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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Is it normal to not have sex in the 3rd trimester

14 replies

d577ta · 30/04/2020 15:38

I'm a bit shy to ask someone I know but is it normal to stop having sex in the 3rd trimester. I am 33 weeks pregnant and I just don't want sex right now. My partner is very good and has not pestered me at all. I'm just worried because I know sex is really important to a man and to a relationship. After the baby comes I won't be able to have sex for another while either That will be 3-4 months without sex. Will our relationship be okay? I am scared he will look elsewhere (even though he is not like that). I think I've read too many trashy magazines in my life where the woman is always cheated on whilst giving birth etc. Anybody else's experience would really help.

OP posts:

Wingingthis · 30/04/2020 15:41

Just had my second baby a week ago and both times no sex in the third trimester for me!! Too uncomfortable

coffeeandgin26 · 30/04/2020 15:41

Only you know if your relationship will be ok. If he's a decent partner and dad, then yes it will be. If he's a bit of a twat, then maybe not. If he is the sort of person who would cheat because he's not getting it from his pregnant partner or new mama partner then he's a twat.

For me - we had more sex than ever in the last trimester because that's what pregnancy does to me, and we were back to it as soon as we Safely could after - sex is important to me as well, and I was more in love with my partner than ever after giving birth, so I wanted him even more. However, it can be crap if you're not feeling it.

BeautyAndTheBump1 · 30/04/2020 16:03

Sex? What is that??

Nevermind the 3rd trimester, I havent wanted it the whole pregnancy

peetieswie · 30/04/2020 16:03

We haven't had sex in quite a while. I'm 32 weeks pregnant. He hasn't tried and I haven't tried but if he wanted to do stuff I'd be OK with it. I'm not sure partner wants to as I think he's a bit nervous of the impact on the baby. I keep thinking I should probably initiate something but we've both been exhausted. I'm not worried husband will cheat though but it did cross my mind that we'd end up one of those couples that are just friends as we're not very cuddly either. We're always taking the mick out of each other though and talk a lot so I'm not worried we're not close. Basically, I don't know, but I don't think it's a particularly bad sign.

Itsnoteasyfeelingqueasy · 30/04/2020 16:54

@d577ta the last thing you need to worry about is keeping your partner sexually satisfied! Focus on what you need right now, it’s totally understandable that you don’t feel like having sex. Me and my husband only have sex about once a month anyway and have only had sex a few times during pregnancy. Nothing bad has happened! Men can sort themselves out in the shower or whatever if you know what I mean 😉

SparkleUK · 30/04/2020 17:02

It's completely okay not to want or have sex anytime but also so in pregnancy.

I felt like a massive achy whale but we only had sex a few times because we wanted to make him come out 😂. It was awkward and we just laughed so it wasn't like normal. There are other ways you can show each other love without that so don't feel pressured into it and just try and enjoy your last bits of time together, just you

crazychemist · 30/04/2020 17:03

Depends how you both feel. Have you talked to him about what he thinks? My DH was occasionally freaked out during 3rd trimester - spooning was the only way that worked for us, and he found it very off-putting that the baby was moving around during sex! So it really tailed off.

This time, we've had very little sex (9 weeks so far) because I've had AWFUL backache (didn't have that with DD1). I think providing your DP understands the reasons they won't mind too much - I suspect it's more of a problem if the guy thinks you're just not bothered with him any more! Can you find other ways of having romance and focussing on the two of you before you become 3?

Normalmumandwife · 30/04/2020 17:06

I don't think there is a norm. Personally we always had sex at that time, and enjoyed having lots of it. Was about 6 weeks before we resumed on each pregnancy and I was more than ready to.
Not everyone is though
Don't worry about cheating unless he has a history or you dint trust him, in which case I would ask why you are pregnant?

mouse1234567 · 30/04/2020 17:07

Don’t worry, I think we have had sex a grand total of 1-2 times during the whole pregnancy (33weeks). I have always been worried about causing bleeding etc so we have pretty much avoided it. After quite a long IVf process where sex was banned, it’s been a lonnnnnng time.

Raaaa · 30/04/2020 17:32

I don't think I wanted it in the second trimester as I didn't really look pregnant just like I've eaten a big meal and felt a bit unattractive. In the Third trimester we probably did it the most haha as I thought to hell with it!

allfurcoatnoknickers · 30/04/2020 17:37

I threw up for my whole pregnancy so we very rarely had sex. I asked DH if he minded, and he said he was afraid I'd be sick on his face, so he was fine with a lack of action .

Didn't have much (any?) sex in my third trimester because I felt like a bloated, unsexy manatee carcass. Again, DH was fine with it, he didn't want to have sex if I didn't want to.

LittleBoyJuly2020 · 30/04/2020 17:44

I'm 28 weeks, we've been active in that area since the start, probably every other day.
Bump is now getting more prominent but I don't think it'll be too much of a problem
If I start feeling like I don't want to do it, I'll stop and I'm sure OH will survive a few weeks without it.

Not doing it in the third trimester is perfectly ok, it's such a small span of time in the grand scheme of things. If you're both comfortable with it being that way, then it's your normal and that's fine.

Original poster

d577ta · 02/05/2020 14:57

Hi All, thank you all for the responses it's really helped to reassure me and it seems like every couple is different. I suppose me and the other half will have to navigate through this together. I feel better knowing that other couples have survived this period without too much pressure on that side of things. We do love each other and any worries are more about me being insecure than anything to do with him. I'm glad to know other people have gone through this period without just fine. I suppose we have a lot of other things to focus on right now too :)

OP posts:

KellyHall · 02/05/2020 15:04

The most important thing is to keep talking to each other. It's easy to post on MN and not have difficult but important conversations.

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