teen pregnancy

[cobban]

hi I am a teen mom I am having my next kid in one month and I don't know how to take care of a one year old and a newborn can someone tell me some tips

Hey. Are social services involved? Are you in education? Do you have any family or support network close by?

No need to be nasty people

Op do you have any family support? Or any from your childrens dad?

I'm appalled at these comments
How old are you? Do you qualify for some child care for the 1 year old?
You need social care input
What country are you in?

@cultkid I'm appalled but not surprised. MN is full of some really horrible people unfortunately. @cobban just take it one day at a time. You didn't know how to care for a newborn last time but look where you are now with a one year old. This time around you know how to care for a newborn, and how to care for a one year old. The only challenge you have it juggling the two of them. The first few weeks will be hard, like they are with a newborn, but each day you'll be working towards your new normal and it'll get easier. If things are getting too much, just remember, nothing is forever and one day you'll look back and be so so proud of how far you've come. Reach out for help too, being a parent is hard work for anyone. Good luck x

It’s going to be tough but go with your instincts, you say you have a 1 year old. Therefore you have experience of looking after a baby. Make sure you health visitor and midwife are on board with your circumstances. I am sure you will be fine, many teenage mums are brilliant.

What sort of support do you have? Family, father of the children, friends?
Ask these people for help. It will be tough but with help you can do it.

Hi @cobban I think we all feel the same when we have our second child, I was 36 and still not ready! My tips would be if you have a baby carrier, I had a baby Bjorn to carry baby on your chest and my baby liked so it was easier to do things with both. I also had one of the bouncy vibrating chairs, it was great - little one often slept in it in the kitchen while I did craft or cooked for my eldest. Enjoy the time as best you can and if your 1 year old likes TV don't worry if they watch more than usual at the beginning. Ignore the rude comments on here! Good luck Xxx

The only advice I'll give you is exactly what I was given. Breathe! When things start to feel too much, stop what you're doing if it's safe, take a deep breath and count to 10. It'll help you to calm down and bring focus, if the children are acting up, release the breath as a hum, one loud continuous note, it's quite funny how shocked they are when you do it, they kind of just stare at you while you do it and forget what they were doing.
Don't be afraid to ask for help, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I'm not ok"

How old are you and do you have support, is dad involved? If you don't and he isn't, there is no harm is contacting support agencies. You can do this, you've done it once, you can do it again, it's just a juggling act, but you'll work out your groove soon enough.

OP

what's your situation? do you have family support? is the father taking any responsibility?

PP please stop to think before typing. there is a young human on the other side of the screen. no matter how you personally feel about things. This a child reaching out for help.

You'll be fine. I had a small age gap between my DC and they're the best of friends. Reach out to family and friends for support. Wishing you well.

Your lovely babies will love being close in age. It will hopefully make the toddler tears a little easier as they’ll always have someone to play with. It will be tough, but have faith in yourself you can do it.
I’d really recommend looking into nursery for your oldest, just so you get some 1-2-1 time with your baby. Take care xxx

Congratulations on your baby. I had two very close together, with little help. I had a double buggy which was good as I couldn't keep tabs on both when we were out. A sling did not work for me as my eldest was very active and wanted to walk then sometimes got tired and needed a cuddle. Breastfeeding made it easier as you can just pop a boob out anywhere. I had a terrible time breastfeeding DC1 but persevered with DC2 and was glad of it as it made things logistically easier. I actually think being a teen mum is great as by the time you are 30 they are more independent and you can devote yourself to your career. Are you still studying, if so try and keep going so you keep your options open career wise. Claim every benefit you can and remember children don't need lots of flashy stuff when they are tiny, go for secondhand and just have the basics, bouncy /vibrating baby chair, double buggy, cots. If people offer to help take help. Good luck, lots of teen mums I've seen are awesome.

OP you can do this and you will.
Drop expectations. Everyone fed and safe, that is all you are looking for here. 3 first months are hard but they pass, keep counting down the weeks, they will pass.
A sling is the best as baby can sleep there.
Do you have a HV?

I echo a lot of things said here - breastfeeding and a sling made my life so much easier with a newborn and a just turned 2 year old! Look into financial support for childcare too for your oldest, just a couple of days a week will mean you can sleep when the baby sleeps.
Finally, ignore the nasty comments on here. The internet makes people bold enough to say what they never would in real life and some nasty sods take real delight in that I posted recently about worrying about my weight in pregnancy and got several smug gits on there too. Some people are just sad and insecure enough to need to feel better than everyone else constantly. That's their problem, not yours.

And yes, if you can breastfeed, it will be harder in the first 3 months but easier and cheaper in the long run! I kept saying that to myself...

Thank u so much

I’m 32 and not sure I’m ready either.

Don’t let people be judgemental.

You can do this- you have a baby already!

Organisation is key. Friends and family for support. Be kind to yourself. Good luck!

Hi, I was a teen mum too . Ihad my first baby at 17 then my second 1year half later. It was difficult but I did it! Ones 20 and the other is 18. Do you have family support or the support of the father to help you?. You have done it so far with your 1 year old so I'm sure you are doing a fantastic job! Keep your head up and dont listen to any negative comments! Xx

You'll be entitled to a support bubble with a baby under one so use support if you have it. Try and get them both to nap at the same time if you can, so you can also sleep. Get baby gates if your older one is mobile then if you're struggling you can put baby safely on the floor and keep the older one away from them for you to catch your breath. Try and get out every day with a sling or buggy. Fresh air will help the older one sleep and the little one recognise day from night.

Try to organise where you live so that you can make sure both babies are safe.
I found a travel cot downstairs as a safe place to put the older one really useful. And baby gates and childproof the lounge & bedroom. So you know the 1 year old can’t get hurt when you are feeding/changing the baby.
If you need to leave the room, older baby in the travel cot or bedroom cot where they are safe.
New baby in the pram/or travel cot if sleeping. Never leave either in the highchair/eating/having a bottle. Even if you’re just going to the toilet.
It’s hard, but doable.
Babygrows and vests, minimise the washing and drying. Small babies don’t need to be dressed in clothes, and babygrows are easy to clean/dry.

Sleep when you can, eat healthy snacks and plenty of water so you are at your best.
Try to get out for a walk once a day, even if it seems like a huge effort. Fresh air and a change of scene helps you all.

ZOMBIE THREAD!