Body dysmorphia at 20 weeks making me seriously anxious....any advice?

[Duesept20]

This is a slightly tough subject for me...But I'm hoping this is a safe place to ask this...

Has anyone dealt with body dysmorphia whilst pregnant?

I have a history of body dysmorphia and I'd managed to soften it a bit in the last few years....but since being pregnant it's gone through the roof.

I recently lost weight, and am COVERED in stretch marks from being overweight as it is.....let alone what I'll be like with a baby (20 weeks currently). I used to go on my rowing machine every day but I physically can't do it anymore and havent done since xmas when I fell pregnant. I've been for 3 mile walks 5 or 6 times a week but that's about all I can manage at the moment. My arms feel like they are getting massively flabby, so are my thighs, and I'm having a hard time coming to terms with feeling my body get bigger. Im 6 foot 2, so I've never felt very feminine as it is! I'm refusing to be naked in front of my own husband at the moment because it terrifies me.

Has anyone else dealt with this? And do you have any advice for trying to calm it?

Thank you ❤

Sorry, no experience but didn't want to read and run. It may be worth talking to your midwife or gp to ask for mental health support if you haven't already, they'll be best placed to guide you through this. It's great that you're talking about it. Hopefully someone else will come along soon to give some more advice or have had experience in this.

Yes - I really struggle, all I can say is you are carrying a little baby who you need to everything you can for to keep healthy. If you keep that in your head it will get you through the next few months. Is there any reason why you can’t go for a gentle row? Maybe try some YouTube - stretching / yoga / body balance exercises - though be careful not to overstretch during pregnancy. Eat more fruit / veg, get as much fresh air as possible and that will also help you.

Oh bless you. I'm similar. I'm very tall too and currently 10 weeks and I already hate myself. It's so difficult being tall because you feel so conspicuous all the time. I've actually been sleeping separately from my husband because I'm so self conscious and feel the need to at least do my hair and makeup before he sees me. Obviously I have no advice but offering

I'm 29 weeks and have struggled a bit too. I've only gained 9lbs but I feel like a whale and struggling with the changes in my body.

Some days it doesn't seem to bother me but other days it can really get me down. I walk an hour a day and eat very healthily. That's all I can do.

That's all you can do too really, your body is going to do what it needs to do. Have a talk with your midwife and ask to be referred to the perinatal mental health team x

I can relate to this. Would like to see what advice there is on here 💖

Hello - I can relate to this too

I’m in my second pregnancy, but size was a big issue in my first

I weighed myself all the time and fretted about how fat I was every day. I look back at the couple of photos I have from that time, and can see how ridiculous I was being - I look like a normal healthy pregnant woman

It doesn’t help that our society still thinks it’s ok to comment on a woman’s shape and size - Your bump is either too big, too small, high or low. Never just right! It’s such bollocks!

I’m so glad you asked this question - I just wanted to say I hear you, and you look bloody awesome to me. And Walking 3 miles most days is fantastic!

Can you talk to your husband a little about it? Does he realise how you feel?

I hope you can put this stuff aside for a few minutes and enjoy your pregnancy occasionally. It’s such a precious time, and such a privilege too.
You’re brilliant x

Hello @Duesept20, don’t know if I can give much useful advice, but really wanted to comment- I’m 6’2 too and I’ve struggled with my image, particularly my height and weight my whole life- and I have had the same worries about pregnancy and the changes to my body. I’ve decided to ban myself from constantly criticising my body and to focus on growing a healthy beautiful baby. Sometimes when I’m down I look in the mirror and find three things I like about my appearance (this really works for me!) I also believe stretch marks are beautiful and are a reminder of what your body is capable of. You say you’ve lost weight- that means you can do it again post baby- and they say taller women carry their pregnancy weight much better than shorter ladies! I’m going to treat myself to some beautiful clothes and pyjamas that make me feel good about myself, and keep as active as I can manage. Whenever I see a fellow tall lady I think they look beautiful and striking. Wishing you all the best x

@Gerdticker Thank you so much! That's really lovely. It's hard isn't it sometimes to adjust to the changes?

I've been talking to my husband, but he just says he doesnt see the stretch marks and the flabby arms and massive hips, he just sees his wife carrying his child. Which is lovely, but of course I struggle to believe him sometimes! I don't think he can really help much more than to say that.

I've lost weight once, and I can do it again, but I really don't want to be stuck trying to lose 3 stone after being pregnant, but hopefully it won't come to that. I feel under enough pressure being pregnant in this pandemic with a start up business as it is, let alone if I had to lose a tonne of weight afterwards. But I guess my body will do what it has to do ❤ xxx

@Hlb278 Thank you, that's great advice! 😊 I can relate to the constant body image issues, and its definitely hard. But it's so nice to hear you've found a way through it. I think I'm going to have to try similar tactics and see if I can quieten the anxiety.

I dont think it helps that the last person in my family to have a baby was my sister in law, and shes just a totally different build to me. She's like barely 5 foot tall, size 8, and didnt gain any weight at all during pregnancy. She also is very reserved emotionally and has a totally different brain to me lol, I think I've been quite worried that her and my mother in law are going to judge me and how I deal with pregnancy and being a mum.