Petrified - drug/alcohol use unknowingly pregnant

[KellyLouise08]

I’m completely new to the community/first post and am desperate for some advice. I’ve found out that I am pregnant (around 6 weeks), but during time I have (unknowingly re my pregnancy) consumed alcohol, smoked as I normally would along with 5 or 6 separate occasions taken cocaine (around 1 gram each time). The pregnancy has taken me completely surprise and my initial reaction was one of dread, breaking down in tears and complete panic. I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend (7 years) and we have known for around a week. Although like me he was shocked, he has said he’ll support my decision either way. After a few days of talking things through I decided that factors such as my recreational activities will have had too much of an impact to not affect my baby, and that the idea of this is too much for me to bare, with termination seeming the right thing to do. However, since booking my termination (due to take place tomorrow) I have been having second thoughts as to whether I can go through with it/be able to live with myself? But the risk to my unborn child keeps swaying me between head and heart. We hadn’t planned on having a baby any time soon, but had agreed that we both one day wanted children. In terms of our living situation, we brought our first home 5 years ago and have worked hard to renovate it, with a view to to buy somewhere bigger in a year or so. However the current covid situation is also a factor in our decision, with my partner currently furloughed, and my own job uncertain working within the construction industry. I really would appreciate some advice, any thoughts, as I’m just in such a state trying to rationalise everything. Ultimately it’s the risk I may have done to my child through the aforementioned that really is playing on mind as to whether it’s right to keep the baby and living with the potential impact this has had during the early weeks of pregnancy. Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share their thoughts, please don’t judge too much as I’m already in pieces beating myself up.

I think the thing to remember is there is at present only a tiny cluster of cells in you - drugs and alcohol can't do anything to it!

My cousin had a very heavy coke habit and had 4 perfectly healthy babies during the time she was using. Her mum got custody of all 4 and they are now happy and healthy teens. It's very unlikely the baby will have been harmed, do what's best for you 💜

@kellylouise08 First off, well done on having the courage to share on this forum and ask for advice. It's not an easy thing to do. And please ignore the judgemental comments.

Ultimately, and you know this yourself, the decision lies completely with you. I had an abortion when I was 21 (12 years ago) and it wasn't a pleasant experience but I was completely certain about doing it and I still feel it was the right decision. However, it's not something I'm proud of and I feel sorrow when I think about it.

The hardest thing I found was that afterwards I was still full of pregnancy hormones and felt so maternal. I actually got a cat because I desperately needed something to care for and love.

It is your choice, but if you don't feel that you are 100% sure then maybe,don't do it.

Good luck and take care x

People can be very judgemental on this site, which is odd as its meant to be a place to go to for support and advice. She asked for advice not commentary on her lifestyle!

In answer to the OP, as pp have said, loads of people don’t realise they are pregnant for months and continue to drink and smoke etc and the baby is fine. Personally, I know a girl who took cocaine once (not sure how much..) when she was 8 weeks along and the child is now 5, smart and healthy. Good luck.