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My story on my miscarriage

21 replies

tanit20088 · 05/05/2020 09:21

I feel like I owe this to a lot of people on this site to share my story as reading a lot of threads while I was going through this, made me realise what was happening i could connect to other people’s symptoms and made me not feel alone so thank you all mumsnetters.

Firstly I found out I was pregnant 12th April 2020 an exciting time had been trying for 6 month my symptoms were painful breasts.
By 17th of April I felt butterflies twice but then after this date I didn’t feel a thing I didn’t feel the pregnancy was progressing
23rd April I had a slight bit of spotting after sex but nothing major but I was concerned as I still had no sickness I started to contact doctor explaining I wasn’t happy... I was going to be offered an early scan but because of coronavirus I was told even if I was miscarrying it was not an emergency to have be allowed a scan.
Soon after started to get some form of sickness which started to reassure me this then lasted 3 days
Then my sickness disappeared for 3 days I assumed my body was giving me rest bite but my breasts were sore almost everyday through this
30th April-I had brown spotting when I wiped called 111 (it was late at night) was reassured this was normal
2nd of April-I had more brown spotting which had got heavier called 111 again (once again out of docs hours) begged to go to hospital.
Went to hospital due to virus I had to go in on my own sat in a&e and cried my heart out it. Gyno then took me to a ward checked my cervix and reassured me they were then shut so went home.
3rd of May I couldn’t be bothered to get out of Bed then when I eventually did I started passing clots Bright red blood I called the hospital which said this was completely normal and because I wasn’t having serious cramping it was normal in early pregnancy my partner was believing it but I kept telling him it wasn’t right this was not okay I begged to be scanned and because I was so distressed I was allowed one
4th of May went for my scan was supposed to be almost 8 weeks pregnant. They couldn’t find a thing there was no baby on external/internal scans but from my bloods I finally had a phone call to say my levels had dropped and that I had yes gone through a miscarriage at home.

Mums I feel we have a sense I knew weeks ago I didn’t feel something was quite right and I felt this was important to put my story out there... please feel free to ask any questions I want to help people through these times x

OP posts:
Emberfoot · 05/05/2020 10:28

No questions, just sending hugs and sympathy, I am feeling for you 😢

tanit20088 · 05/05/2020 11:43

Thank you so much my heart aches right now x

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Milkshake54 · 05/05/2020 17:43

@tanit20088 thank you for sharing, I’m really sort for your loss ❤️.
I had a MMC in December, baby stopped developing at 6+3. I also ‘just knew’ I had a feeling from really early on, that things weren’t ok.

Please make sure you take the time you need to recover from this, emotionally and physically. I took 4 weeks at the time and went back to work... it turns out I still wasn’t ok and ended up taking another 4weeks off.

Hopefully some hope, we conceived again on our 3rd cycle post MMC. I’m currently 5weeks pregnant, although still scary and still very early, I am feeling a lot more positive the time round.

I hope you are ok ❤️

BeMorePacific · 05/05/2020 17:58

So sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your story xx

Oxfordnono12 · 05/05/2020 18:25

I so sorry to hear your story, How are you feeling?

We absolutely do, I knew with my first miscarriage that she wasnt going to stay with me. It was just like my other two pregnancies with regards to symptoms etc but my gut was telling me she wont make birth. I spoke with my sister and mother in law about how I felt. Both thought I was crazy. But at 19 weeks she was born. Absolutely heartbroken. She would be 8 this year.

tanit20088 · 05/05/2020 18:52

Thank you everyone I’m feeling better bit by bit I find it healing to actually talk about it. I find if I have naps and waking up on mornings hard but I gradually pull myself around. My partner has been amazing throughout literally such a strong human I feel like I have found a whole new love for him which I never knew existed and that’s what’s pulled me through I believe xx

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tanit20088 · 05/05/2020 21:05

@Milkshake54 I really hope everything goes smoothly for you Best wishes xx

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ladyofthenorth · 05/05/2020 21:25

@tanit20088 thank you for sharing this, I’ve been through a very similar experience as you. Sending hugs to you, I’m so sorry for for your loss. It’s been such an emotional rollercoaster from finding out I was pregnant on 30 March to finding out I had had a missed miscarriage on 27 April (when I should have been 9 weeks).
I took 2 days off work still very wobbly , but working from home is helping take my mind off things.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story
Take care

tanit20088 · 05/05/2020 21:51

It’s such an awful time to be going through this isn’t it. My heart aches for everyone who goes through losing a baby I feel I can come to terms with this now once I know the cruel truth but the hospital were going to leave me till I had a 12 week scan I felt was unacceptable letting me believe I’m still pregnant and allowing Me to continue to this stage... and I bet a lot of other ladies are going through this also which i feel is not fair. I understand you want less contact etc etc but when someone’s heavy bleeding and are in the hospital already a scan could be offered, you can’t leave people when they could have a potential ectopic pregnancy.

I’m now scared of conceiving again and ending in another miscarriage really xxx

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ladyofthenorth · 05/05/2020 22:21

@tanit20088 - that’s such a shame that you had such a difficult time with the hospital, I guess different areas are experiencing different pressures due to Covid-19.
I feel lucky as I rang the early pregnancy assesment unit on the Sunday night who transferred me to emergency gynae dept. They booked me in for a scan at 9am the next day which Im so grateful for as we weren’t left hanging, not knowing as you were. I’m so sorry you had to go through that - especially with everything else that’s going on.
I have to go back on Monday for a follow up scan (the hospitals policy) , dreading having to even go into the hospital alone again but feel like it will help me as part of the grieving process.
Sorry I have hijacked your post - it’s just so nice to share this with someone who has been through the same thing , thank you Smile

tanit20088 · 05/05/2020 22:30

Honestly I’d prefer people to feel like they can talk about this So please don’t feel like you’ve hijacked this post this is why I put this up so everyone could talk I feel it strengthens us to talk about our worries I’m incredibly grateful for everyone sharing their stories as it’s a hard subject. Once I was with the staff in the hospitals they were absolutely fantastic I was scared going in on my own but the nurses were incredibly helpful and did everything in their power to comfort me while i was having the scans done xx

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Oxfordnono12 · 06/05/2020 16:32

Sorry to post again.

I decided after I miscarried the 2and time(a year after the 1st one) to be come a counsellor.

I had a very traumatic experience after delivering. My placenta wouldn't come away, so the doctor decided to try and remove it manually,worst pain EVER! I wasnt offered pain relief nor support (my husband was told to leave) it was brutal. Then an hour after I felt funny and my husband had to call for the nurse, i was bleeding heavily an losing ALOT of blood. I had to wait until the next morning for surgery. Then needed a blood transfusion of 4 units. So, I was in a week, then handed a leaflet to help me cope; no referral, no advice, no guidance in where I should go for emotional support.

Nobody wanted to talk about what happened, I was expected to just get on with, like i didnt just lose my baby. One person asked, so when you gona try again? I'm sure you would love another one.

I did develop (mild) depression 8 months after and the doctor offered me meds again no emotional support. I declined an asked to be put on the waiting list for a counsellor. That's when I decided to be counsellor, my passion lies with helping people who have experienced grief.

tanit20088 · 06/05/2020 19:00

Thank you for sharing this it’s Such an awful feeling I’m scared of trying again for this reason I do feel grateful my doctors have spoken to me today when I was having a wobbler and answered my questions. I feel support plays a huge part in recovery. So sorry to hear how traumatic your experience has been I feel I have been lucky to have fully miscarried naturally. You are certainly an amazing lady xx

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Oxfordnono12 · 06/05/2020 22:23

Thank you, that's very kind of you! Take each day as it comes and dont put pressure on yourself. I'm glad you have great support! Always have hope. I believe we (women) are truly amazing beings!!

I wish you all the best and luck!

MariposaPink · 07/05/2020 09:19

@Milkshake54 - how situation sounds similar to yours. I too had an MMC but in late November. Like you, I had a feeling things weren’t right hence I booked in a scan at what should’ve been 8+2 but it showed baby stopped at 6+3.
We conceived on my 3rd cycle and I’m currently 6+2 so I’m slightly ahead of you. We’re are perfect strangers in sync! Although I’ve been feeling terrified this time around. I'm glad you are feeling positive. Bear

Milkshake54 · 07/05/2020 09:35

@mariposapink aww that made me feel all goosebumpy! We must keep in touch! When are you due? There is a January group on Facebook (not identifiable) if you wished to join?

MariposaPink · 07/05/2020 09:55

@Milkshake54 yes we must! According to my dates I am due on December 28th but if this baby is anything like my dd then it will be born well into January! I no longer FB as for some reason hackers are always trying to infiltrate my account and it was worrying me.
I'm not sure that it's appropriate to continue on this thread and I'm new to this so don't know how to resume our conversations elsewhere. Would you know how?

tanit20088 · 07/05/2020 10:11

Hi guys just wondering if anyone could give their opinion on this I think I’ve stopped bleeding today but I was spotting from Thursday last week when would you’d say I miscarried cause I had the big bleed on Sunday but technically I bled from earlier than that?? I’m trying to look at when I’ll be ovulating next try to understand my cycles again as I already had unpredictable cycles I had been tracking my ovulation prior to this to help me get pregnant and to predict when my period would fall later in month??xx

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Milkshake54 · 07/05/2020 10:30

@taint20088 My miscarriage started medically managed on the 26th of December, but I’m pretty sure I passed the baby on the 28th. However I count the first day of new cycle as the day I started bleeding...

tanit20088 · 07/05/2020 10:39

Only problem is my cervix were shut even on Saturday night would you say that changes anything xx

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Milkshake54 · 07/05/2020 13:26

Oh I’m not sure, sorry! Can the EPU help you work it out?

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