Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Really struggling with pregnancy and feel so sad

6 replies

DaiJai1066 · 21/04/2020 10:51

I’m just feeling so overwhelmed by it all, I had awful morning sickness until 20 weeks, was hospitalised at 22 weeks and at 25 weeks admitted with pre-term labour. The hospital’s maternity part is awful, I’m high risk and have been self isolating and was placed in a bay with a woman coughing and talking all night on her phone despite the midwives telling her to keep it down and then another woman who was violent. I have met some of the worst midwives who argue with each other and drs in front of me, had awful comments made by them about how I should have stayed at home and now I am at home I feel awful. I can’t sleep, stand up or sit up for more than 10 minutes without pain and just feel so useless. The pain relief they gave me I react too so I hate taking it. I have another 11 weeks to go and the idea of being in pain all day every day makes me cry. I’m sorry if this is just a moany thread but I just feel so guilty. I can’t FaceTime my friends due to pain, I can’t read or concentrate on anything and I’m being the worst partner by just crying all the time. I’m meant to be working from home but I’m overwhelmed by how far behind I am. I just want to be myself again, not exhausted by just having a shower, not having to decide between getting out of bed to eat or sit in the garden. I have wanted this baby for so long and I feel very lucky to have them but I can’t actually visualise them being here. I’m so worried that my mental health is being affected and this will continue afterwards and I have no outside support. The gps and midwives are overwhelmed in the community, our Nct classes have been cancelled and this wasn’t how my pregnancy was meant to be. I may never return to my much loved job and I miss my friends and family who live hours away. Please can somebody tell me how to start feeling better.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Twitchett22 · 21/04/2020 11:01

Oh bless you. What is your pain from? Is it an option to change hospitals? I didn't have a very positive experience with my midwives either with my last pregnancy but kept reminding myself that it's just luck of the draw which midwife you get and some of them are lovely. It's very normal to feel generally fed up and pissed off during pregnancy, try to focus on the end goal. But if you feel your mental health is suffering make sure you speak to your gp.
And don't apologise for moaning! Sometimes Mumsnet is the best place to moan because no one knows you and you can say what you like. Just don't struggle by yourself, keep talking. And in 11 weeks it will all be over and totally worth it x

NicNac100 · 21/04/2020 11:06

Didn't want to read and run, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, your hospital experience sounds horrible, no wonder you're feeling overwhelmed by it all. But sounds like being at home is far better for you, even if you're in pain, you have your home comforts and your partner. Are you work understanding, could you explain to them how you're struggling physically and mentally and maybe they can alleviate some of the work so you don't feel so under pressure there? To try and relax and get a little sleep, I've found some mediation for sleep on YouTube which help me - I like Emma Kenny and Jason Stephenson. Also maybe some hypnobirthing apps or breathing exercises -when I'm feeling anxious certain breathing exercises can help so much - it will also help with pain and labour! I would definitely advise if you can to get out in the garden when it's nice - for me, Vitamin D and sunshine makes such a huge difference to my mood and mental health, 10 mins here and there throughout the day can really help. Instead of a shower, if you can get in and out safely, a nice warm (not too hot) bubble bath helps me too. Pop a candle on and some relaxing music or read a book to distract you. Perhaps call the hospital too, explain the pain relief they have given you isn't helping and is there an alternative that maybe your partner could pick up from a pharmacy for you? Above all be kind to yourself, pregnancy in these times is unnerving and a bit worrying for anyone, it's easy to feel totally overwhelmed mentally and that's without any physical pain which you also have. Take care x

eventhecathasapenis · 21/04/2020 11:11

If you can then please please change hospitals. This sounds awful and you're clesrly already stressed. You can change at any time for any reason, you don't have to deal with them anymore if you don't want.

DaiJai1066 · 22/04/2020 11:20

Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I am feeling slightly more positive today as I have managed to do a few little things and reply to friends.
I do wish I could change hospitals but unfortunately this hospital is one of the best in the country and has a specialist hospital I need right next door so the medical benefits outweigh the maternity services. I think one of the reasons I also hate going is that I’m put in a room just above the labour ward and last year when my baby died it was summer so the windows were open and all I could hear were other woman having theirs.
All of you taking the time to reply with your suggestions have already made a difference, I have picked a lighthearted not too long book to read and am sending out books I have read to friends with a letter. My partner has been very helpful and tomorrow we have date night with Virgin cocktails in the garden and I have started a list of places locally we can plan to visit after this.
Not everyday will be like yesterday or today but each day that passes is one less. Hopefully in the future I can pass on your kind advice.

OP posts:
BeMorePacific · 22/04/2020 12:12

I hope the next time you’re in hospital you have kinder, more professional midwives.
Could you get signed off work for a while? Pregnancy related sickness leave can’t be held against you. But it sounds like you need to reduce your stress.
Take care xxx

Emelene · 22/04/2020 12:18

Be kind to yourself xxxx
If it would help, you can talk through your experience with the PALs (patient experience) team at the hospital and they can feed back.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page