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So anxious - no appointments til 20 week scan

18 replies

YukoandHiro · 01/05/2020 12:37

I'll be16 weeks pregnant on Sunday; I'm expecting my second child.
All was fine at my 12 week scan, but that was the first week of April, and my appointment next week has been cancelled. I don't have anything til 20 week scan (actually at 21 weeks I think) which is the first week of June.
I just feel so anxious. I felt the first flutters very early, around 13 weeks, but haven't felt anything for over a week now. I still have other symptoms - exhaustion, painful boobs, headaches and nausea still hanging around a bit. But I just can't help worrying that something might have gone wrong and I won't know for another four weeks.
Being stuck is lockdown with no nursery or grandparent help with childcare isn't helping, and my daughter is 2y 9m and tantrum central at the moment. I'm also trying to work from home in a v high pressure job.
It's just all too much and I keep bursting into tears...
just posting to see if I'm not alone. It's so different to my first pregnancy when there was so much support and care available

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 01/05/2020 12:51


OP posts:
carleyemma91 · 01/05/2020 13:11

Try not to worry, 13 weeks is very, very early to feel flutters. Even if you were seeing the midwife they didn't listen to my baby's heart beat until 25 weeks so the only checks I had at my 16 week appointment was urine and blood pressure so in terms of checks there's not a whole lot of checking going on anyway.

lockdownpregnancy · 01/05/2020 13:13

Hi OP!
I don't have any children, but pregnant with my first.
I'm the same as you, have my 12 week scan and then a 5 minute phone call with my midwife, as my 16 week check up.
I've got my 20 week scan in about a week and it cannot come soon enough!
I've been getting breathless and chest pains on and off and because the doctors won't see anyone, I've ordered myself a blood pressure machine, as if my blood pressure is ok then I won't be worried about the breathlessness and chest pains.
I suffer with anxiety and this week has been rough! Next week will be even worse with the run up to my scan, just with pure fear something is wrong with baby.
You're not the only one who has been crying a lot! I think a lot of us feel similar. I've also screamed at my DH. We've been together 9 years and I've never screamed at him!
Lockdown is sending us all loopy! 🤪🤪🤪
You are truly not alone!

OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 01/05/2020 13:22

I don't mean this to come across mean, badly or cruel, but I can't think of any other way to word it.
If anything were to go wrong at this stage, then there's nothing a midwife could do for you anyway.
If you feel really worried or concerned then you can still phone her or the EPU/ MOP units. All a midwife would be doing is bp & urine checks and asking generally how you were feeling.

YukoandHiro · 01/05/2020 13:27

No i know exactly what you mean - it's too early to "do" anything if there's a problem and that's exactly why I haven't been to MAU or anything.

It's just such a strange and anxious time. I'm sure the midwife used a Doppler at my 16 week appt last time, but maybe I've misremembered.

Logically everything is fine. I just feel a bit cut adrift!

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 01/05/2020 13:30

Don't worry too much about breathlessness @lockdownpregnancy - that's totally normal at this stage. Your lungs are literally growing in size to be able to take in enough oxygen for two of you. It feels a bit rough but it's totally normal. I've had it the last couple of weeks.

OP posts:
OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe · 01/05/2020 14:14

I can only imagine.
I wasn't under community midwife care during my pregnancy so I've no idea about when they usually listen for the heartbeat, sorry.

niki26 · 01/05/2020 14:40

I was the same - had my booking in appointment at nearly 12 weeks, then my 12 week scan and then boom....lock down. My 20 week scan yesterday was the first time I'd had reassurance that baby was ok!

After my scan I went down to see the midwife and had my blood pressure and urine done. She actually had time to talk to me about any concerns because there was no 'queue'. My next face to face appointment is at 28 weeks.

Katnip0520 · 01/05/2020 14:56

You’re not on your own at all. Everything has changed from your first pregnancy and the pressure of dealing with a global pandemic, working from home, juggling childcare and being pregnant is a lot!

I’m 38 weeks with my second and was so pleased to ‘go on maternity leave’ so I didn’t have to juggle work in amongst everything else. I still find some days to be hard going.

Already having a baby is a blessing and a curse, you know more about what’s likely to happen, what to look out for and don’t worry so much about the things you were worried about first time around.

On the other hand you can remember the high level of care you had first time around and worry that you’re not going to get that same care this time.

The only advice I can give is that whilst you might not have an appointment for some weeks, if you have any concerns your midwife is still on hand to support you and will see if you they feel you need to be seen - the same can be said about GP’s too.

If things get too much don’t be afraid to speak to your employer about your workload (they have a duty to protect you) and if you really need to I’m sure your GP wouldn’t hesitate to sign you off with stress if you needed a “break”.

You’re doing incredibly well given the crazy circumstances. Don’t stress about the bad days, better days are ahead :)

Keha · 01/05/2020 17:13

I was pregnant before lockdown and I remember my most anxious time was between the 12 week and 20 week scan. I did have a 16 week appointment but the midwife wouldnt listen for a heartbeat, was just urine and blood pressure, so no real reassurance. I felt less worried once I started getting movement. Hang in there xx

wineymummy · 01/05/2020 17:23

I've not had the heartbeat done once this pregnancy, my trust has stopped doing it. So 16 weeks was just a chat, blood pressure and wee test.

Smilymami · 01/05/2020 17:37

@lockdownpregnancy darling it's not all about your blood pressure. If you are having chest pains and SOB, you need to go to A&E as it could be something called a PE (blood clot in your lungs). Pregnancy is a risk factor for PE and it is very important to diagnose and treat.

bulliedintonamechange · 01/05/2020 17:41

To be honest, I would he glad you don't have to go to the hospital for a few weeks when maybe the virus will have calmed down a bit. Have a nice bath, candles and alcohol free wine and try to relax. It was probably wind you felt at 13 weeks to be fair haha

toomuchteaandcake · 01/05/2020 18:02

Nothing really happens at the 16 week appt anyway, I was in and out in 5 mins!

lockdownpregnancy · 01/05/2020 18:54

@smilymami I'm not breathless all the time, just a few times a day.
I spoke to my midwife earlier and she just said keep an eye on it??
I'm panicking now! Do you think I need to go to A&E? They won't do nothing though! My doctor won't even see me!

YukoandHiro · 01/05/2020 20:28

@lockdownpregnancy If you're getting chest pains you should be checked out. If just short of breath occasionally that sounds very normal.

OP posts:
YukoandHiro · 01/05/2020 20:29

Interesting to see that you're all saying no heartbeat check at 16 weeks. Maybe I've misremembered from the first time.
Just going to concentrate on trying to get more rest when I can and getting May out of the way!

OP posts:
lockdownpregnancy · 01/05/2020 20:46

@YukoandHiro the chest pain is on my sternum, which apparently is super common too, as your rib cage expands to make way for your organs being shoved upwards to make room for baby.
I've just face timed my sister in law who has my nephew and is a nurse and she said if it comes and goes and I'm not gasping for air (which I'm not) then not to worry, but if it persists then to call my GP.
From what she said all my symptoms are common with where I'm at with my pregnancy, so I do feel better now. If it gets worse I'll will call NHS 111 or my GP next week.

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