Anyone else feeling anxious and forgotten about being pregnant during the Coronavirus?

[Sakura92]

Firstly I apologise for the long rambling post, I just wanted to get off my chest how I feel at the moment and I'm curious if anyone has experienced anything similar.

Also I just want to say, I completely understand that midwives are extremely busy and probably don't have as much time to give to people as usual during this difficult time and they have to prioritise higher risk people.

I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby and am feeling a bit alone and anxious. I went in for my 12 week scan a few weeks ago which was quite lonely without my partner there, but it was amazing to see the little baby bouncing around on the screen :)

After, I went into another room for the usual blood pressure, weight checks etc. They asked me if I'd been treated for the urine infection that showed up in my 8 week appointment which was news to me because no one had told me about it. They sent off another urine sample and told me I'd be told if there was still an infection. A couple of weeks went by and I hadn't heard anything, but I decided to call and ask just to be on the safe side, and it turns out I still had an infection and again, no one let me know.

I was supposed to go in for a 15 week appointment with my midwife at the start of this week and I was really looking forward to it as I've still not met or talked to my assigned midwife, and I've not really had a chance to ask any questions so far, and I also wanted another urine test to make sure the infection is gone now. I got a call to say I don't need to go in and she would call me instead which was disappointing but I understand its not worth the risk. She never called :(

I just feel a bit stressed that I have no idea who my midwife is, I don't know if I should call her if I have any questions or concerns when she's never met me and it's worrying that I'm not being told when there's a problem.

Also the fact that my partner can't be with me at appointments and I can't see my family at the moment is making things lonelier too. Is anyone else feeling a bit forgotten about and anxious right now too?

Call your midwife (if you can't get through to her, any of the midwives should do!) and explain the situation.

It's appalling they haven't followed up on your urine infection. Antenatal care is hugely important, despite the ongoing pandemic. You need to be assertive and say you're unhappy with the lack of care you're receiving, explain that your urine infection was ignored twice and it's still not been verified that it has cleared, and you don't think a phone consultation is appropriate in these circumstances. Also explain you've been told you'd receive calls and haven't. This is not okay, and you need to be firm about that.

I get that they're busy, but you should absolutely be seen.

I'm 34 weeks so a different stage to you and my trust have seen me throughout, using PPE, hygiene practices and a 'wait in the car until we call' approach instead of waiting rooms.

I agree with the above poster. That isn’t an acceptable level of care and you need to address is with them. I hope you can resolve it and feel a bit more supported moving forwards

Tbh I'm not sure it's 100% connected to the covid situation (I had a similar experience re urine samples last year - positive at the 8 week test but then not told until my 16 week appointment ). The pandemic does make everything more stressful though, especially having to go to scans etc by yourself , and not calling you for your 15 week appointment is really rubbish. Definitely keep calling them on whatever telephone number you have a make sure you get an appointment, be it by phone or in person.

I'm also feeling like this, I'm 11 weeks today and still haven't received a scan appointment, I rang the hospital to see whether I'd been booked in and just not received a letter but they said they didn't have any of my information yet and they were booked up for scans until the end of may!
I've also not had any blood tests done yet as my booking appointment was over the phone and was told everything would be done at the hospital.
I'm just anxious that when I do finally get an appointment I'll be rushed in and out! I've spoken to my midwife who's contacted the hospital and she said they'll be in touch in a few weeks. This is my first baby and I'm just very worried

Hi - I'm also 15 weeks and have felt a bit neglected - I do understand its all a bit slower at the moment but surely certain departments have to report things like infections - is that not just basic care?!

Definitely complain about this OP.

I've been unable to get hold of anyone and the actual phone numbers in my Maternity folder just either ring out to no answer, or even just come up as unrecognised!

Not hugely impressed so far and getting a lot of answers about things online at the moment to be honest. Hate being negative at times like this but some things aren't acceptable.

I'm 29 weeks, so my 12 and 20 week scans were pre-lockdown. However my antenatal care has been a bit hit and miss right from the beginning - I still don't have a designated/named midwife and I've been told I'm under the care of three different consultants (which isn't possible, in my hospital you are the care of one named consultant if consultant led!).... I managed to get a sheet from the booking in team about what appointments I should be having (for routine care, I've since been diagnosed with gestational diabetes so am having additional appointments) and have basically been making sure that all the appointments that should be booked in, are each time I visit the hospital. I also ring up to check my blood results are ok after each visit as I've never had calls to confirm/deny them (other than a call to say my gestational diabetes test came back positive). Whenever I speak to a midwife, in person or when I call up, they always say to ring them if you have any concerns so I am taking them at their word! I'd suggest starting to be a bit pushy and chasing things up rather than waiting to hear from them....!

I totally understand what you mean and hope your appointment is arranged soon. I'm also 15 weeks with my first baby and it's a tough time to be pregnant. My booking appointment was done over the phone a couple of days after lockdown was announced and shortly after I was made redundant, so I wasn't having the most chilled out time anyway. It was a complete waste of time. My call was around 20 minutes and would have been better done as an online questionnaire. My midwife clearly wasn't interested, or more likely, had bigger problems. Completely impersonal. It ended pretty abruptly with hardly any time for questions (I had so many daft questions from bath temperatures and to a piece of salami I'd accidentally eaten!)

Everyone is so distracted right now. I feel a thousand times better now into the second trimester but would have appreciated support in the first trimester when I was really hormonal and anxious. The NHS didn't even call as a courtesy aside from the booking appointment. The risks of antenatal mental health problems are pretty well documented and I'd have hoped pregnant women in this country would be much better supported - especially during a pandemic when we don't have access to normal sources of support.

Thank you so much for the responses, it's nice to be reassured that I'm not being selfish for feeling a bit let down. I'll definitely call my midwife and explain the situation! I'm really sorry to hear other people are feeling the same way too and not getting enough support :( I hope things get better for everyone and you all get the support you need too!

@Sakura92 Have you been treated for your infection? If I were you, I would also try my gp (in my area they seem an awful lot quieter than the midwife team).

You can also buy cheap urine testing strips off amazon. I’ve bought these myself as am prone to UTI and feel it needs to be checked more often than midwives are doing at the moment.

It’s a rubbish time to be pregnant. Definitely keep on at the midwife for that 15 week appointment. Antenatal care is important and they shouldn’t just ignore you! If it helps though my 16 week appointment was on telephone and midwife just rang without making any kind of prior appointment so you might hear from them yet.

girl, i'm with you 100%! i'm 20weeks today with my first and i feel like its such a 'secondary' thing as all we think of/deal with is to do with corona...

I'm feeling supported, I'm 24 weeks. I had an unscheduled call from the perinatal mental health team a few weeks ago to see how I was copying and whether I needed anything but I next see them at 32 weeks. I had a telephone appointment with the obsetrician and they arranged for my gp to get me some medication I needed. I am waiting to find out if my 25 week midwife appointment is going ahead next week.

The support I have had has been remote but enough to not feel forgotten, it doesn't take much. It's a shame that everyone isn't getting this. Please get in touch with your midwife or gp.

You should be more proactive at chasing these things up I’m afraid. I know it’s shit because you shouldn’t have to but when they don’t call you, give them a call and keep calling till you get through. It is a pain in the arse but sometimes needs to be done. Explain how unsupported you feel to your midwife as well, hopefully she takes note.

I think it's a bit postcode lottery at the moment, I've had pretty good access to care so far (21 weeks). I was pregnant for some weeks before lockdown and I've not noticed a change. I'm really sorry to hear some of you are getting messed about with appointments though.

35+2 here and yes, feeling very neglected. My last antenatal appointment was at 28 weeks, before lockdown began. I was never advised as to what I needed to do now regarding appointments (I usually book them through my GP), so I called up my GP's office to ask what I should do. They told me to call my local community midwife centre. I did so at 32 weeks as I knew I was supposed to have had another antenatal appointment by then, and left a voicemail. When they got back to me they literally just said "Well if your baby is moving okay then maybe give us a ring in a few weeks" and that was that. I have tried getting in contact again a couple of times over the past few weeks, but it always goes to voicemail and nobody ever gets back to me after I leave a message.

I have a family history of pre-eclampsia and yet I haven't had my blood pressure checked in nearly 8 weeks now because I haven't had a face-to-face appointment, let alone a phone appointment. I will be giving birth in 4-6 weeks time and have had no advise about what to expect, pain medication, anything. I have no idea how my baby's growth is, no idea how he is positioned. No idea what to do if I go into labour, just feel completely unprepared. I am so stressed out by this.

We're lucky to have some resources on the internet, I've done as much self-education as possible and luckily my local hospital has managed to get a local antenatal class group to provide some basic classes online for free so I am watching those tomorrow. But it still concerns me that I've had no appointments in nearly 8 weeks now, so there is no guarantee that everything is alright. I completely understand that things are different at the moment, that people will be seen less frequently as a result, and that I am seen as "low-risk". But I've honestly never felt so unprepared, scared and alone.

You aren't along OP. Were you treated for the UTI in the end? Maternity services are supposed to be running as close to normal as possible. I realise there will be staff sickness, but your story show very poor 'care' all around.

I was referred to midwifery services 5 weeks ago and still not heard a thing- no text, email or letter. I'm almost 9 weeks and their receptionist said to try again next week! I'm older, high risk, 2 previous losses, and no kids.

In my area, London, seems they aren't great at the best of times. My last pregnancy, I had 3 calls, over 3 weeks to ask WHY I hadn't attended any pre-natal appointments. As I'd pointed out on every call, its because I'd MC at 7 weeks!!! I'd even called the midwifery team to advise them and EPU told me that'd informed them also!

@devilishdemento- Why don't you buy a blood pressure machine if you have a family history of pre-eclampsia and not had it checked in 8weeks? They are handy in a household anyways, not just during pregnancy. Argos, amazon, ebay sell them from about £20.

Yes! In currently 31 weeks pregnant and I feel so worried.

Similar to you I had an infection no one told me about or gave me results for till I chased . My midwife appointments are all virtual and my scans I was told I needed due to being high risk are cancelled

I'm trying to stay calm and not worry but it's so hard !

I really hope your midwife gets in touch soon! I'm meant to have an appointment Monday. I had a call to say do not turn up as it's cancelled but nothing to re arrange it to a phone call 😩

@Sakura92 you’re not being selfish at all! Is your health and your baby. I’m 20w+6 and also felling a bit on the side with the follow up. The 16 week appointment was by phone and really short. I started to feel the baby kick quite strong at 18weeks and in the middle of the 19 I couldn’t feel anymore and panicked. I call my assigned midwife and a second midwife several times and nothing, they never answers the phone. I called everywhere until I got an answer, they told me was to early and most probably baby had change position but if I couldn’t feel nothing on the next three days to call again. Tbh, I felt very faint kicks on the third day but chased anyway for help. I got in contact with a random midwife and she booked me in in the same day, I could hear the heart beat and the sound of him moving and I could relax. Sometimes you need to make yourself to be heard, and for that sometimes you need to exaggerate in your feelings and symptoms.

I’m so sorry to be reading that so many of you are not being properly looked after.

I am now 26 weeks and my experience has been entirely positive. The message from every health professional I have seen is that my wellbeing is just as important during the pandemic. Some appointments have been cancelled then merged with others eg. bloods taken at hospital along with GTT test rather than with community midwife.

With this is mind I think you should contact the community midwives at your hospitals. I have done this and every time they have known who to call and got back to me with all my questions answered. I think the numbers are in your notes or call the hospital direct and ask to be put through to them.

I hope things improve for you 💐

I'm feeling the same too.

I'm 20 weeks pregnant and I'm not going to see a community midwife at all by the looks of it. They cancelled my 16 week appointment and said they'd call me at 24 weeks.

I understand the situation they're in and why they'd want to minimise face to face appointments but I think there's a huge risk that serious complications could be missed.

I'd have thought more regular phone calls to check on women's physical and mental health would have been offered.

There's a very real possibility that things like GD, pre-eclampsia & obstetric cholestasis will be missed because their symptoms can be quite innocuous at first.

I'm 28 weeks today and have nothing but positive things to say about the midwives where I am. Luckily our 12 and 20 week scans were pre-lockdown (just!), and I've never had appointments cancelled or moved. I dread to think how I'd feel if that happened (FTM and IVF pregnancy so I'm incredibly anxious anyway)! One of the community midwives is actually seeing me weekly now as I had a complete anxiety-related meltdown at 23 weeks when I went in for an episode of reduced movement. I really do think it depends which trust you're under.

Interesting to see the mixed experiences on here. I’m 27 weeks and have had a GD diagnosis this week but am also at risk of preeclampsia. My 12 and 20 week scans were before lockdown, and I saw a lovely midwife at 12 and 16 weeks - but then I was told I no longer have a dedicated midwife or even midwifery team, and just to call the emergency number in case of worrying symptoms. I’ve had at least 1 midwife appt and one scan cancelled, and not replaced. This is my second pregnancy but was v difficult to conceive and first pregnancy ended in MMC, so I am very anxious, and feel I cant ask any routine/daft questions. Was due to be referred to antenatal mental health but nothing happened, and my MH is too poor to chase this - I just feel I should be managing better. For other stuff I have been pushy, eg was told I had a GD test on a certain day but not sent a letter about fasting or any details of where to go, so called up to get this info - they were very blasé about the fact that I’d had no info though. It’s very hard to feel supported.

@HelloViroids I do feel for you. I've never had a "dedicated" midwife as such (other than the one who's now seeing me weekly, but I didn't start seeing her until 23 weeks) - when I go in for routine appointments I could get anybody! I don't mind as long as I'm seen though given what others are going through.

I have growth scans booked though at 33, 36 and 39 weeks due to a uterine fibroid that they want to keep an eye on, will be interesting to see if they go ahead now!

@Sakura92 How are you feeling now? Did you manage to find out about the possible infection?

I'm in a similar position. My 16-week appointment was cancelled and I just so happened to find out there was a problem with my urine sample when I called them about something else. I've had zero communications from anyone - they didn't tell me my appointment was cancelled or that there were problems with my sample. I'm kind of shocked that antenatal services are this poor and so sorry to read of other people's stories here.