Miscarriage support PLEASE

[KM2003]

Hi ladies.
I wrote here a week ago asking to get some support regarding my bleeding situation ar week 8 (there was also no heartbeat so fetus didnt develop). I ended up having a miscarriage.
I'm extremely sad and angry. Hoped to get some positive stories from mums who have been through this situation in their first pregnancy and ended up having a healthy baby in the next round.

Please only good and not horror stories (i saw enough on google)

Thank you....

I'm sorry you're going through this. It really is a horrible thing to experience but unfortunately very common. I didn't realise until I had one how many woman have also been through it. I have a miscarriage at 9 weeks but was with my second pregnancy and i already had a DC. I did however go on to fall pregnant 3 months later and had a normal healthy pregnancy.

My cousin had 4 miscarriages before she went on to have her DD so it's no indication that you can't carry a healthy pregnancy.

I know it's tough but try not to be too hard o. Yourself. There are some great threads on her providing suport for people in the same position. Sometimes it just helps to know others are in the same boat. to you

How awful for you. It wasn't my first pregnancy, but I miscarried at the end of Jan this year. I then fell pregnant before I even got my first period. I'm now almost 13 weeks and baby is healthy. It definitely helped me mentally falling pregnant again.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. I miscarried last summer at 11 weeks and it was very upsetting, it wasn’t my first pregnancy but it was a big shock after a totally uneventful pregnancy with DC1. I was pregnant again 4 months later and am now 34 weeks with a (as far as we know) healthy baby. It is unfortunately very common, I know lots of women who have been through it and all went on to have healthy pregnancies afterwards.

I miscarried in my first pregnancy in September 2018. I had bleeding just days before my 12 week scan and discovered the heartbeat had stopped around 8 weeks. I eventually had a D&C as I didn’t fully miscarry naturally after 3 weeks of waiting. It was the longest weeks of my life.

I conceived again in the second cycle after my D&C and my DD was born nearly a year to the day of my miscarriage. She’s now 7.5 months and perfectly healthy 😊

She’s been the biggest healer for me, I remember at the time I felt awful and so sad, but it feels almost like it never happened now. You just need to get through these next few months, be kind to yourself.

Hope you can conceive again soon and have your rainbow baby xx

Sorry for your loss OP. There is a miscarriage forum under body and soul where you may find more support.

I miscarried my first pregnancy and although I was earlier on that you were I was still distraught at the potential life lost. It did take me a while to get pregnant again (won't tell you how long as you're looking for positive stories) but that was nothing to do with the miscarriage. I now have a perfect 6 month old ds after a mostly uneventful pregnancy. It's surprising how many first pregnancies actually end in miscarriage - usually it bears no relation to you ability to carry a healthy baby next time around. Good luck, hope everything goes well next time!

I am really very sorry to read about your mmc. I’ve had five mmc over the course of five years (I chose to have D&Cs after each because my body would not naturally let go for a while). BUT, after my first mmc I decided to try again immediately after first period because I kept reading that the body is very fertile for a short period immediately thereafter. I fell pregnant within three weeks of trying. That pregnancy led to my current joyful and clever five year old daughter. ❤️ My second mmc was a 17 months after my daughter’s birth. And again, I had a D&C, then tried immediately after my first period and in two weeks I was pregnant! Now I have another hilarious and cheeky just barely three year old (tomorrow is her birthday). And then after waiting two years we decided to try again for our third and final child and it took two mmc to then fall pregnant successfully. Keep in mind my fifth mmc (sent off for genetic testing) was due to Turner’s Syndrome and poor egg quality correlated which is likely related to my geriatric age of 41 ☺️. Anyway, I again tried after the D&C and first period and 11 days later I fell pregnant. I am not 21 weeks pregnant.

My body just seems to miscarry, but I was quite calculated in how to fall pregnant- not always to my DH desire. I genuinely felt I wanted to “take advantage” of fertile moments so there was less long term pressure to fall pregnant with or at a relaxed pace. But keep in mind, we had decided to wait to try for our babies til we were 35 & 38 so I felt my biological clock ticking to a very specific drum, particularly if I had any hope of having three in my future (which I’ve wanted for a long time).

My DH was not always happy about my “agenda” as he called it but he’s been the most amazing man to bear children with and share my life with and I worked very hard to be spontaneous too so it didn’t seem he was always there just to DTD for an end result: pregnancy. ☺️
I was very driven after my mmcs because I wanted children but it did cause a few ugly arguments between myself & DH. Ultimately though, my body and mind had a very synchronised goal: babies.
The choice to try so soon after is so personal. The trauma of miscarriage is real. I needed the physical and emotional support from my DH, which satisfied my drive or need to quickly fall pregnant again, so I chose not to wait. Every person is different.

I used the Ovvia app to follow my ovulation and sometimes I used sticks to track my ovulation (not often but just to gauge I was guessing more or less).

Always have sex 2-3 days before you ovulate! I fell pregnant in this way both times with my last two 😎

Stay positive. Relax. Have sex and enjoy it! You know you can pregnant and that in itself is half the battle. The next hurdle is to stay pregnant 👍🏻👍🏻

Good luck and sending you lots of baby dust! 💗💗

Sorry for your loss. I miscarried around a similar time, waiting for my first cycle before trying again. Feel pregnant on my second cycle of trying and had a beautiful healthy baby. I found it scary as it was my first pregnancy and I thought what if my body can’t handle being pregnant but reading others peoples stories helped so I hope hearing mine helps you x

Awww, I know how much it hurts . Stay strong ❤️

I had a miscarriage 2 years ago at 9 weeks pregnant . 4 months after the miscarriage I fell pregnant again and had a baby boy last Winter.

I’m 11 weeks pregnant now with baby number 2!

@KM2003 Hey, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this - you have every right to feel sad and angry, it’s such an unfair and confusing time

The problem with miscarriage is, life doesn’t prepare you for it, we’re not taught about it as young women and it’s still taboo for a lot of people. I have had two very early miscarriages at around 5 weeks.

It wasn’t until I did some research that I found out that it’s much more common than we think but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. I felt really lost after my second one. I also lied to myself that because it was early my feelings didn’t matter as much as someone who has lost a baby further along. This is so untrue, every loss counts and hurts because you lose a piece of your future and dreams.

After my second one, we weren’t trying that hard and just relaxed but I ended up conceiving straight away without having a period, I’m now 16 weeks and finally feeling calmer and like a pregnant lady the first 12 weeks were full of anxiety.

One thing I would say is that when you get pregnant again, you may feel worried and scared but remember you have every right to feel joy in your new pregnancy. It’s ok to feel scared but good times will come again and nice feelings.

Also if you get any symptoms that worry you, always call your midwife, don’t drive yourself crazy worrying, I had a slight bleed with this one, but it was nothing to worry about and everything was fine. Good luck x x

Hello, I'm so sorry that you're going through this. This is my story.

I tried for eight years for a baby. In the end, we had ICSI. We were very lucky that it worked first time and we got DS.

The treatment was tough emotionally so although we wanted another baby, I decided I couldn't do it again so DS would be our only one.

When he was 18 months old, I got pregnant naturally. Obviously we were overjoyed. I had a bit of bleeding and had an early scan - it was twins. We couldn't believe our luck. But the scan showed one might be miscarrying. It was. I lost one baby at six weeks and the other at eight weeks. I was distraught. Of course I was so lucky to have DS but I wanted another. It took me months to recover from the loss. About a year later, I got pregnant again. It was another miscarriage. I was equally devastated. I decided that I just couldn't do this anymore, I had to let it go and to draw a line under babies and move on with our lives. I still took folic acid though, you never know..... three months later I was pregnant again. This time, we got dd!!

My dcs are 15 and 11 now. They are my world, our world. I never forgotten my lost babies though. I have named them, I raise a glass to them on the dates they were due. I thought about them on the day they would have started school..... they will always be tucked away in my heart.

Most women I know have had miscarriages. Some are lucky enough not to go through this ordeal but plenty do. Be kind to yourself good luck, I hope there are happier times ahead for you xxx

These stories have helped me also. Thank you ladies x

I also had a miscarriage in my first pregnancy and lost the baby at 12 weeks on 27.03.20. I’m eager to be pregnant again. How Many weeks did you find it took to have your first period? I’ve still not come on but have taken cheap strip pregnancy tests that have come back negative.

So sorry to hear this

It's sad that it still seems a somewhat taboo subject and that in real life people don't want to talk about it.

My first pregnancy ended up in miscarriage at around the same time as you.

A year later after my second pregnancy I gave birth to my son.

Speaking to close friends nearly all of us have had at least one miscarriage. One friend had 3 in a row but then went on to have 3 healthy children all naturally conceived.

Knowing it's more prevalent than you might think doesn't make the loss of a much wanted pregnancy any less heartbreaking, but it gives hope in so far that the vast majority of women go on to have successful pregnancies.

It may sound callous but as sad as I was at the time I rarely think about it anymore (admittedly many years later) and when I do it's not upsetting.

It's just part of life's tapestry and I've simply come to accept is wasn't to be, but in fairness I think getting pregnant quite quickly again helped (this time with a successful outcome).