Overbearing grandparents

[ejmay90]

I'm 38+1 weeks pregnant and have had a heated discussion with both grandmothers today due to our disagreement on posting the birth on Facebook.
I came off social media last june when I had a miscarriage, I'm now just about to have our rainbow baby and I decided I will go back on when he is born and I want to be the first to post the news. If and when I am ready.
Both grandparents have said I need to do this quickly as they want to post and show everyone the baby.
I'm livid and got very frustrated at both of them. Is it not my choice when to post the birth of my son, is it also not my choice if I even want my son all over social media? Why has Facebook become such a big deal to everyone. Especially our parents. I was so happy off it for a year and don't know why it has become such a thing. All the important people in our lives will know by phone/text ect so why does it need to be plastered over everything.
I've told them my feelings but feel they are going to get ignored :(
My other half isnt on Facebook either and said he backs me either way and will tell everyone what the deal is but still think it will get ignored.

I also want my grandma to see pictures before it goes on Facebook as she doesn't do social media and doesn't have a picture phone. So feel until we can show her a picture through the glass (during this current time) I dont want everyone to see.
I told my other half if they don't respect my wishes I wont be sending them a picture of him when he's born so they can't post it.

Sorry for the rant, anyone else been in this situation?

I was in a similar position with my MIL, except I banned my child from social media completely. My MIL was NOT happy as she couldn't 'show off her baby'. I say just stick to your guns. Your baby, your rules, and grandparents need to know this from the start. If they post the baby on social media, you go mad. There are going to be many more times where they need to respect your wishes. They just need to get used to it.

After my in-laws posted about their first grandchild before the parents had even done so, I got DP to tell them we weren't putting it on Facebook and that we didn't want them to either. They're clearly miffed about it but have so far respected our wishes. Every time they come round they say 'oo I don't know how you've got so many cards when you haven't even told anyone!' well that's because I told everyone I'm close to via text or WhatsApp..I agree with wondering wtf the obsession with posting everything on Facebook is with that generation, I thought it was meant to be younger people that couldn't cope without posting their lives on social media I hope they do as you've asked, I would be very cross too if my in laws hadnt taken it on board.

I said to OH what if I want my child to be private and not splashed all over it?

But this isn’t the issue as you said you will put pics on so it’s a pointless argument.

Personally, I think you’re being a bit dramatic and precious, be happy they are clearly excited for you.

I think the point the PP 🌈 is completely missing is that it's your baby so it should be your news to share first regardless. How dare anybody come along and want to announce the birth of your child before you for goodness sake it's ridiculous!!

It is nice that they're excited but if it were me... I'd be very firm saying that until you announce the birth of your child yourself they cannot post anything. If they do then they will not have the same relationship with you that they currently do and that will be on them. If they cannot respect your wishes on something so very important and personal then 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

The only thing I disagree on is you said you think it's ok for your own mum to be excited and want a call soon as your in labour but don't understand why your OHs parents would - it's no different in my eyes and you need to treat both sets of grandparents the same. Their son is having a baby, their grand child, just like your parents. That doesn't however grant them permission to announce the birth if you don't want them to. Simple as.