or specialist.
Some people try for years (like pp) and finally get there which is amazing. Some are not so fortunate.
You also need to consider the strain it will have on your relationship. Many couples have crumbled as their entire lives are consumed with TTC. Some come out stronger and better than ever, so you must also take this into consideration.
I truly hope that you conceive quickly with minimal issues and wish you both all the best for the future 🥰🥰🥰

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squashie34 · 10/05/2020 09:13

Hi @Fraanne I’m 30 and too have stage 4 Endometriosis and adenomyosis.. I've had 6 surgeries and the last one was in May last year which was very extensive as it was on my bowel, ovaries, bladder and muscles. I was always told that I shouldn't leave it too late to conceive as it could take years.. anyway, I fell pregnant just 6 months after that last op the first month we tried with unprotected sex, and I'm now 28 weeks! So I would say it doesn't mean your fertility is definitely affected and don’t base that as your sole decision! My partner and I thought it would take quite a while so we're a bit shocked it would be the first month but now over the moon! 😆

Best of luck! I should also say that until about 4 weeks ago (the baby being bigger is now stretching my bowel adhesions and is causing some endo pain) all my endo symptoms went away completely.. it was glorious to have no endo pains for months having had it since I was 18!

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mouse1234567 · 10/05/2020 09:22

Hi -I’m a lot older than you but have polycystic ovaries and endo
And possible andenonyosis. Was trying to conceive natural for a few years -had a lap in this time. In the end I did need two round of IVF but now pregnant 35 weeks . I’m 34.

There is lots they can do to help and you are still so young in fertility terms -and age is the most important factor. They considered me to be quite young too! Also -I read that 2/3 of people with endo don’t struggle to get pregnant-so who knows?

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mouse1234567 · 10/05/2020 09:26

Also just to reassure you jealously is completely natural -it is a really tough time watching people conceive seemingly easily when you are trying everything you can and not having success. You can be happy for others but sad for you. Good luck.

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Superscientist · 10/05/2020 13:31

I put off pregnancy because I was in a high stress role and was often working 60-70 hour weeks and my mental health was unstable as a result. Fast forward a few years I'm in a lower stress job with normal hours, my mood was stable and my partner and I had bought a house together.

When you are ready is different for everyone but I think stability is key in terms of job, relationship, housing and income. Then you just have to decide when to take the plunge. It took us about 3 months to go from deciding we want to try to conceive before me coming off contraception.