Lockdown rant - FTM and feeling like I can't get anything for baby!

[Clizzie84]

Hi ladies, I'm 28 weeks today with my first baby and in such a stress!!

All we've managed to buy for the baby so far is clothes and a second hand car seat we got from a friend.

Ikea can't/won't deliver the nursery furniture. Nowhere is open to go and look at prams/car seats etc. They're a big investment for us and being a FTM I'm not sure what I'm really looking at without speaking to someone, I don't want to just order something online and have it turn up and not be right as that will only add to my stress if we have to return and rebuy when baby's due in 12 weeks (I have a feeling he may come early anyway though!)

Halfords are still advertised as open so went there this afternoon to try and at least look at these things in real life; however what they don't tell you is they aren't letting anyone in the store - you tell them what you want, someone goes and gets it for you and you pay at the door. We had to just come straight home, so disappointing.

I don't want to sound spoiled or entitled; I fully understand that this virus is an emergency and people are dying every day, but the world doesn't stop and babies are still going to be born. I really think pregnant women have been forgotten about in the midst of this lockdown and I'm terrified that my baby is going to be born and we won't be prepared for him!

Have any other FTMs been experiencing similar and how are you getting around it??

I'm in the same boat but a few weeks behind you.

I've been asking other ladies I see with prams or buggies when I'm out and about on socially distant exercise walks what their prams are like. Feel like a right weirdo though.

I'm going to hold out buying big purchases for as long as I can in the hope I'll be able eventually to visit a store.

Buy a baby sling for a newborn such as a close caboo and then hold off on the pushchair buying. You might find you prefer carrying and go straight to a small fold up pushchair at 6 months.

I’d get a sling. The sling library by me is doing Skype sessions. It will do you until the shops open up again and you’ll just be going out for walks nearby too.

I wouldn’t worry about nursery furniture as the baby will be in your room at first. I know you probably want to get it all set up befor the baby comes. I know I did. But it might be less stressful to just get what you need for the first couple of months and get everything else once the shops are open

We haven't got any nursery furniture other than the cot but we ordered a Snuzpod online so she'll be in with us for the first six months anyway. Everything else we just took the chance and went with majority advice from family and friends, even did a recommendation poll on Facebook for some things - we went with the majority and ordered the Snuzpod, a Silvercross Wayfarer pram, a Sleepyhead, a maxi cosy car seat with isofix base (my mum already has the same in her car for my brother's kids, so figured we'd get the same so easy for her to have ours when we're allowed!), Amazon has been a lifesaver for bottles, steriliser, swaddles, muslins, nappies, wipes etc. - they actually have a baby wishlist if you spend enough you get good discounts which was great. It's all trial and error anyway if your baby gets on with the bits you've picked - so other than the pram which could sort of test out in real life, everything else is taking a chance anyway. Try not to get too stressed about it, it is frustrating and I do agree as a pregnant woman you do feel forgotten about (care-wise) it's almost done me a favour having gestational diabetes as at least I've had a couple of extra scans and not been completely forgotten about. Hugs to you

Great advice from previous posters about getting a sling until you can get to look at a pram in the 'flesh'.
I'm 25 weeks but fortunately managed to sort a pram and snuzpod right before lockdown then it's really just a car seat I need as an essential purchase. Nursery furniture etc can wait and little bits and pieces like nappies, clothing, lotions & potions etc I'm just ordering little by little online.
It's crap but we have to just do our best in unprecedented times.

It is really shit, I understand, but when I was pregnant with DC1 I did a lot of research online anyway - the trips I made to actual shops were quite disappointing as they didn't have a great range in store (I guess it does depend on the shops near where you live).

I went a bit crazy reading pushchair reviews But there is honestly so much information online, Madeformums and Which? have good reviews for example, and you can also watch YouTube demos to get an idea. Maybe you could narrow it down to two or three pushchairs you'd like to look at, then ask around locally (any local parenting groups on Facebook or WhatsApp?) to see if anyone has one that they'd be willing for you to look at - obviously with careful social distancing, hand washing, wiping it down etc. But if the worst comes to the worst you can order online and return it if it's not right.

As for nursery furniture, the only thing you need straight away is a Moses basket or bedside crib. A cot/cot bed can wait.

Why do you have a feeling baby will arrive early? Most first babies arrive late, I think the average is 40+5.

In the same boat as you, only finding it difficult to cheap newborn clothes ( not prepared to spent £35 on 3 sleep suits).

We took the plunge and brought the pram/travel system sight unseen after polling our friends for recommendations. We went with the 2 most popular brands out of their suggestions, did some research, watched a lot of videos and figured it was the best we could do.

I would much prefer to see stuff in person too and it sucks, but we've decided to buy the bare minimum and then sort the rest one some of the lockdown restrictions ease/the baby arrives

PS You say you've already got a car seat but then say you still want to look at car seats and tried visiting Halfords - do you want to buy two seats?? If you want online advice, the Facebook group Car Seat Advice UK is very helpful. You could also contact your local specialist car seat retailer, they could probably advise over the phone and might be able to arrange delivery or collection.
www.carseatadvice-uk.com/specialist-retailers.html

Hi 26 weeks here. I've just really researched, looked at loads of reviews and also posted on different sites asking what people reccomended, do you have friends you can also chat with about car seats/pram etc?
I've ordered everything online now. I don't plan to put my baby in her own room till she is 6 months so the nursery will have to wait. All I have got is her bedside cot (again just researched which one is best for us) and I will store her clothes in a chest of drawers I've ordered.

It is really hard to make such important, expensive purchases though I really sympathise with you!

@NameChange30 Yes we want two - we have 2 cars. The seat we got from our friend is a Cybex Sirona which is heavy to transfer from car to car so rather than have the hassle we thought we'd get a different second one! I've just requested to join the FB group, hoping that will help!

@Thekindyoufindinasecondhand All my friends have kids but we're about 5 years behind them - all they keep telling me is 5 years is a long time in baby accessories! I was recommended Joie and Graco as good-quality brands that won't break the bank but beyond that I have no clue!!

We have a Cybex Sirona, it's a very good seat and lasts for ages! But yes has to stay in the car so definitely a good idea to get an infant seat as well.

Can anyone send a link to a good sling? As I have heard this is the way forward thank you x

Argos and amazon are still going strong for a lot of things. In terms of pushchairs if you Google or YouTube the make and model you can normally see pretty decent videos and video reviews which I've found helpful to an extent.
I think we are all frustrated! I'm coming up to 20 weeks and find myself annoyed. Can't seem to get excited. With my first child I was going to Cardiff and cirencester with my mum to browse cute baby things and had a baby shower etc. Its not the same I agree when you can't see some things in person x

Is there a local parenting Facebook group you could join? Ours is quite good for recommendations. I also think it depends on the area so people in London will want different prams e.g. lightweight for getting on and off buses whereas recommendations from friends in other parts of country who drive everywhere

Sorry didn’t finish - meant to recommendations from outside your area might not be as useful

Also Gumtree is still going strong and it's all through PayPal now and they have set up a delivery thing so worth a look. You can get such good buggy's on there 😊

@ZsaZsaMc I hadn't thought of that but will definitely check it out. We moved to a completely new area when I was about 8 weeks along so no idea what's around here really! All a bit isolating and slightly scary!

I've already learned to be wary of recommendations - a friend recommended me a Babyzen YoYo as a pushchair but she lives in London! Probably a bit flimsy for us when where we live is a lot more rural and very hilly!!

I am 36 weeks and have had to order everything online. I am looking on the bright side, everything I have ordered I am happy with so far. I have taken time to read reviews and research items before purchasing. Sometimes in shops you can be pushed into buying things when you ask for advice. I don’t have nursery furniture but didn’t intend buying it before the baby is born as they will be in our room. I agree it is a bit crap as it would have been nice to browse the shops for baby clothes etc but what can you do. I am in Ireland and baby shops are closed because they aren’t classed as essential, whereas pet stores and wine shops are open. I don’t get it . And where are all the baby clothes gone now ? Almost everything seems to be sold out online apart from really expensive shops ! I am lucky I ordered baby vests and sleep suits a few weeks ago or i would be really stuck .

Not surprised pet shops are open, pet owners still need to buy them food and other supplies!

And wine is essential for morale But I know what you mean, seems weird when people can easily get alcohol from supermarkets.

I have a dog and two cats. I know people need to buy them supplies. I just think it’s difficult that there is nowhere to buy things for a baby aside from online. You can buy pet supplies in the supermarkets.

I agree with the previous posts,

I’m 34 weeks and was feeling overwhelmed (didn’t start buying till 25 weeks) I would write a list of bare essentials and start ticking them off. Amazon is great, I got maternity pads, breast pump, muslims, all sorts from there.

Don’t forget second hand, we got a (practically brand new) sleepy head and schnuggle Moses basket for £40 each off Facebook market place, saves a fortune and if baby doesn’t get on with them we can sell for the same price we bought for.

Also like above posters not worrying about a nursery and she will be in our room for the next 6 months, plenty of time to sort that.

Got lots of baby grows from John Lewis, m&s, Mori, I can vouch for the quality :)

Try not to stress and take the opportunity to not spend on unnecessary baby crap the media tells us we need, when we really don’t!

Prams amd car seats - meh, you can buy online or just wait in ten weeks the shops will probably be open anyway, or just buy something generic you know will work. You don’t need nursery furniture at the moment, just order your cot/crib/moses basket online.
Baby clothes can still be ordered from Next, John Lewis, jojomaman, Zara etc but if you want cheap/to browse then go to Sainsburys, Asda, Tesco. It’s annoying but not the end of the world and you can still get everything!

You've got ages yet!

I'm 29 weeks and have found exactly the same, every day just trying to research and order 1 thing, the big one for me was travel system, I ordered Infababy which isn't in stores anyway (but rated well) and has a 30 days returns period, I am so chuffed with it and was only £360 for the full travel system!
My main struggle is baby boy clothes under 3 months! They all seem to be sold out in the white/blue/grey colours! Xx

Lots of people have given great advice, we moved house a week before our dd and just not being able to nest properly really upset me so I can imagine this is hard for you

A few things I can think of would be asking around, looking on ebay, get a sling for the early days.. I don't think I used the pram until at least a month or two after she was born but that depends on your circumstances I know.
Some places are still delivering so could you think of a short list?

Have a look at reviews, YouTube videos, forums or friends opinions regarding things you still need? We have a silvercross pioneer which has a huge basket, carrycot from birth and was big enough and light enough for my daughter up to 3yrs or so. We will be using that again this time.
Could be worth looking on ebay or marketplace for second hand so if you get it cheap enough but don't get on with it then you haven't lost much? Not the best solution but depends how much you need a pram..

All we used in the first couple of months was pump, bottles, steriliser, nappies, car seat, sling, Muslims, clothes and moses basket in our room we moved about the house in the day. You can pick up other bits as and when...

Mamas and papas are delivering, same with precious little one and asda, argos, boots etc.

I'm sorry this is hard on you. Hopefully in the next few weeks things will improve.

Try to organise what you do have, like hospital bag etc. It may help you feel a bit more prepared seeing what you have than what you don't