Talk to me about 2 kids with a small gap and a third with a larger

[AllTheWhoresOfMalta]

Hello all

Just looking for some opinions here. Me and DP have always wanted three kids. I had very bad pregnancies and a bad run of health after though, so we stopped after number 2 (now aged almost 4). There’s only a year and a half between both our kids.

We wouldn’t be in a position to try for a third for two more years (studying), so youngest would be 6 before I even got pregnant, more like 6.5 by the time they got their younger sibling if I fell pregnant immediately. Elder child would be 8/8.5.

DP thinks it’s too big a gap and the third kid would be lonely. I do and I don’t: I would have rather had a third immediately but as we didn’t I don’t think this age gap would be insane. I would also be 37, which he also thinks is too old considering I had such bad pregnancies at 29/30.

He would still like a third and is open to persuasion I think. I’m far from set on the idea. I just wonder if anyone here can advise based on their own experiences. Part of me wondered whether it’s better to count your blessings and move on, but I have always imagined a third.

TIA.

My two are boy and girl age just 11 and just 9💕very planned and wanted. I always thought we'd have three but it never seemed a good time and then the gap was getting too big so we decided to move on and tbh couldn't really face going back again...a few years on and I'm 23 weeks pregnant...very big surprise and completely unplanned...mixed reactions from kids and family but mainly positive😁can't comment any further at this stage...sure there'll be plenty of challenges but loads of positives🤗

Every time i seen this title I thought it said child with a lager made me chuckle.

If it helps, I'm 24 my sister is 27 and my little brother is only 13.

He was a lovely surprise 11 years after me!!

Lovely age gap with me and my sister, she is honestly my bestest friend. We've always got on. And the age gap between us and my brother is lovely as we helped look after him etc and now he says it's like having three mums. Whenever he needs a lift or money etc he has three people to bug instead of one!!! 🤣

I'm 39 and 35 weeks' pregnant with my third (a little girl). First baby for fiancé. My sons from my nightmare of an ex-husband are 10 and 12.5!

My husband was the youngest in this situation. His eldest brother is 8 years older and his sister is 6 years older. Growing up he did feel more like an only child but didn't have an unhappy childhood. The older two siblings are naturally closer but they obviously still all love each other. I think the main issue now that they are all grown up is that my husband's successes are often compared to the older siblings, which is obviously unfair as he is significantly younger. I guess it doesn't help that my husband and his eldest brother chose the same career! But when I compare his relationship with his siblings to my relationship with my sisters, who are 2 and 4 years younger - there is a distinct difference in closeness. That's just my personal experience though, everyone is different!

I have 2 with just under 2 years between them. I'm pregnant with number 3 and my older 2 are 11and 13. They're excited about the baby although a bit wary of the crying at night and nappies. In some ways it's nice having the age gap as they understand what's going on and possibly have more of an idea what having a baby in the house will involve.
I do worry about him being lonely but hopefully with groups and schools he'll have friends instead. My sister is 7 years older than me and we're very close.

My children were 10 and 8 when I had my third. They have all been incredibly close their whole lives. It really changed our family for the better. The older 2 loved him to bits and were always happy to care for him and play with him.

They are 50, 48 and 40 now and are still close. They socialise together and look after each other’s children and are brilliant when they have had troubles. They will confide more in each other than me.

As things turned out the two eldest had 4 children between them very close together. Then the oldest and youngest had 2 children each at the same time. My grandchildren are growing up more like brothers and sisters than cousins. And the older grandchildren are mates with my youngest rather than seeing him as an uncle.

My two were 6 and 8 when their baby brother came along. He’s brought a different dynamic to the family which I love. The big ones adore h and he adores them. They don’t play together much as older ones are not really into trains etc but they do enjoy the odd game of monsters or chasing around.

I've got 2 v close in age and then they were both at school when I had dc3.

It was the right decision for us. I always wanted more than 2 but the close age gap floored us and I was so exhausted we couldn't have had 3 in close succession.

Dc3 is utterly adored and very much part of our family. They all play together a lot but he is also good at playing independently because they're often out at activities and school etc. Despite being older when he came song, and having been in holidays and had lots of time as a 2, they don't really remember not having him.

No gap is perfect, lots of people don't get to choose. How siblings get on is often more to do with personalities and dynamics than age.