Hi everyone!
Long time lurker and first post here, hope you're all doing well. Sorry this is kind of a long rant - tldr at the bottom.
So, I'm 38 weeks pregnant tomorrow and my partner is in the extremely vulnerable category due to having a kidney transplant last year.
We were planning on a home birth as he could keep his distance from the midwives and we could disinfect everything after they leave, still risky but he'd get to see the birth of his daughter.
Unfortunately I had to go to hospital for checks on the 17th, then blood tests came back with abnormal liver function.
I've been staying with my mum since then as I've been in hospital a few times as I don't want to risk him.
My mum hasn't left the house since march except to drive me to hospital as she wants to meet the baby as soon as she's born, so no worries with germs from her.
Unfortunately I've been diagnosed with having cmv at some point in my pregnancy, absolutely devastated and feel so guilty and worried. But I had an ultrasound last week and she's measuring wonderfully and no abnormalities.
Still, I will have to give birth in hospital with a paediatrician present.
I've been away from my partner since the 17th and miss him soooo much. I'm planning on going back home this Thursday as it will be 7 days from my last hospital visit. I have a midwife appt Friday but it's only in a small centre with no one else there, so I will keep my distance from him for a week but stay home, as I have been doing for previous appts.
Anyway, the birth! I so do want him to miss it, his transplant consultant said it might be ok if he's dressed in full PPE, but it's up to him whether he wants to take that risk.
We don't want to take PPE away from those who need it, but idk perhaps?
His family are all assuming he's not coming to the birth and that I will live with my mum for a week after. But a week! I'm guessing newborns can change a lot in that time, I'd be so sad for him to miss that time with her. Before this we talked a lot about skin to skin and he was planning on helping feed her if I pump etc.
But, he had a bad case of pneumonia a couple of years ago and was in hospital a whole for that, I could only imagine what covid would do to him... It's not worth it, is it?
My dad also died of pneumonia related issues in February so that's fresh - I am terrified of my partner getting it. So I suppose if rather he miss the first week than the rest of them? It's just so hard.
I'm not really sure what I'm asking now haha, just, what would you do?
Also any positive cmv stories?
Thanks so much if you read all of that.
Tldr; I have to give birth in hospital but my partner is shielding, do we risk him coming in?