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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnant and not having sex

8 replies

Seventytwoseventythree · 28/04/2020 12:07

My husband and I have been together 8 years. We met in our early 20s and at that time had plenty of sex, it has tailed off over the years which is understandable (and was coming from both sides) but before I was pregnant we were having sex 2 or 3 times a week. We had a difficult time getting pregnant and I said I wasn’t comfortable having sex in the early stages which he was fine with. Then the first trimester awfulness kicked in and I felt horrendous until around 17 weeks. He didn’t pressure me at all during this time and I was grateful. Once I started to feel better I made some advances and he was always happy to have sex if I initiated it but wouldn’t initiate himself. Since the bump became bigger he started saying he didn’t feel like it, he was tired etc when I would initiate. I don’t have a problem with that obviously but it was every single time so I raised it with him. He insists that everything’s fine and he still fancies me but he just feels weird with the baby being in there. There’s plenty of affectionate non sexual contact still and everything else is fine. With body changes and so on I obviously don’t feel that sexy and I have explained to him several times that it’s important to me that we maintain our sex life and I think if I felt that he still fancied me it would help with how I feel. I feel like I know he is entitled to his opinion and obviously I don’t want to pressure him. However I also feel really sad that we’ve not having sex at all now for a couple of months and I’m a bit worried that it will never go back to how it was (assume there won’t be much happening in that department for a few months after birth!). Should I just ride it out and see what happens post partum? Should I talk to him again? I should add as well that I’ve suggested other sexual activities that we used to enjoy but he says no (previously unheard of!) so I’m worried there’s more to it than just the baby and he maybe doesn’t see me like that any more.

OP posts:
Colouringinbook · 28/04/2020 12:27

My DH didn't like the bump at all. I think it's hard for them to admit because it's sort of like rejecting your body and the baby at the same time!

PP once I was ready to have sex again (which wasn't for ages due to a horrific birth) we just went back to normal - well apart from the bit where it's only at nap time or bed time and we have to be quieter! Wink

Willow4987 · 28/04/2020 12:29

My DH and I are the same - it just feels weird to us when there’s a baby in there so we always abstain when I’m pregnant

Things go back to normal afterwards

Connie222 · 28/04/2020 12:36

I just can’t bring myself to have sex when pregnant.

I’ve had three pregnancies and been sick throughout each. When I’m not feeling sick, the kicks have started and I’m fucking fed up with being touched from the inside by someone let alone having Dh touch me on the outside!

He understands totally though.

loubert89 · 28/04/2020 12:48

My husband and I haven't had sex since we found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. First it was the awful morning sickness, which didn't subside until around week 23 and now I just feel so uncomfortably big.

I figure once baby arrives we'll make a new normal in regards to our sex life.

Birdy1991 · 28/04/2020 12:51

Personally I just can’t really be bothered and neither can he too much 😂 manoeuvring the bump can be difficult and I’m extremely fatigued. I’m sure things will go back to normal for you x

PAJJ · 28/04/2020 15:04

Same as most here - 29 weeks and can't think of anything worse! I don't seem to have any libido and my husband understands and says he finds it a bit odd with a big bump there... hopefully he's not just saying this to pacify me!

Feel relieved seeing all these posts as thought I might be the odd one out - I have seen so many people say they're the opposite in pregnancy!

Try not to worry, I'm sure it will all go back to normal.

Nelbert19 · 28/04/2020 15:32

My husband finds the bump weird too and I find it very distracting, whether it’s because I’m worried it’s getting squashed or I’m worried I look like a blimp!

First 4 months I was a sweaty, vomiting, migrainous mess so no sex then. I’m now 27 weeks and think we’ve had sex about 5 times? I expect less during the third trimester too!

I’m not too worried, we’re still physically affectionate with each other and I’m sure desires will return after I’ve recovered from the birth.

Seventytwoseventythree · 29/04/2020 11:15

Thank you for sharing everyone - I feel better knowing it’s not just me!

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