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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Positive stories of a 5 year age gap...

21 replies

Mummyspider27 · 08/05/2020 19:42

As the title says really! It wasn’t our planned age gap, but after 4 rounds of IVF it’s what we will have! Already seeing some benefits but would love to hear some experiences x

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ivfgottostaypositive · 08/05/2020 19:47

I'm not quite there yet - hopefully have a final round of IVF to start in 2 weeks - if it works then there will be a 5 year gap - I always wanted 2 years but nothing in life works out as planned and nothing can do about it now! 🤣

In my head I think the benefits will be - DD is out of nappies and more independent so won't have two very young children to care for at the same tine. Financially it's a MASSIVE benefit - full time childminder for DD is £900 a month but she'll be starting school from September so we'd be back to just having one child in childcare.

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LatteLover12 · 08/05/2020 19:49

There's five years between my two and they're fab together. My eldest loves being 'big brother' and they play together nicely.

Now pregnant with DC3 and there'll be an 8 year age gap!

Family is family ❤️

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HerRoyalCarbyLess · 08/05/2020 19:51

My oldest is now 11 and my middle child is 6.
It has been brilliant having a big gap.
He was old enough to understand that the baby needed feeding immediately and could entertain himself for a bit if need be. He also loved being involved, and as she grew, trying to get her to crawl , then take her first steps etc.
Theyre still fantastic together now. (There's a younger one too) he reads to the little ones, was teaching DD to ride her bike, plays minecraft with them, shows them how to do everything they need. Its really sweet. Hes awesome with them.
And they adore their big brother. Properly adore him. Just now, putting the younger ones to bed, he came upstairs with us and as I was tucking one in and having a cuddle, he was with the other doing the same, then we swapped. He loves saying goodnight to them and having a sneaky hug still.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

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ElectricTonight · 08/05/2020 19:54

My eldest is 7 and my second is 2, lovely together my 7yo is always saying how funny and cute her little brother is, she loves being a big sister, she was really loving towards him when he was born, loved getting involved with choosing an outfit for the day, and the little things like that. It made the jump from 1 to 2 rather pleasant aswell as my daughter was more Independed on the sense of getting dressed, going to the toilet etc nothing like the jump from 2-3 with a 15month age gap 😂

Congratulations OP, you will feel very happy ♥️

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Ginfilledcats · 08/05/2020 19:57

Can't comment from a parent POV but my sister is 5 years younger than me. We have an amazing relationship, always have done. Sure there were a few difficult years around when I was 13 and she was 8 - hormones and me being too grown up to play with a little kid, and then when she was 13 and I was 18 and I wanted to go out drinking etc and she was a hormonal mess. But aside from a few sibling arguments we got on great. I understood when mum brought her home from hosp and could help/reliably play on my own etc, and was in school all day so mum had 1-1 time with baby and then got her to nap when I came in so we had 1-1.
My husband has 18 months between him and his brother and they barely talk, don't fight like but have never been close.

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Losingitihope · 08/05/2020 19:58

Almost 5 year gap here.They absolutely adore each other, hopefully an old enough gap to not be competitive but little enough gap to still play and be close growing up!

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Sally872 · 08/05/2020 20:01

5.5 years between mine. Wasn't the plan but has many benefits. As a newborn eldest helpful and understood times baby needed me and we would get time together later.

As a toddler she loved teaching him and seeing him grow. Now age 10 and 4.5 years they have many different interests, but much more in common than I expected, a lot of time doing separate activities but also play well as youngest happy to follow older sisters lead, many benefits for them both and they are very close.

Would highly recommend that age gap.

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Mummyspider27 · 08/05/2020 20:03

Thank you so much everyone, this has made me a bit emotional and so excited!! My daughter is already so involved feeling kicks and seeing the bits we have bought for her brother. It’s been so lovely to read your experiences xx

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Iwantacookie · 08/05/2020 20:03

5.5 years between my middle and my youngest. It's like having your first all over again because your "out" of babies.
I liked having the school run as I found it gave my day alot more structure to get up and dressed. Is a killer first few weeks though.
You can get older dc more involved and give them jobs that only they could do.

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mnahmnah · 08/05/2020 20:09

Five years exactly between our boys, who are 8 and 3. They do fight sometimes, like any siblings will, but they love each other and can play together really nicely. They are currently cuddled up together watching a film for their sleepover, very cute. The eldest likes being the big brother, teaching his brother, guiding him etc. The youngest idolises his big brother and wants to be in his gang with his friends. It was great when I had the youngest, as the eldest had started school so I had all day with just him as a baby. It was nice doing the school run on mat leave, getting to know other parents and settling him into school. Looking at them you wouldn’t necessarily know there is such a big gap either. Nobody ever comments on the gap. It’s worked out great!

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mnahmnah · 08/05/2020 20:11

Oh, also, the eldest could take care of himself when I had the youngest, making bath and bed easier than two closer together. He could get up and get himself dressed, get his own breakfast, while I was dealing with the firsts few months and their chaos!

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JPlusTwo · 08/05/2020 20:29

There are 5 years between my sister and I, and we have always been really close.
There are 4 years between my son and my daughter, they’re 5 and 15 months now and the love between them is like nothing else. They so often just pile on top of each other and lay there hugging. My son is always so happy to chat to her, read to her, loves to teach her things and she totally dotes on him. Has also made it easier for me to manage in the sense that my son has a good amount of independence so can entertain himself if needed when nappy changing/breastfeeding etc. I think I’d have struggled if the gap had been any smaller, it allowed me to really enjoy my son and give him lots of 1:1 time to learn and develop and grow before my daughter was born.
Congratulations, wishing you lots of happiness for the years ahead

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TheShapeJaper · 08/05/2020 20:31

Not five years but four. Today they’ve spent pretty much the whole day riding their bikes together. They’re best friends (most of the time).

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Halfling · 08/05/2020 20:31

My two boys are 5 years apart. IMO its a great age gap and I wouldn't have it any other way. DS1 has never been jealous of DS2 and was quite independent by the time DS2 arrived. They didn't play much with each other in the early years but now that they are older they are best mates and thick as thieves.

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Mummyspider27 · 09/05/2020 08:17

Such lovely stories and experiences, so glad I asked xx

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zscaler · 09/05/2020 08:58

My husband and his brother have a 5 year age gap and always got on well, as children and as adults. We aren’t quite as close to him as we are to my siblings who are nearer to us in age, but that’s also because they’re just very different people. But they have a good, happy relationship and always have done.

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mouse1234567 · 09/05/2020 09:10

My cousins have a five year gap and they are some of the closest siblings I know! Growing up they looked after the younger one and now they are older it makes no difference at all.

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acquiescence · 09/05/2020 09:11

We had a 2 year age gap between our dc and then our younger child died last year. We are now expecting number 3 and there will be just under a 5 year age gap. I’ve had a lot of sadness about it but I’m feeling quite positive now. I loved having a 2 year gap but it was bloody hard work. My 4 year old is now so mature and clever. He will have started school and I will have peaceful time with the baby and we can do things together after school. I know he will help and be kind and not require the intensive attention that a toddler does but hopefully we can still do things he enjoys with the baby in a sling.
I was one of those who said ‘it’s so lovely having a small gap, it’s just what we wanted’ and now I feel so silly for being smug and thinking I had control over how life turns out.

In a personal note my younger brother is 7.5 years younger than me. We weren’t close growing up but got on very well and I liked helping with him. We are now very close as adults.

All the best with your pregnancy OP, I hope your big girl is excited. It sounds like she will be a lovely big sister.

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Straysocks · 09/05/2020 09:15

5 years between my sister & I. I remember well how she protected and encouraged me when we were small. Five years between my children, the love they have between them is the sweetest thing in my life. They adore each other. At 5 they can understand the baby's needs and will probably advocate for the baby to you. The little one is obsessed with the older one. Agree with PP that the school run was a welcome structure to the day plus you also get a lot of 1-2-1 time with the baby when they are at school.

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Straysocks · 09/05/2020 09:18

@acquiescence So sorry that your little one died, what a huge loss. Best wishes for number 3 and the joy the will bring

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Mummyspider27 · 09/05/2020 17:35

@acquiescence thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry for what you have been through xxx

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