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New mums, how has baby met family?

9 replies

NEAKT5 · 02/05/2020 20:02

Hi, I’m wondering how people have coped since having a baby during lockdown. I’m 36 weeks and I’m getting anxious now about giving birth but also about how my parents will meet baby and when. I know a lot of people have done meeting through the window or on a video call. I just wondered what anyone has done? My parents only live 10 mins away and if we weren’t on lockdown they would have been meeting baby pretty much instantly. We are all wondering when they will get to see their first grandchild properly or even hold it. Confused

OP posts:
PoodlesAreMySpiritAnimal · 03/05/2020 12:15

Nervous about replying to this in case I get ‘set on’ but didn’t want to read and run!!

Do you have any outside space at your home that you could use to have your parents come over and see the baby? I have had two very well spaced outdoor conversations where no-one came into our house - we just sat outside in the garden, well-spaced and I made a cup of tea and we had cake.
It will still be very hard not making physical contact but I suppose it is up to you to decide - if you know who your parents have been around for instance and have worked out the risks they present to you and baby - and you to them. Otherwise, I suppose another possibility is that e.g your mum moves in briefly and isolates from society during that time, again if you’re happy with her level of risk/can accommodate her?
All just suggestions but it sure is a tricky situation. I do think things will improve in time but hopefully other folks will have some suggestions for you and then you’ll be able to feel like you have some work around options available in the worst case scenario. Smile
It’s so weird - at this rate, many of my friends and relatives won’t have seen me with a bump, just a baby at the end, which will obviously be wonderful but a bit surreal at the same time!!

Bol87 · 03/05/2020 13:33

My baby is 6.5 weeks old and has met my parents once (she was born 4 days before lockdown) but not her other grandparents who live 4 hours away. Both sets are heartbroken at this situation. My parents in particular as this will be their last grandchild (I’m an only child & have HG pregnancies. I won’t be doing it again) & my mum is vulnerable so god knows when she’s going to get to spend time with her Sad Both sets are also very much missing out elder DD.

That said, my parents live 10 mins walk down the road so I regularly stroll down with my newborn & sit on the wall outside their house with her. They stay a good distance away on the bench in their garden and we have a natter. It’s no different to those having quizzes with their neighbours etc! It’s absolutely not the same but it’s something. My poor in-laws have to deal with Skype calls and that’s really tough..

Praying they allow some family contact in the home soon.. the in-laws will be up the same day! 🙈

IvinghoeBeacon · 03/05/2020 13:36

Baby is a couple of weeks old and both sets of grandparents have only met via video. It’s really shit and makes me cry when I think of it. Yes I know people have babies overseas and don’t get to introduce to family for months, but I’m not in that situation and I find it very hard. One set of grandparents live about ten minutes away and they have chosen not to do through the window or from the door etc as they felt it would be too hard, especially as they would have to avoid the toddler seeing them As he would be very distressed at not being able to go to them. The other set live 300 miles away so can’t just do a quick visit anyway.

NEAKT5 · 03/05/2020 13:48

@PoodlesAreMySpiritAnimal We do have a garden and my dad has been in the garden once or twice, keeping a distance just for 5 mins to drop off some baby stuff and food for me, I’ve always felt guilty though as if my neighbours will be judging! I’m the same, most friends and family have only seen photos of a bump and not had the opportunity to feel baby move, my parents included which is a shame for their first grandchild!

@Bol87 That’s a tough one with your mum being vulnerable too. I think that’s nice that you have been able to have a little walk and talk, like you say it’s not the same but it’s nice they are getting to see the baby a little! Yes I think even if they said you were allowed to have family I would still be a little wary as my parents are going to supermarkets and things still but at least we would have the choice.

@IvinghoeBeacon I hadn’t even thought about those who already have young ones at home and them also not getting to see their grandparents, that must be hard too. Yes I think it’s hard for us because we didn’t think this was how we would be having our babies this year. At the minute I’m thinking either a safe distance away to see the baby in person or just a Skype call, still have a few weeks to decide!

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AuntieMarys · 03/05/2020 13:49

My dh hasn't met his grandson , born 3 weeks ago. We live about 5 miles away. Plenty of photos on Instagram.
Baby and mum doing well which is the main thing.

lovelyjubbly12 · 03/05/2020 13:57

I've considered putting the baby in our garden (big garden) in her pram with the water proofs on so they can get a closer look... surely the waterproofs will protect. And that way they get to be as close to her as they can.... 🤷🏼‍♀️ so shitty isn't it.

NEAKT5 · 04/05/2020 09:30

@AuntieMarys Good that mum and baby are well however it is sad he can’t go along to even see baby from a distance.

@lovelyjubbly12 that actually sounds like it would be safe! It is really shitty, I have no idea what we will do I don’t think I will decide until baby is here.

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Pineapplebaby · 04/05/2020 10:49

We’re in the same boat, baby due in a couple of weeks but my wife and I are also asthmatic so we really can’t take any risks. We’ve already said to family that no one will be coming to visit until we feel safe in doing so, even if the lockdown is lifted in the meantime.
It’s so shitty that we have to do this, and certainly not how we wanted our first/only child to meet their family, but our health absolutely must come first.

IvinghoeBeacon · 04/05/2020 13:21

Pineapplebaby you weigh up the risks in your own circumstances of course but Tbh there is probably greater risks to you due to being in hospital when giving birth or exposure to HCPs than relatives, and you will likely be a greater risk to relatives in the same way, rather than them to you.

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