Pregnant and father of the child wants an abortion

[KW33]

I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago which was not planned. Both me and the father spoke about it and I decided I will continue because of my age and having terrible regrets from an abortion before. However he said he wants me to have an abortion, will not be there to help as he can just about support himself and his 3 other children from a previous relationship all of one mother. He said going forward he cannot talk to me. Since we spoke about this 2 weeks ago he has now blocked my number via WhatsApp and I tried to call and text message him and he didn't respond. I know I am making the right choice for me because it will only be me that has to live with the guilt but I am struggling with him not talking to me. Needless to say we were never "officially" together but have been seeing each other for 4 years. I just never thought he could treat me like this.

Hey, congratulations on your pregnancy, which sounds much-wanted. You've made your choices. Babies are gorgeous and yours will be well-loved.

As for the father. He's made all the choices he has to make right now but you carrying on with your pregnancy isn't up to him. I'm sorry he's behaving so badly, this must really hurt coming from someone who has been in your life for quite a while.

Still, my best advice would be to focus on what you can do now. Stop engaging with him and start planning what you want your life to look like with a baby in the mix. If there's someone you trust, tell them (it's a bit piece of news to keep to yourself!). And enjoy the ride!

Congratulations on your pregnancy, OP.

My DCs' father is a selfish arsehole too, and every day I thank my lucky stars (1) that I don't have to be with him and (2) that I got three amazing DC out of the (terrible) relationship.

Your baby will have an amazing life so just crack on and ignore the fucker.

Obviously apply for child support, though.

He has made it clear to you that he will not be a part in yours or your future child's life. It's a pity he didn't use contraception in f that's how he feels but it's done now.
If you go ahead with the pregnancy you will be a single parent. Good luck though as it sounds as if you have made up your mind to continue with the pregnancy. Start to plan ahead and look forward to the future.

Hi sort of similar situation my partner left me when I was 18 weeks pregnant and I too found it hard to get my head around it all but him leaving made me realise all the support from my friends and family is more than he could ever offer I'm now 21 weeks pregnant with a little girl and honestly feel so relieved that im doing it on my own at the end of the day its gonna be hard but its twice the love twice the kisses and twice the cuddles which I can't wait for and if hes not mature enough to talk about it with you then he doesnt sound like a good enough daddy for your baby dont do anything you'll end up regretting again and take some time out for yourself to adjust to what's happening good luck x

I'm in exactly the same position, but I know of I have an abortion I will end up with nothing. They're actions speak louder than words. Bollocks to them but I know it's hard xx

Tough shit for him, he should have had a vasectomy after the third child, he didn't use contraception so he doesn't get to tell you what to do.
Make sure you claim CM and maybe he will be responsible the next time and have a vasectomy instead of having loads of kids with different mothers.
You will be just fine as a single mum, best of luck.

Thank you for your kind messages and support. Really appreciated especially having terrible morning sickness too 😔

It doesn't matter what he wants. What do you want?

Get rid of him (your partner), you don't need anyone to make you feel like that. Keep the baby and tell him if you don't want anything to do with our baby. That's fine. I'll find a man who will...hope that irritates him. He needs to have the snip if he doesn't want any children. If he's blocked you then ignore him. Plenty of men out there...enjoy being pregnant and look forward to having a baby...I've just had a miscarriage and would do anything to switch places.

I’m in the same position, and decided to keep the baby after lots of fertility issues years ago and mmc’s. Straight after I told the father he blocked me, would rather not be part of the babies life, and pretend that this never happened. In his eyes I’ve had an abortion or lost the baby.

I won’t lie, some days it’s tough, I wonder how I will cope, sleepless nights, later stages of pregnancy on my own. A world of thoughts spin round my head. But I KNOW I have made the right decision, I would rather do this alone, and give me and my baby the best life without someone dipping in and out as they please, offering half arsed support, and I’m not having to co parent with someone who is an idiot! I have realised that the emotional and mental support that I need, he is never going to provide. But I have had so much help from my midwife, friends, family, neighbours.

OP you can do this, leave him be, he has made his mind up, you need to focus on you and the baby. I told him that he has to respect my decision not to have an abortion, and live with the decision that he has made. I might be stupid but I’m not going to claim CM, I just going to do it alone. Hopefully one day we will both meet people, who deserve to be in our lives. Good luck, hope the morning sickness gets better xx