Recently single, pregnant and struggling

[FirstTimeMum234]

Hi everyone,

Hope everyone is keeping safe during lockdown. My partner left me when 17 weeks pregnant and said that he doesn't want anything to do with the baby. I am now 22 weeks pregnant and still really struggling to come to terms with how my life has changed. We haven't had any contact for 2 weeks now.

I feel really overwhelmed, especially isolating. I have great friends and am very lucky to be back with my parents, who have been great support. My ex's family are even in contact weekly to check on me/say that they will be in the baby's life and are offering to buy things. But it isn't the same as getting the support from your partner/the baby's dad. I go through waves of thinking 'you b***d you should be helping too'. I am disgusted in what he has done but still missing him and our relationship so much & can't believe the man I loved so much doesn't even have the decency to check in on me/the pregnancy considering the circumstances.

I have started to buy things for the baby (I am having a little boy) and feeling him kicking is keeping me going every day, but I am really hurting and ultimately am spiralling into depression / obsessing over how it has ended.

Is there anyone who has gone through or is going through the same and did everything work out for you? How did you help get yourself better? I have posted a few times on here and it almost brings me comfort I guess? (Apologies for those who have read any of my previous posts)

Sorry, not in your position, but just wanted to offer some sympathy

To be fair your lucky you got his family involvement who are calling and happy to buy you stuff I didn’t even get that. Father left me at 12 weeks contact has been brief seems more interested in baby then me. Had to buy everything myself and had no support off his family. The guy is a twat but count yourself lucky he comes from a family. That cares

Just wanted to offer some support. This happened to friend of mine, the father left during pregnancy and has absolutely zilch to do with his son (his loss) but his parents have been wonderful. They are very supportive grandparents and extremely proud of my friend and her son. In fact they have him overnight every other Saturday so my friend could continue to work and have a night out or a rest.

I know it's easy for me to say but it really is his loss and any 'father' who backs out halfway through a pregnancy is not going to be a decent father anyway. It hurts at first obviously but my friend since met a lovely man who took on her son without hestitation so there are decent men out there and you will find one after this, I promise.

To be upset, angry etc are all natural responses. You're grieving for a relationship. It takes time. Glad to hear his family are supportive. You're probably find you're better off without him.

I've got a 15 month old and a 4 month old and their dad left me when my youngest was 3-4 weeks old....I more or less went through the pregnancy on my own too, you just have to stay positive, at the end of the day your the one who will reap the rewards when you get to spend quality time with your baby boy and you fill find your days will get easier, honestly they give me reason to get up of a morning and I can say I'm happy with my life... single parenting is hard but it's worth it when you start getting little smiles and giggles and porridge kisses in the mornings
You got this girl! Your stronger than you think! Us lone parents are made of strong stuff!

Thank you for your replies and for sharing similar stories xx

I know I am lucky that his sisters and parents are still wanting to be involved, but I am also wondering how this could work if he is not involved. What hurts more is he already has two kids, both of whom he adores. Makes me think what is so wrong with me :(

There's nothing wrong with you - he's a twat. If he already has 2 kids he's being selfish and I'm willing to bet he's freaking out about finances/CPS payments etc so he thinks saying 'I don't want to be involved' is his get out of jail free card. Which it is not obviously.

Well yes, but surely he is going to be worse off now!! Idiot!