hello,
put a trigger warning as it talks about miscarriage experience.
I'm just curious if anyone else had experienced this. I had a miscarriage at around 8 weeks back in November 2018. fortunately I fell pregnant again with DD in march 2019 and she is now 5 months old.
my partner wants another baby (if we can) quite soon as him and his siblings and me and mine are all pretty close together. I do aswell in the next year or so but I cant get past the fear. I know I've had a healthy pregnancy since, but even that I was plagued with anxiety. found the third trimester almost unbearable for checking movements and was convinced the whole time something was about to happen.
I found the miscarriage so traumatizing (it was mmc so found out at a scan after seeing a heartbeat 3 times before) and had to have a d and c which was soul destroying. I'm honestly not sure I could handle it again. my partner doesn't understand this as I've had DD since so can clearly carry to term/conceive a healthy pregnancy. I'm struggling to see past this and just keep thinking about what if I was to miscarry again, it really knocked me for six and I didnt feel better until I got pregnant again. the miscarriage pregnancy took nearly a year to conceive and I just feel like it took over my life so much. really not sure I could spend another few years of my twenties with the anxiety and potentially that experience all over again.
has anyone else felt like this even though they've had a healthy pregnancy in between? really struggling to explain it to my partner