Am I the only one feeling confused?

[Imanewbiehere3910]

Thought I was the only one in the world to be feeling like this, just feel totally not overjoyed with the news, feel Terribly guilty even putting this in here.
So my story..... I’m 39, had my first child 5 years ago after 6 hard years of trying to conceive and 3 cycles of failed ivf. My partner at the time decided to leave, 2 weeks after I found out I was pregnant and naturally pregnant....... I was happy but worried at the same time as how would I be able to do this on my own, but I did. I didn’t get the overwhelming love at first sight.... it took a little time.
Now 5 years down the line I am pregnant again 7 weeks, have no feelings of happiness and struggling to know what to do for the best. My DH (darling husband) is amazing and very supportive but don’t think he understands how I feel. Just don’t know what to do, I've read that others in older feeds had these feelings so helps to know I'm not on my own.

It sounds like you’ve been through an awful lot, and had a pretty shitty earlier relationship.
Your hormones are raging and there is no right or wrong way to feel.
I also think the 1st trimester makes it difficult to be overjoyed. You feel rubbish, you’re tired etc. Once you have your booking in appointment if you’re still feeling low speak to your midwife about it.
Take care lovely, we are in a pandemic and that’s not going to help matters xx