Bad news from 20 week scan - advice needed

[Sherbet27]

I had my 20 week scan yesterday at 20+4.
They found 2 cysts on the baby’s brain and too much fluid on the left side, where the bigger cyst is.

I have to go back for a repeat scan in 3 weeks time to see if the fluid has reduced. If it hasn’t, it doesn’t look good. My baby could either have Down syndrome or a condition such as learning difficulties, brain damage, speech etc. We were offered the amniotic sac test yesterday but declined until we find out whether the fluid reduces.

Looking for anybody who has experienced this before who can help me talk through this. I am shocked and completely heart broken and have children at home to think about too.

I don’t have any experience here, but I’m so sorry you’ve had this bad news. Just wanted to offer some virtual sympathy. I hope someone more helpful comes along soon xx

I am so sorry to hear this. Did you have any indication at your 12 week scan?

I can't imagine what it's like having to wait for 3 weeks. I am sorry.

We had an abnormality picked up at anomaly scan which meant the baby either had an ovarian cyst or a blocked kidney and I was so emotional I can't imagine what you are going through and no real advise to give but if you want to chat we are here to listen xx

I'm afraid I don't have any experience but just wanted to offer some support. I'm sure you're going through every situation in your head but if you've decided to wait for a repeat scan then the kindest thing you can do for yourself is whatever you can to relax. With other children at home too I absolutely sympathise.

It might be helpful when you feel ready to discuss with your OH how you and the children would cope with a disabled child in the family. My DS2 has autism and finds change hugely stressful so this is something my DH and I have discussed. Don't feel guilty for having a frank discussion with your OH or your doctors about all the options and possible outcomes when you're ready. Every family is different and personally I'd prefer to be prepared.

Handholding and hugs.
I've been there, OP. In our case, it ended sadly. We had other soft markers apart from a massive cyst. It's reassuring that your baby doesn't have other soft markers, though understandably, the cysts generate lots of anxiety and worry. Take heart in the fact that for many mothers and babies, the situation ends happily.
It's a terribly anxious waiting game and all you can do is hang onto hope with all of your strength. Cysts can absolutely go away on their own. Good luck at the next scan. I'm rooting for your little one all the way and I really hope with all my heart that your news will be good.

We have decided to wait until the next scan before we make a decision on whether we want the further test for DS (if we need this)... we are holding onto the hope of the cysts decreasing and the fluid.
It’s extremely hard with children at home to continue as normal, I have barely made it out of my bed all day.
Thank you for all your support

They told my MIL DH had cysts on the brain and she should terminate. Aside from being a pain in the arse, he’s absolutely fine- no health conditions at all.

I would take a wait and see approach.