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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Pregnant and scared

11 replies

Roro88 · 28/04/2020 21:51

I’ve only been with my partner for 6 months, we live together. He is 37 and I’m 31, he already has 2 kids to his previous partner and I’m not sure if he wants anymore. I found out a week ago I’m pregnant.
I’m on the pill and also have pcos so wasn’t expecting to get pregnant and don’t no what to do. I haven’t told him yet, I’m scared too as he is having problems with previous partner and kids at the moment.
I had a termination almost 9 years ago and don’t think I can go through that again. Just don’t know what to do. Also he hasn’t told me he loves me yet, I told him almost 2 months ago but he hasn’t said it back. Help

OP posts:

Lilolily · 29/04/2020 00:06

The first step is to just have the conversation. It’s scary as hell but at least then you can make a plan.

Good luck x

Original poster

Roro88 · 30/04/2020 21:04

Thanks, I did it but didn’t go well at all. He accused me of getting pregnant on purpose and basically said we haven’t been together long enough to have a baby, we aren’t in the financial situation and he doesn’t want to have kids to different mums (as he isn’t sure if we will last it’s too early to tell).
So we have decided to have an abortion, but I have a feeling he is waiting for me to have it and then will finish with me.

OP posts:

Rochelle89 · 30/04/2020 21:12

Hi ladies was just wondering up u til yesterday my morning sickness has been so severe but I have started to eat a lot less and smaller meals and although feel nauseous I am not being sick as much I am 9 weeks tomorrow and due to my past ( I have had 3 miscarriages and a still birn baby boy) I am overly anxious and just want to know this is alright many thanks any help or support would be welcome

allthesharks · 30/04/2020 21:20

@Roro88 I'm sorry it didn't go well. Make sure you're really sure about your decision to have an abortion. You know that if you do decide to have the baby you'll be doing it on your own, but he would still have a financial responsibility for his child. It's all well and good him claiming you did it on purpose, but he knows that a possible consequence of having sex is pregnancy and therefore it is his responsibility too.

ahsan · 30/04/2020 23:09

Either way you will be on your own, do what you think right as he will leave you anyway. With your history I’d keep the child and tell him to fuck off

BeMorePacific · 30/04/2020 23:11

You should never terminate a wanted baby. Decide what you want to do, and if it’s right for you then do it. There are a lot of single mums out there doing an amazing job x

SparkleUK · 01/05/2020 08:06

Hi OP,

Hope you're doing okay today.
There's so many threads about women who terminate their babies to keep a man because of their ridiculous reactions but they either end up resenting them so the relationship fails anyway or the man and their behaviour cause the relationship to break down.

You didn't just come up with some immaculate conception to create a baby to trap him. Every man is equally as responsible and if he really didn't want children, he should've made this explicitly clear and taken more responsibility for ensuring it didn't happen.

If you really want this baby and don't want to go through with a termination, please don't. There is plenty of support you can access and he doesn't sound as if he's been very supportive to you thus far so what difference would it make? It's your body and its not up to him to tell you what to do with it or your baby.
Sending hugs

zscaler · 01/05/2020 08:14

@Rochelle89 you should start your own thread - this OP is looking for very different advice to you x

@Roro88 I’m so sorry he reacted so badly. He doesn’t sound like a very decent man.

You don’t have to terminate if you don’t want to. It’s totally your choice. It’s absolutely fine if you don’t think you can go through pregnancy alone and don’t want to continue, but if you do it’s your choice. There is lots of support available for single mothers, and your partner will have to pay child support regardless of how happy he is about it.

SpillTheTeaa · 01/05/2020 08:23

It's your body so it's your choice not his.
In all honesty OP does he even want to be with you? He sounds nasty and doesn't love you by the sounds of it.
If he thought that then he should have wrapped his little friend up then shouldn't he to be extra cautious!
He will blame you, of course. Manipulative scumbag.
Remember, your body, your choice.

Original poster

Roro88 · 01/05/2020 16:21

Thanks for all your messages, I just feel so confused at the moment.

OP posts:

GherkinsOnToast · 01/05/2020 16:52

You say you think he will break up with you after the termination and we won't stay if you have the baby so basically you are not thinking you'll have a future with him with or without the baby - so what do you want? You need you do what is right for you and you alone. if you don't think you can cope mentally or physically with a termination don't do it. If it is what you want and you can deal with it mentally and physically then do it.

Do not be bullied by anyone on what you should do.

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